In The Deep

Kids; communicating, but not too much- I`m still working on the balance and finding a good supply of songs there.
Listens appreciated and comments welcome.


Style is _LONEBOY.STY (Lone Boy Acoustic Guitar Ballad)

RealTracks in song: 3119:Bass, Acoustic, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2195:Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm CoolJazzPopHeld Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2914:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Folky16thsBrent Ev16 085
RealTracks in song: 1761:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 085
RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
RealDrums [in Song:ShakerFolkEv16: a: Shaker b: ShakerFolkEv16




In The Deep

the brush of wings
sensing things
down our road tonight

touching your cheek
the answer I seek
flies out of sight

I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place

a moments storm
wordless borne
across your lovely face

take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep

drawing circles in squares
what`s in there
at the heart of black

every child`s dread
reach under the bed
what will you bring back

take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep

brave vivid strong
your unwritten song
waiting in the deep

take me with you
show me all the hues
that make up your blues
in the deep


© Robert Cordrey June 2020

What a beautiful song Robert. Lovely lyric and perfect vocal. Well done

I really like this, Robert. Well written as always.

Love the the harmonies during the chorus, and very effective bringing back that first verse for the ending.

Enjoyed!

Style fits the (very poetic) lyrics perfectly, cello enhances the mood and the sound fx clinches the deal. Well done.

Robert,

This is really good. On every level.

Excellent write. Definitely a new favorite. The short phrases really show off your lyric strengths.

Good BAND. Good vocal. They fit together really well. The shaker is the perfect choice for RD/percussion. There are times when the cello and acoustic bass get pretty "bass-y" (like at the first "take me with you") - the combination of their low frequencies - rolling off a bit of low end on one of them might open that up some.

Cool ending. (maybe a little louder than it needs to be?)

I very much enjoyed this. Great job.

fj

Robert,
Nice airy tune. Cello was an excellent choice!
Lyrics...something I look up to
A good contrast to your denser tunes. Listens very well.
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Great song, I love when I completely 'get' your lyrics as I did with this one. (Cryptic is good, too, usually) Really like all your musical choices, made for a great piece. Excellent!

Robert,

A very poetic write, coupled with your usual stellar vocals—real pretty tune. I was particularly struck by these lines:

"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

But there were a bunch that really resonated here. Very well done, Robert!

All my best,

Deej

Thank you, Scott!





Dave,
Glad you liked this- thank you for your consistent support!




Thanks for those positive comments!



Thanks Floyd,
Combining a cello and bass is tricky ( I dropped the bowed bass in the style as the clash was too much)- will have a look at the low end eq again.
I appreciate your alert listen and kind comments!

Robert

"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

Deej already quoted that but, hey, it's our fav too.

Well, another fav that Janice just mentioned

"take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep"

We much like the vocals, nice harmony, and the acoustic guitars
and cello were tailor made for the composition.

Janice, the eternal child, said she was already envisioning tree frogs
and fireflies (lightening bugs as us Southerners call them) before the tag.

I sometimes speculate that perhaps children are not meant to be understood...

Nice!

J&B

Another great song. I listened through some of your tracks on soundcloud and I really love your poetic lyrics and the sensitive arrangements. Really good stuff...

Robert ...

You give poetic music a new and higher definition. So much said in so few words. And the vocal is wonderful! The acoustic backing, with such a nice arrangement, only adds to the sentiment and power presented the well-chosen words. This is really something to be proud of. So very nice!

Best to you. Be safe ...

Alan

Well crafted tune. Lovely lyrics and vocals. I too love that cello. Beautiful touch. Nice one.

Wow, I'm stunned. Loved every bit of the song - vocals, arrangement, harmony.

Very cool.
Personally I'd've ditched the bass and let the cello cover the bottom end with a little EQ to increase the bottom E on the finger picked acoustic, and panned those up the middle I suppose.

Thank you, Misha!



Cryptic service will be resumed soon; thank you for your appreciative comments!




That`s very kind- thank you!



Please let Janice know that the opening lines ( which is where the song idea came from) were exactly that experience of night creatures (bats/bugs/birds- heard, felt, not seen) from tropical nights.
I agree with your observation about understanding kids... one that level the song is an example of trying too hard to make sense of their world!

Robert

Hi Robert,

A sweet melody, melancholic and so nicely sung!
As others already said; the cello fits so nice in it, a good instrument for this song!

And -as usual- brilliant lyrics!
I hope one day I can write one of this kind...

Hans

Robert

A lovely delicate piece (almost a Nick Drake feel) well performed and arranged.
A very enticing lyric, and overall very well done.

Peter

A lyric to melt into delivered with soft grace. The band is all it needs to be, and the progression (and melody wrung from it) moves me as well. Excellent package.

I enjoyed the simple poetic lyric, mysterious imagery expressed in few words. Not a haiku but I had to count the syllables The beautiful chording works very well with the picking guitar and that nice melodic cello. Great ending like falling into a colorful dream.

Janne

Very beautiful song Robert! Man was that cello ever an inspired choice! Nice work with those harmonies along with the lead vox! Wonderful melody! Fabulous ending! Thanks, Torrey

A very beautiful song - the combination of the excellent choice of instrumentation, sense of rhythm and pacing, and the well crafted lyrics create a wonderful atmosphere and feel. The vocals really carry the song, and convey a distinct sense of longing, tinged with joy.

Chris,
Thanks for your listens and positive comments!




That`s very kind, Al- thank you!



Thank you!



I appreciate your thumbs up on this!



Ok, those are interesting alternatives...if I revisit this.




Hi Hans,
Thank you for commenting- you are a very supportive participant here and that`s much appreciated!


Robert

Peter,
Nick Drake wrote a lot into very simple lyrics- if this reminds of his style I`m happy.
Thanks for commenting.





Thank you, Mr T!





Janne,
I let the VersePerfect software count my syllables.Thank you for your very kind comments!

Robert

Thank you, Torrey- glad you liked those insects at the end!






Ed,
That`s very kind- thank you for commenting.

Robert

Well written and performed, Robert. Deep feelings in every verse. The mix sounds perfect.

Very, very cool song!! One of your best......lyrics (love the rhyme scheme) and vocal!! Great stuff Robert!! Take care. Greg

This song felt like fresh air in my life! Really enjoyed listening to the lyrics and the music.
Well done!

Thanks for sharing!
Will

Superb. Trademark sensitivity from you, wrapped up in - at first, at least - perhaps deliberately ambiguous and cryptic lyrics. You are certainly one of the very best poets on this site, both lyrically and musically. And: your songs are like balm to wounds. Whenever I feel like screaming internally, I know that, if you've put a new song on here, I'll be calmer (if not necessarily happier) about my lot. Acoustic balm for the soul. Thank you.