Just created another one ... this time, I do hope to goodness that I have managed to stay a proper distance away from the mic, as has been my intention! but, if not, please tell me :-) Anyway, here it is ... hope you enjoy :-) Thanks for listening and for any and all comments!

https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/love-letter


LOVE LETTER

When I'll be old
And sat with you by the fire
This story will be told, as I
Look at you, and never tire

Of your beautiful, lovely eyes
That have saved my life;
I'll be thanking the skies
That you are my wife ...

You have loved me so
I don't know what I have done
To deserve you, though ...
When we dance, we're one ...

You have saved my soul
From the ghosts of the past ...
I can hold you close
And sigh softly: "at last ..."

But for now, it's just me,
Alone, by this fire
In my eyes, there's pain
From some past desire ...

To meet you, I haven't yet;
And as I wait to be saved
From myself, I let
My soul fly ahead

to when ... I will have said:

You have loved me so
I don't know what I have done
To deserve you, though ...
When we dance, we're one ...

You have saved my soul
From the ghosts of the past ...
I can hold you close
And sigh softly: "at last ..."

[BRIDGE]

Please don't tarry much
My hair's already grey,
I am no great catch,
I'm getting older every day ...

But if you're out there
Please don't turn me down
Hope you answer my prayer
Before in tears I drown ...


****** Song Summary *************
Title: To The One I'll Love - 25 October 2020
File:To The One I'll Love - 25 October 2020.SGU
Key=Eb , Tempo 80, Length (m:s)=3:54
No intro. 74 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 74. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
Soloist track has 291 notes, Soloist harmony is < no harmony >(0)
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Song is saved with bar changes for Key Signature,
Style is _SATURN.STY (Saturn '90s R 'n' B Piano Ballad)

RealTracks in style: 1825:Bass, Electric, PopModernGrooveHeld Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1767:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm Pop16 Ev16 085
Loop in Song: Pop-Soul-RnB\R n B - slowjam_a_62_f drums ev16.wav
Loop in Song: Pop-Soul-RnB\R n B - slowjam_c_62_a drums ev16.wav
*******************

voice recorded and mixed in Audacity

It caught me by surprise while listening that the love was only imagined (and longed for). Made me sad to hear that last verse, but it was effective songwriting. One of your best, I think. Good work!

Yeah, that was the plot twist :-) - I tried not to give it away until the middle of the second verse. Thanks!

Nice stuff James!! Voice sounds good! Nice music! Take care. Greg

James,
I was taken by surprise by the twist in meaning; it does work to make the song more plaintive.
I think your good as far as capturing your voice goes.
I enjoyed the sadness!

Robert

James,

A good write - a good twist.

GREAT job on the vocal. Good level all the way through and it sits really well in the mix. Well done!!

fj

Greg, Robert and Floyd Jane: thank you so much for listening and for such nice comments. I wasn't 100% sure about this one, so I'm glad you liked it. Especially happy that I've managed to somehow be at the right distance from the mic ... now that I know how, I'll hopefully repeat this in other, future songs. Again, thanks!

Not as far from the mic as needed but it's pretty good James.
Rustyspoon make an interesting suggestion last week...to put a facial tissue on the pop screen for a slightly better degree of attenuation of plosives and sibilant sounds. I tried it and it works.

Honesty time: I simply forgot about the facial tissue this time. Argh!

I will experiment with the distance and try to be even further away, in that case!

Thanks for listening!!!

Very touching lyrics.
Nice arrangement.
Well done.

About managing plosives:
Don't forget mic placement.
Try placing the mic a little further away.
Try placing it higher aimed down.
Try placing it off to one side aimed at a right angle rather than directly at you.

Thank you Captain!!! I will work on mic placement for sure - it's well worth it. Thanks for taking the trouble and time to listen and comment!

Hello James,

to me that's definitely one of your best. The lyrics (before the twist) were so heartfelt, expressing waht I feel abut my wife.

A real treat !!!

Take good care,

Stefan

Thank you Stefan - your kind words genuinely mean a lot. I'm so happy you liked it.

Nice!

Love the surprise twist.

It is enjoyable in all the production aspects - write, vocals and mix.

Take care,

J&B

Thank you, Janice and Bud! I'm so glad you liked it.

Touching lyrics, both romantic and sad at the same time, the twist is nice and creative, always nice to hear something that breaks traditional formulas without feeling forced, here it is essential part of the story.
Very creative chord progression, many unexpected turns, sometimes changing quite rapidly but that's ok because that's a good reason for a re-listening. The calming backing track supports the story well.
I would have titled the song 'At Last', because the 'letter' is not directly present, that's just how I felt the powerful lyrical image, nothing wrong with 'Love Letter'

Janne

Thanks Janne for your kind comments, really happy you liked it. There is a song by Etta James called "At Last" already ... but yes, I take your point on board re: the "letter" not being directly present. I will look at the lyrics again to see if there's a case for another name! Thanks again :-)

Heartfelt lyrics that the last verse really bring home James! I think the music bed you have chosen for this works well! Take care, T

Thanks Torrey - really appreciated!!!

HI James ...

You have a unique and intriguing performance for the spoken word song. Always a pleasure to hear you!

The backing tracks are excellent, as is everything else. I love lyrics with a twist. I wrote on, about 10 years ago, that had a totally unexpected twist in the very last verse. It for a very nice reception. Wishing you the very best. Be safe ...

Alan

Thanks Alan - very kind words from you as always. I would love to hear the song you wrote, if you want to post it up on here! God bless, please take care and be safe!

Musician17,

This is really nicely done. It’s a fine write and the spoken word vocal is delivered very well—just the right pacing. And the twist is slick . . . pulls the listener in when it hits. For me, in the mix, there’s a high chiming bell sound that pops up, not quite sure what it is . . . in spots it’s perfect and in others for me a little distracting. Not sure if there’s a way for you to manage that. But that’s a small nit and may be just me. Good work on this!

All my best,

Deej