More of Me
Feat. Xtine Louise
______

I created the piano melody myself and then added the _WESTPNO.sty with:
Bass=2474
Guitar 1=365 Acoustic Fingerpicking
Guitar 2=2916 Acoustic Rhythm
I also added style _ARDENT.sty to the bridge to change it slightly.

Your feedback is always welcome and appreciated.
Bob P (ChicagoBob)


Lyrics

Verse 1
i just heard the screen door slam again
oh but this time i’m not coming after you
Me not chasing you is my way of letting go
Time to find out who I am here on my own

Chorus
I know there’s more for me
i ‘ve got the whole world to see....
a brand new life is standing right in front of me
I lost you my love now I’m the one i am dreaming of
and becoming more of me and less of you
more of me

Verse 2
I cant stay in this lonely town
cause there is reason is there is nothing me down
me down

Chorus
I know there’s more for me
I have got the whole world to see
a brand new life is standing right in front of me
I lost you my love now I’m the one i am dreaming of
and becoming more of me and less of you
more of me

Bridge
more of me
more of me

Nice song.
Lovely melody.
A very sweet voice mixing country and folk flavours with a very contemporary nasal tone.
Cool.

Thanks RayC--- do like the arrangement?

Very, very pretty song!! Lovely melody, and the singer is great!!.....where'd you find her? She has a hint of Rickie Lee Jones. I think the relatively sparse arrangement is exactly what the song needs. AWESOME!!! Take care. Greg

Thanks Greg, i can pass on her contact info if you are interested in hiring her.

I revised this to make it more commercial and stay under 3:00 minutes. Also changed from 90 BPM to 100 and added a new guitar in the chorus...

Well Its great combination I want to listen this

Hi ChicagoBob,

that's a really good one. Love that voice, that lady sure knows how to sing. Nice arrangement and mix. Enjoyed it a lot.

Take care,

Stefan

Lovely melody, the arrangement suits the song really well and the singer is great - those high notes are exquisite. Nice work.
Regards,
Leon

Yeah, it supports the song really nicely.
I did listen again to be sure...it gets a little busier and the vocal could be lifted a little at about 1.44 - just after that Autotune sounding vocal part.

thanks--- do you have any suggestions on how to improve it?

I liked everything about this song. Super arrangement, fantastic voice, and an excellent mix. I wouldn't change a thing.

Thanks Leon-- i think she made the melody i wrote really pop

Thank you Mario

I added Real Strings to the 2nd chorus to add more depth as well as Nashville 8 drums which I bring in at the first chorus

The singer's got a great sounding voice, and the arrangement is really effective at creating a pretty setting.

Musically, this is really nice.

But... For my aged ears, the intelligibility pretty low, and I have to struggle to make out what she's singing. The consonants /T/ and /R/ are so soft in places as to be non-existent. In some places the consonants are being swallowed up by instruments.

As I'm not your target audience, I doubt that's an actual problem needing a solution. And to reference back to Greg's post, that didn't really hurt Ricky Lee Jones, did it? And I had a heck of a time understanding what she was singing as well.

Edit: On the off chance that you did want to increase the intelligibility (and again, I'm not saying that's something you actually want to do), my first thought would be to do a bit of an EQ cut on the instruments around the 2K range. Unfortunately, that's also where the guitar lives, so that's not likely to end well.

The other option - a bit less intrusive - would be to ride the vocals to bring out the consonants. Or if you're into micro-editing (one of my bad habits) put envelopes around the plosives to give them a bit more clarity.

It sounded like the piano is sitting in the same space as your vocalist. I'm not sure there's a need to double the vocal in the piano, even though it is a really pretty sound.

Anyway, feel free to ignore my suggestions. I'd take feedback from almost anyone over me any day of the week!

I like the song, the vocalist and the arrangement.
Very well done!

I do agree that the vocal track needs to be tweaked a bit.

I'm listening on a laptop with cheap headphones so, it's difficult to pinpoint any EQ recommendations.
Listening thru this setup I'd guess it could use a cut in the 500 - 1K range.

However, I would suggest using a compressor with slower attack time to make the vocals pop more, in keeping with a contemporary vibe.
That will also enhance clarity on the consonants.

Moto

Yep - what Mario said! I couldn't have said better. Thanks for a really nice listen. To my ears, your vocalist sounds a bit like Natalie Maines. Regardless, she and your song combine for a really nice listen. Best to you ...

Alan

Great arrangement and melody! I really like Xtinas vocals as well.

David, Thank you for the ideas to improve on the vocals mix and the use of EQ. I will see what I can do.

Sounds GREAT to me. Not my genre but she delivers it well and the instrumentation is great. Again I listen to the song as a whole. I think you've nailed it. Also shows the importance of having a vocalist that can "REALLY" sing delivery. I like it a lot !!

Great job Chicago Bob! Obviously excellent production and vocals but the lyrics are equaly fantastic. Are you a member of NSAI? If not, you should consider attending the next NSAI Chicago Chapter meeting; they were actually awarded the NSAI 2020 chapter of the year because of how well they support their songwriting community. Regardless, I really enjoyed your song.

Thanks Dewey, I am checking into the Chicago Chapter
Bob

Bob, I like this a lot. I have listened several times. That girl can sing and the tone of her voice is perfect for the song. Well written and a real pleasure to listen to,Tom

Thanks Tom, Do you think this song has commercial value? I have a chance to pitch a song and wondering if this is the right one?

Sure! Good luck.

Hi ChicagoBob,

Very nice song full of emotion. The voice is gripping and the sweet and sober arrangement well done. I really appreciated.

Kindly regard

Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash

Dewey, Thanks for the advice on the Nashville Songwriters. I just signed up--there are a lot of benefits and wanted to share them on the forum

https://www.nashvillesongwriters.com

I added a little video to help the song get visibility at YouTube and social media--

https://youtu.be/WaV_5vXJzg0

Dynamic arrangement, and a sweet voice to carry fine lyrics to that engaging melody. A wonderful production, ChicagoBob.

I created a video to go with the song --helps on youtube and facebook

Nice melody. Good vocal.

Thank you for the feedback

Excellent melody and arrangement and supported by
a nice vocal.

Well done!

J&B

Hi ChicagoBob,

I had already commented on your composition that I appreciated but your video gives an extra charm to your composition.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJack Flash

Thanks Derochette, I am trying to do more work with videos and I find that the songs with video get more plays on all of my channels.
Bob

I pitched this a couple of times and several comments were that that the chorus didnt stand out enough -- and ideas?

This gets my vote for the Title of the month (or maybe year)!

Thanks @MusicStudent.. for me, I find that the title is so important for me in my creation process-- even for an instrumental it helps me "hear the song" in my head.

The song is really nice and the singer is terrific. I'm not sure why I and others cannot make out the words she is singing. You could hire a pro mixer, they are not cheap ($100 roughly, so I'm told) but that could solve your problem.

As far as pitching it, have you listened to current music? Even ballads nowadays have hip hop elements to them. It's a mighty tough road. You've done a great job with this and obviously you've earned the admiration of the BIAB Showcase users. That would make me content.