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Posted By: Deej56 Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 03:40 PM
Hi, all:

Feels like it's been a while since I've made my way to the board . . . now trying to play a little catch up on my listens. Some truly wonderful tunes out there, making for a fine Sunday morning of listening. I've been in a bit of rut musically, with not much coming together easy . . . but here's another collaboration with Carroll Kiphen that I'm hoping is well enough along to share.

I changed the original lyrics to third person (singing about her rather than to her), which then required a change to the first two lines of the second verse. And then, together, Carroll and I rewrote the bridge. But the rest of the lyrics are true to the original.

I hope you enjoy the listen!

My best to you all,

Deej

Here's the song:

FIFTEEN FEET

Here are the lyrics:

She lights the room with her smile
I dream she shines for me
If I could have one little wish
It’s that she gives her love to me

How I wish, how I wish
She’ll be mine someday
Distant star, she’s a distant star
So, so far away

Fifteen feet, fifteen feet
She’s fifteen feet away
The room to me
Feels like a galaxy
But she’s fifteen feet, fifteen feet
She’s fifteen feet away

It breaks my heart that we’re apart
When I love her like I do
If I could kiss her just one time
It’d make my dream come true.

Well, I’d walk across the universe
and promise her the moon
But what would it serve
If I can’t find the nerve
To walk across this room

And it feels like a billion miles
But she’s fifteen feet away

And here's the band:

RealTracks 2665: Bass, Electric, RockNRollBritSwing
RealTracks 1985: Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm EZListening
RealTracks 1016: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm BluesRockFuzzy
RealTracks 1013: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm BluesRockCrisp
RealTracks 3359: Guitar, Electric, Soloist, Blues Brit Rock
RealDrums: RockNRollBritSwing: a: Snare, HiHatb: Snare, Tambo
Posted By: Derochette Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 04:03 PM
Hi Deej56,

It is true when we see a pretty girl, we are afraid to approach her for fear of being repulsed. And this is often a mistake. I appreciated your lyrics, your voice well suited to this composition. I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Posted By: Ghostgum Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 05:10 PM
This is a song that should resonate with just about every guy who lacks the confidence to approach the girl of his dreams. The backing band is upbeat enough give the fellow a glimmer of hope! Aaaalright!
Posted By: musician17 Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 06:10 PM
I was actually going to write to you, to see how you were, since I hadn't heard from you in ages. Anyway: what a comeback. One of your best. That silence from most of the band, apart from the drums, on "fifteen feet" is inspired and memorable. You've done it again - and I will say one thing: when you are on top form, there's no-one that can hold a candle to you. No-one. And, here, you certainly are on top form. Hats off! :-)
Posted By: Scott C Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 11:05 PM
Very cool backtrack. Loved the intro. Got you right into the song. Another awesome vocal and lyric DeeJ. Well done
Posted By: Leon1 Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/06/21 11:46 PM
Good to hear from you, Deej. A fine collaboration. Good lyrical conceit. Rocks along very nicely and your vocal is terrific, as usual.
Regards,
Leon
Posted By: BlueAttitude Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 09:21 AM
Hey Deej,

Great intro, and man, I love what you did in the chorus! Cool ending too. Love your vocal as always, so distinctive and unique wink

Excellent collaboration!
Posted By: floyd jane Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 10:51 AM
Deej,

A fun listen.

Good BAND. Good vocals.

On the speakers I'm listening on, the high end is really pronounced which makes the tambourine "prominent" at times. And the bottom end could be a bit beefier. (a little less so on earbuds). After several listens, my eras got tired from the high-end-ness...
The vocal is well recorded - with a good balance - and sits nicely in the mix.
The BGVs are nice. The low harmony seems like it's "in a different space" than the rest of the mix - it keeps dragging my ear from the main vocal.

Always good to see you posting again.

fj
Posted By: Guitarhacker Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 11:37 AM
Cool tune....

Rockabilly love angst.... 15 feet might as well be 15 miles and it feels like walking a tightrope over a canyon to cross those 15 feet.

nice work. Loved your voice.... perfect for the song.
Posted By: Alexander Paul Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 12:58 PM
Great vocals and melody! Maybe a bit too much focus on the drums in the mix?
Posted By: firesong Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 03:50 PM
Deej...Great song...loved the energy and concept...the breaks really put a pop in the mix...I agree with Floyd about the high end and the lower harmony...those seem like easy fixes to a great mix IMO...enjoyed it very much...Dan
Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 08:31 PM
I knew as soon as I heard the opening riff, I was in for a treat.

It's good to hear another one from you.

Excellent song, band, and vocal performance.
Posted By: CaptainMoto Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 09:21 PM
Oh, how that captures the "close but yet so far" yearning.

moto
Posted By: rayc Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/07/21 10:12 PM
Cool song Deej,
the drums are very "mono" and crisp - that tambourine is louder than the vocal.
I agree with FJ about listening fatigue due to the super crisp drums.
Cool song, very cool narrative - rock n roll, band, hall, mixing of sexes and desires - there is a bit of a rockabilly vibe but the RTs also lead it to early Brit rock like Shaking All Over.
Posted By: bluage Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/08/21 03:09 AM
Hi, 'Deej56'...

What a clever and imaginative set of lyrics you wrote! I think you actually achieved a sense of suspense by repeatedly emphasizing the fifteen feet of distance that separated you from the girl. Closer...closer...but not close enough. High-fives on the fun wordplay!

The music? Thumbs-up on the swinging, swaggering rock 'n' roll that gets hands clapping to the rhythm and bodies makin' musical motion on the dance floor. Also, I noticed you didn't indicate a Real Style. If that's the case, then you deserve another high-five for doing the research and making the selection of the Real Tracks you included in the song.

Your singing is irresistible. Your voice seems to go wherever you take it! The low-end harmony is playful and put a smile on my face because of the novelty of it. There's always an upbeat energy in your productions that makes them 'must listen to' experiences. Thank you for continuing to entertain us!
Posted By: Crossroads Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/08/21 11:55 AM
Hi Deejay,

okay, it's some 50 years ago that I had THAT kind of a feeling, but there are some very blurred memories behind that haze of old age laugh

No, seriouly: A very (!) catchy tune, pretty close to perfect, I think. Even though that was a sad situation for you, the music lifted me up. Liked it a lot!

Take care,

Stefan
Posted By: rsdean Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/08/21 12:17 PM
Deej,

This is great! Killer song and vocal.

Bob
Posted By: TuneMonger Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/09/21 06:19 AM
Liked the title hook, the stops, the call and response, and pretty much everything about this. And of course it's delivered by one of the best voices on the forum. Nice work!
Posted By: Janice & Bud Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/09/21 05:37 PM
Forgive us for throwing a most hackneyed word: CATCHY!
Sometimes those toss away words work as with this production.
Maybe instantly engaging is better...whatever it gets ya from the get go.

The lyric is a fresh and cool take on the age old theme of reticence
to make THE move smile

Your vocals are excellent...lead and harmony.

And a good band to carry it all.

Well done!

J&B
Posted By: Deej56 Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/11/21 03:48 PM
Derochette, Ghostgum, musician17, Scott, Leon, Dave, Floyd, Guitarhacker, Alexander, firesong, Ezekiel, Cap’n, rayc, bluage, Stefan, Bob, TuneMonger, and J&B:

Thanks to you all for the kind comments and the great feedback and suggestions.

Based on feedback from Floyd, Alexander, firesong and rayc I went back in to address the high end problem. I suspected that tambourine was going to be an issue—not sure why I didn’t try adjusting it before posting. Sometime you can’t see the forest for the trees.

Anyway, the challenge here was that the tambourine was baked into the RealDrums track (the B to the A-B). So I did away with the B sections to get the tambourine out of the track. Then I added a separate tambourine track which gave me a bit more control over it without impacting the drums. I then also tried to take some of the high end out of the drum and dropped the volume a tad.

As for the back-up bass vocal. It would have been great to get someone that can actually sing bass—for me, it’s about as low as I can go and stay (almost) in tune. I did play with it some to get it sit better in the “room”—not sure how much of a difference it made.

So hopefully the changes help a bit (and didn’t make it worse!). Thanks again for the insightful feedback. The link above should go to the revised version.

My best to each of you,

Deej
Posted By: vicarn Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/11/21 04:44 PM
Hi Deej.
Something about your voice reminds me of Buddy Holly.
Great arrangement and idea.

Re the bass harmony, at one time I sang bass harmonies in the band but age has lessened my range.
I could try it if you send me the track but can't guarantee.

Vic
Posted By: Rustyspoon# Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/11/21 08:23 PM
Deej,
Excellent rocker (If I can call it that?) and a wonderful lyrical collaboration. Has a true vintage vibe. Instrumental arrangement and your vocals are great. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.
Posted By: Birchwood Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/12/21 08:01 AM
Hi Deej,

I am really glad you too found your way back to this forum. And with a very cool rocker I say! I enjoyed it.
Those 'fifteen feet away' are stuck in my head now. Thanks for that too.

Have a nice day and don't worry about the 'dip' in your inspiration. I haven't noticed it in this song anyway.

Hans
Posted By: BabuMusic Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/12/21 09:22 AM
Strong chorus and bridge, and a real stirring rocker. Great idea for a song, too. The relativity of distance. Fifteen feet can surely seem like a billion miles. Well sung, and I love the harmony. A catchy hook for sure. It's one of those hooks that could come up in regular conversation. "Hand me those pliers." Singing: "But they're 15 feet, they're just 15 feet away." Stop singing: "Get 'em yourself." Man, we all know that feeling yo're singing about, Deej. Well done.
Posted By: Greg Johnson Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/14/21 09:11 PM
Fun concept, and fun song!! As others said, all guys can relate to this. I love Angel Eyes by John Hiatt which refers to the same feeling. Very well done, and I always like your vocals!!! Take care. Greg
Posted By: MarioD Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/14/21 09:18 PM
A super collaboration! Super rocking song with great vocals, outstanding lyrics and mix.

Two thumbs up.
Posted By: Deej56 Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/18/21 11:47 PM
Vic, Misha, Hans, Marty, Greg and Mario:

Really appreciate the listen—really glad you enjoyed the spin. Thanks, gents!

Stay safe, stay well—each of you.

Deej
Posted By: Deej56 Re: Fifteen Feet - 06/18/21 11:47 PM
Hey, Vic:

I’m game if you are—I’m betting you’ll do far better than I on the bass vocal. I’ll send you a PM so we can figure how to send the file along. Thanks for offering to help out—it’s much appreciated.

My best to you,

Deej
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