Hello all,

Here is a tune of mine: A Squeaky Wheel

https://soundcloud.com/tom_marvan/a-squeaky-wheel

All instruments, except vocals, are from Band in A Box. Recorded into Mixcraft 9 using drag and drop, then exported as a WAV file.

RealTracks in style: ~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~686:Organ, B3, Background Pop Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 691:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming AcRockBright Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~522:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 850:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm NashvillePopClean Ev 120
RealDrums [in style:NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

Lyrics
(C) Tom Marvan 2005

He walks into the bar, where serves the girl I love
And after my second glass, I swear she'll marry me
Wow! She's so beautiful, you'd better make it three,
But not before you give me your name, and my life meaning

Anyway, back to the merry man, who's doling out his acumen
To three girls in a corner. They giggle over spilling wine
As they murder time and listen to his spiel.
Careful, fancy that, a caveat: he's an a-hole, a jerk, a squeaky wheel

He walks into his home, where he feels so alone
Two kids and a mortgage, he treats them both interest free
Claims to love his wife, claims to hate his life
It's not so unusual for an a-hole, a jerk, a squeaky wheel

As you look up in the sky, as you walk up on high
You'll find the heavens staring back at you
The balance is in the stars, and the love that's in your heart
Will come back to you double, if you let it fly



Tom Marvan
dunbar7376

Hi Tom,

that's prety cool - love the lyrics a lot.

Cheers,

Stefan

Thank you, Stefan.

Tom Marvan.

Like the lyrics, some good lines. Melody and singing were pretty good, too. Maybe the storyline needed some tightening up. Good work!

Thank you, TuneMonger!

Tom Marvan.

Cool song!! I hear Dylan and Petty. Really good lyrics, excellent vocal and good band. The whole fun experience had a good flow. Loved it, Tom.

Unusual approach to lyrics.
Made me wanna listen to the end.

nice.

moto

Thank you, Marty!

Dylan influence sound via Knopfler.

Tom Marvan.

Thank you, moto!

Tom Marvan.

Needs something of an intro to set things up.
The narrative seems to be two stories combined and mixes 1st and third person to no great benefit.
I think the arrangement and melody, as well as your voice deserve a rethink of the package.

Nice song Tom!! Pleasant rolling melody, and nice arrangement! Do I detect and accent? Nice work!! Take care. Greg

Tom,

There’s so much to admire in the write, my favorite being “As they murder time and listen to his spiel”. Might have liked to hear the lead vocal come up just a tad in the mix, but like what you’ve done with the back up vocals, particularly at the end of the song, sitting subtly behind the mix. Nicely done!

All my best to you,

Deej

Hi Tom,

I was surprised how relaxed you were singing this very nice song. You barely raise your voice.
But that is also what gives 'power' to your song! While a lot of things happened in the lyrics, you don't notice it when listening to the music. Very nice. I read Dunbar mentioned Knopfler.For me he is right on that. (Not too much, of course. Otherwise you become to vain).

Well done. Tasted like more,
Hans

Great vocal and lyrics. I like the way you built the song up via adding the B3, excellent! The mix is also spot on.

IMHO adding a simple lead at the end might sound better then just the backing tracks playing, but that is just me.

This is an excellent song.

'dunbar7376'...

I chuckled like a guy would at the in-your-face lyrics you wrote for the first three verses of your song ! They seemed almost cynical on the underside of them, but there's interesting insights contained in them, too.

And then, in the fourth and final verse, you offered up lyrics that 'turned a corner', so to speak, on the dead-end that the subject of your song created for himself in the wake of his (implied) thoughts and actions, and it was like watching sunbeams breaking through rain clouds. A new path, perhaps? A transformational option?

The Real Band you assembled moved right along with its pop energy and served your doubled vocal track well.

In terms of what I perceive as its subtext, this is one of the most interesting songs I have listened to recently on the forum.

Thank you for the feedback, rayc. Have a good one.

Tom Marvan.

Thank you for the comments!

Your accent detection is on high alert, Greg! (Although, in these situations in person, I usually say, "YOU have the accent" which of course here makes no sense.)

I did indeed grow up in Melbourne, Australia. Have a good one!

Tom Marvan.

Thank you bluage for the kind words!

I think you are onto something with your interpretation of my song. I am glad you liked it. Have a great day!

Tom Marvan.

Hello Hans.

Thank you for the kind words!

I am massively influenced my Knopfler, and may try to add some more personal guitar playing in future tracks in addition to the lyrics and vocals.

Have a good one!

Tom Marvan
(I am also dunbar7376)

Thank you, Deej!

I had to find something that rhymed with "wheel," so "spiel" was the one! Plus a little influence from learning German and Latin ("caveat") in my high school/college years.

I agree - the lead vocal mix may need some more attention, but I felt this tune was just pushing to see the light of day, so here it is.

Have a great day,

Tom Marvan.

(Edit: Deej - I did not realize that you are DJ Lekich - I have been enjoying your tunes for a while now on Soundcloud - love your unique voice and lyrics, and am a big fan of "Songs from the Parlour" especially.)

Hello MarioD,

thank you for the kind words.

It is not just you - there is definitely space left at the end to add a lead line (guitar by me, ideally), but I need to fiddle a little more with a new interface and amp/effects unit. I may add it later or just leave it, we shall see. The song will "tell" me later.

All the best!

Tom Marvan.