Hello Folks,
I was unable to edit the OP on the original thread for this song so had to start a new one.
I spent some time listening to & thinking about my last couple of songs.
The vocals need work and I was tempted, as suggested by Floyd, to opt for synthesis BUT figured I'd better have a solid crack at doing it myself before that.
Yesterday I was alone in the house so was able to "sing" louder and for longer.
I sang slightly across the mic to reduce the harshness, plosives and sibilance in my recorded voice.
I think I achieved a less annoying recording in those terms.
This version of the song has double tracked vocals, no de-essing etc., a little tuning and some Melodyne created harmonies in the verses.
It needs more work but I seem to have managed the choruses a bit better if nothing more.
AS I LIE AWAKE - NO PITCH CHEAT TRACKING.
Thoughts, suggestions etc. always welcome and usually attempted.
UPDATE
Errant notes corrected etc.
This is the update on the other mumble song. It still needs LOTS of work on the choruses, I can't post it at the top of its own thread for the seam reason as this one...
Other Mumble Track Updated.
& here's a third track from the "free to shout" session...though it's earmarked by another singer...
Perfect Stranger (Killing A...)

Man, after all the reasons you'd given for burying your vocals, I was surprised to hear this wasn't awful. But it's better than not awful.

These unburied vocals are FINE, these unburied vocals are GOOD, if I could do that (and maybe I can, but never mind that now) I would.

Of course, artful obfuscation for its own sake is fine, no reason to leave well enough alone if you can mess with it, and as listeners we all have dues to pay. We should have to work on it. But, sometimes, after a while, having to listen to deliberately crappified vocals can leave one wishing it were just an instrumental.

This is good. As I recall earlier versions, it's a major improvement. Whatever you did, you should do it more.

I agree with Mark - this is worlds better than the prior version! It's good to hear vocals front and center, as they should be.

Nothing sticks out with the vocals, and the harmonies work nicely. Importantly to me, I could understand the vocals without having work at it.

I don't really have much to add, other than perhaps the drum could come up in the mix?

Good job!

Hi Ray,

Vocals sound very good.
You can really sing low!

I know about singing louder and longer
I always stop singing when Rob enters the room and go on when he leaves it.
He doesn't comment when I'm singing, but it is some sort of shyness that many people feel, I think, when singing without an audience and only relatives around.

Really like the song!

Anne-Marie

I don't think I heard the previous version, but I think the vocals fit this song!

Great job. You should quit your day job and give private voice lessons !
Job well done mate

Much better Vocal mix... Love the lyrics and delivery.
I agree with David, Drums & Bass could come up a bit...
I'm hearing a bad note standing out at 1:52

Sounds good. Really good.

A good balanced mix. Vocal sits perfectly.

We don't need no stinkin' robot voices....

(that original suggestion was not intended to "dis" your vocal abilities - at all!!
I just thought that the song would be a good one for a synth voice - it would "work" well)

Good job on this. A good vocal!

fj

Yes Floyd, for the Miamama song the tuning of the draft vocal was almost robotic anyway...& it coincided with similar thoughts from me as well. DCuny even offered assistance - lovely chap.
I certainly didn't take it as a slap down...I took it as a good idea but also as a "one last go" at that song...I tracked vocals for it & another on the same after noon...they're yet to be worked on in terms of comping and such.
Thanks for the kind words about this one.

Ray

Much better. An eminently listenable vocal track.

Sounds good.

Peter

Thanks Mark,
I've not had the opportunity to be loud for over a year so haven't been able to track a vocal that was useable in that time.
PLUS I'd MUCH rather someone else sing & "sell" the songs.
I think the difference in mic. technique made a significant difference as well...clarity, fewer artefacts etc.
I'm pleased, believe me, I was a shocked as you.

Thanks dc,
Drums up? I'll try it.

Thank you Anne-Marie,
I am, despite being a primary school teacher for forty years, quite shy outside the workplace.
When playing in bands I ALWAYS needed a chord chart - without it I was frozen - with it I could ignore it.
Thanks for the empathy.

Thanks A.P.,
If they fit then they're fine with me too.

Thanks bloc-head,
I was hoping those bum notes would sneak by...they're BIAB generated & that happens occasionally. The organ part has LOTS of slightly flat notes and in that section there were a couple of notes a semitone out so they poked into view.
Sorted now...thanks. I'll post the fixed version sometime today.

Thanks BT,
I can't quit what I don't have!

Thank you Peter.

Sounds good. I don't know if this is the final product, but it could be. You write good, interesting songs. Good use of the band. I too have to wait until I get the house alone before I can really belt one out - or I have to retreat to my car.

Good one here.

Thanks jptX3,
It's not done...needs some tweaking ...possibly comp the multitrack vox into a single? THEN it'd be off to the M.E.

Hi Ray,

Finally I hear your vocals as they should be in terms of volume and brightness. A shame you have hidden them for so long!
They sound good (enough) and that helps the melody enormously. Maybe in future songs you can skip the doubles in the verses. That make the chorusses sound great(er) in my humble opinion.
But very well done! This is how I like future Ray-songs!!!

Hans

Ray, we always love your thought provoking writes and enjoy reading the lyric again and again.

All the songs reaped the rewards of your "free to shout" session and we hope you can arrange more of those.

The lead and harmonies sound good and we especially liked the arrangement of the voices on the end of "You Seem Alien to Me."

Your instrumental performances as well as the RT choices sound ace to us.

Enjoyed them all!

J&B

Your vocal sounds just fine!

I liked the mix and backing tracks.

Two thumbs up

Ray, it's like the difference between night and day! Your vocal sound great to me! Once again, I really love that chorus! It really stays with the listener for a while! Thanks, Torrey

Ray,

I not only like the vocal a lot, I like the way it is blended. This is really good. I genuinely enjoyed this.

Thanks Hans,
They've been hidden becasue they weren't up to scratch.
The vocals will be thinned as I'm in the processing of "comping" the best parts into one track.

Thanks J&B,
having and taking the chance with these songs is great because I'll be able to "stick a fork" in them sooner rather than later.
Such opportunities will be few & far between for the next six months or so.
Still, plenty happening to keep me busy.

PHANQUE Mario,
you're very kind.

Thank you Torrey,

Basically the chorus melody is, as you can hear: root, 5th, root then semitone shift down, semi tone shift down to start again.
I prefer an excellent voice wielded by a passionate performer, such as yourself but needs must.

Thanks David,
A bit of Phil Spector, (without the pistol), stacked vocals helps the weak voiced like me.

Hi Rayc,

The sound of your guitars reminds me of shadows. Your voice is well mixed and fits perfectly with the instruments. Your sequence of chords is always interesting because out of the ordinary. Well done. I appreciated.

kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackflash

Yes, this sounds really good. As others have commented, there is nothing wrong with the vocal. Hitting the bottom of your range? I like your harmony.

Thanks JJF,
A bit of AC30 tone & a spring reverb can do wonders.

Bottom of my range & bucket I suspect.
Thanks ES.

You are making very good progress in that endeavor, Ray. These vocals sound far better than anything synthetic. And you're mixing them up front where they belong.