Hello Folks,
the vocals are pre comping & tuning.
BIAB supplied the drums, RealDrums in style:RockHard^03-a:Open Hat, Snare, b:Ride, Snare
(may need some variety in the B sections)
Written & structured in BIAB and tracked with the DAW plug in telling where n when to do things.
Bass is a Hofner knock off through a BDI21
Guitar is a Squire Bullet Mustang through a Marshall Superbass with some fuzz used with the "lead".
Tracked n mixed in Reaper as usual...everything is as usual I suppose.

March 23

Here's a slightly tidier version - I've used the 1st vocal to reduce the confusion.
I've also upped the bass drum definition a bit.
Otherwise the same I suppose BUT less of a mud fight and the melody is a little clearer.

March24

New vocals - not comped yet.

Lyric:
INTRO
verse 1
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 still do these things
5 still say these things?
5 Am I too old now?

chorus 1
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I know
4 The more I show
6 That more or less
3 No more can I
4 Keep sitting still
3 (I) have to know
3 (I) have to grow
3 (I) have to sow

verse 2
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 want to be heard
5 still say the word?
5 Am I too old now?

chorus 2
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I speak
4 The more I tweak
6 That more or less
3 The more I throw
4 I can't sit still
3 The overflow
3 To foreshadow
3 Both friend and foe

verse 3
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 still make a noise
5 still play these toys?
5 Am I too old now?
4 Should I stop?

solo

chorus 4
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I see
4 Hyperbole
6 That more or less
3 The more I go
4 Not standing still
3 (I) have to taste
3 (I) will not waste
3 (I) am in haste


chorus 5
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I fight
4 Against the night
6 That more or less
3 No more is best
4 Not lying still
3 Before I die
3 And putrefy
3 It's clear that I Won't


ANY and all comments, suggestions, castigation and passive aggressive expositions welcome and wanted.

Hey, I love that ending, with the frenzied little drum bit in the coda. And the spirit of the lyric is awesome, big big points for using "putrify" and even rhyming it.

Otherwise, trying to make sense of my own listening reactions...

This kind of goes on in, as you say, a grumbly way that is recognizably melodic but doesn't really sound it. I think it might work better sung higher up. Or as a duet with Lady Gaga. I want to hear that melody because I know it's there.

Looking forward to future developments.

ray,

Don't Ever Stop.
Someone still needs to cry the truth.
The toys still work well.

A good balance in the mix.
Drums are Cool! (do they include that snare-on-every-beat? or did you have to build that?)
A terrific guitar sound across the field. Solid.
Bass is crisp and punchy.
Good vocals (some nice "anger" - though they could use even more...).

A cool, thought-provoking write.

Never Stop.

fj

Oooh.. we like this kind of song!
Maybe there are a some very low notes you'd better sing a tiny little bit higher
But that's all, we enjoyed this one very much.

Rob and Anne-Marie

This version seemed to flow better for me. What a difference a day makes!

For some reason I hear a chorus of schoolboys joining in.

Hi, Ray.

To my "too old" ears, the vocal sounds a bit low and difficult to make out.

Love the sound and vocals.

Thanks mark,
I've retracked to try to get the shambolic "melody" a bit clearer for you.

Thanks Floyd,
The drums are straight from the box with some added seasoning only. I do think I need to break up the relentless chorus snare though...just a little.
I've retracked vocals a little more aggressively but I couldn't manage "angry"....must be years of talking with children...the clearly hostile aspects have been removed.

Thanks Rob n Anne-Marie,
Yes, I was auditioning for Pancake Day on a quite a few notes.

AND another day bloc-head...I hope. Thanks.

Interesting idea but it made me think of that odious Pink Floyd Wall single so I'll have to pass...that was elite young men being curmudgeonly before their time.

dc,
Thanks, I THINK the latest mix may have addressed that issue.

Listened to each one and I really enjoy the constant improvement. Of course the last one I listened to twice so far. Yes, your voice is perfect out front like that. Right from the title I knew it would be a treat. You know I'd love that aggressive bass. It makes the song [as often a bass will ]

I listened to the latest one

I was not to old to thoroughly enjoy it

I liked the groove and your vocal

The mix was great as were the lyrics

Two thumbs up

Currently playing "New vocals - not comped yet."

That opening STOP is absolutely killer, a vocal firecracker that does just the opposite of what it says, kicks off a super-energized piece that totally lives up to its promise. This thing is great, please mix and serve!

Hi Ray,

I think I prefered your former songs more. Here you are hiding your vocals again behind the instruments.
That's a pity, because the lyrics deserve a brighter and louder voice and -for me- even harmonics or doubles.
The band is also not really expressive. No instrument claimed attention.
If I may give this song a color, it would be close to grey.
Sorry for this and I fear I make you angry, but because I've heard many good sounding songs from you, I know you can do better, much better.
But... I only heard March 24 and not the previous one.

And yes, I liked the lyrics, brought like a machinegun!

When do we drink a rum together?
Hans

The latest version is excellent. A truly cohesive mix. All the parts blend perfectly into "a sound" - a good one.
Stick a fork in it.

fj

The vocal definitely sounds better on the March 25 version. It was difficult to make it out in the March 24 version. My ears are terrible but the instrument appears much better too and I can make out the individual instruments. I like the song and the ending. which made my tinnitus disappear temporarily.

Ray,
Sweet! Excellent job on putting this together. Last one is the winner for me. I would just complete it, using same setting and call it done. It does sound good. It is your call of course, but I would not put vocals deeper in the mix. They are in a good position. Don't overthink it
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Liking the March 24 & the New vocals versions.

Some in your face drive going on there.

Pretty deep arrangement.

moto

Ray

Listened to the latest one a really strong sounding song. I think it's one of your best vocals more up front and assertive.

Excellent driving sound and a good overall mix.

Loved the feedback at the end.

Peter

verse 3
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 still make a noise
5 still play these toys?
5 Am I too old now?
4 Should I stop?

chorus 5
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I fight
4 Against the night
6 That more or less
3 No more is best
4 Not lying still
3 Before I die
3 And putrefy
3 It's clear that I Won't

We liked it all but the above are our favs. As long as the wheels are turning don't stop. With us it is literally and figuratively with the bike riding.

"the clearly hostile aspects have been removed"
Really?

Fine performance Ray on the axe, "Hofner" and vocals. Man, does that bass ever cut perfectly.

Good one!

J&B

rayc,

Listened to the latest version I think (New Vocals—not comped yet), and like what I’m hearing very much. That driving, pounding drum is fantastic. The mix is solid and, for me, the vocals are sitting right where they should. Cool little punk rock tune—well done!

All my best,

Deej

Hi Ray.

Wow!

I love that opening... the "STOP" is brilliant!

The driving rhythm really races along with a ton of energy. I'm pretty sure that anyone who listens to this would be hypnotized by feeling of that the backing creates.

Great arrangement and presentation.

This genre is one that I have little experience in. That said, I'd love to be able to come up with song like this. You've done an awesome job!

All the best,
--Noel

The bass is my knock off Hofner with a Klon clone ITB for some grit.
Thanks for your kind words Marty.

Thanks Mario,
a quick exercise to move me on from psych noodling and to make some Marshall noise.
It was a fun & easy thing as you can hear.

Hello Hans,
for my money the vocals are far too forward and the inadequacies exposed but there ya go...differences don't have to make distances.
Grey - not actually a colour but a tone - is good: aged hair, laden clouds, silent movies, old newsprint, fading photos...at least it's not gun metal.
Is grey the metaphor of the expectations of age pummelled into a torrent of black water with a whining codger on top? I don't know - perhaps, maybe?
Bass, drums, one guitar left, one right, an accent gtr & organs nearer the middle and no battle for dominance..but a cohort marching to the last resort?
The whole thing is a quick n easy unlike a good O.P. rum meant to be sipper n savoured.
Sadly I've been a teetotaller for a quarter of a century now.

Temporary relief from Tinnitus - if only it could be stretched a little. Ringing isn't an accurate enough verb to become an adjective to describe it.
Yes, I agree the retracking for the 25th made significant gains.
Thanks!

Drive without overdrive (except on the bass) - the beauty of a Marshall 100watt head.
Thanks.

I agree with your good self and FJ that the fork should be in play BUT there's one option I have to explore before taking this bun from the oven.

"Don't overthink it :)" hmmm, if only.
Thanks Misha.

Feedback is our friend!
Thanks Peter,
The swap from Wiggles vocal to assertive vocal required an empty house.

Thank you very much B & J.
Yes, do until you can't and then do it some more.

Thanks Deej,
The drums are almost straight from BIAB...I did some EQ for more snare and less cymbal sizzle then sent the signal from that to a parallel track with a low pass at about 1k so I had more meat.

It all started with stops & holds in BIAB.
Having worked at 80bpm for a couple of three songs I needed to rev a little.
I'm pleased you like it Noel.
Thanks.

You played this with a pic, right? Do you always?

Well Ray, I'm very glad you didn't cancel me (yet). And I liked your reply a lot, except the last line...

Hi rayc,

beautiful suite of chords always well thought out. The whole is pleasant. Well done.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JniJackFlash

Cool tune Ray. Guitars vocal and bass work were excellent. Well done

Pick, fingers, thumb as required by the song but pick for this and most fast stuff.

Thanks JJJ,
Yet another excursion in A.

Thanks Scott.