A new song with BAIB. with my own lyrics(Not very good with lyrics!.... so be kind)

https://soundcloud.com/robert-henry-843621731/there-was-a-time-vocal

The style used:- SWABBIE.STY. Swabbie Autoharp Folk Waltz

Bass Real 1122 Bass, Acoustic, Country Waltz Swing 110
Drums Real Drums Gypsy Jazz Waltz Swing
Piano Real 2709 Autoharp, Rhythm Old Time Slow Waltz Swing 085
Guitar Real 3176 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Campfire Slow Waltz Swing 085
Strings Real 2054 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Country Waltz Brent Swing 110

EZkeys was used to create a piano part.

Vocaloid "AMY" was used as the singer.

lyrics

There was a time, we were together
Our lives were in sync
but now it feels we’ve grown apart
Nothing I do, seems pleasing for you
My love, my lover

There were moments, so precious
We were inseparable. We were so in love
We were so in love, but now it’s all changed
Worlds apart

I want my lover, the man, the man,
you once were to me
Please, oh please, be that man again
be that loving man for me

Oh!.. how I miss those good precious times
Togetherness. Hands in hands
walking by the beach, in love
as lovers, lovers do

now there are distances between us
how did we get here
when did we drifted so far apart

There was a time, we were together
Our lives were in sync
but now it feels we’ve grown apart
Nothing I do, seems pleasing for you
My love, my lover

There was a time, we were one
There was a time, we were together

That was a pleasant listen.

I'm not sure what kind of recommendations or advice you are seeking regarding the song itself. So I will simply say.... nice job.

Robert,

I think you've made the Vocaloid sing a sweet melody!

Rob

Robert,

Very pretty arrangement . . . and it’s a well-written song with a nice melody that fall soft on the ears. For me, the vocaloid, while mostly effective, is a bit tinny (high-end) and I would have liked some warmth on it . . . so maybe play a bit with the EQ (though I think a live singer, if available to you, might be the better option for a song as pretty as this). From an arrangement perspective, I think the song may benefit from more of an intro before the vocal begins. But apart from those nits, it’s a lovely song and a nice mix. Well done!

All my best,

Deej

Hi Robert,

Not sure about the Vocaloid - it is extremely sibilant.

I know you have a good voice - how about giving it a go.

Best Regards
Nigel

Hi Robert,
First off very nice music and lyric. I have songs that have the same progression (different than yours of course) throughout. In a critique i had gotten with one of my songs was. Again this is my song i speak about as a reference to think about. I was told by the person doing the critique they felt my song felt redundant to them. They told me to listen to my song from their point of view saying that what they heard was (Nice) but the feeling never changes so i took their advice and changed some things. An example of this is changing the dynamics so it builds to a chorus. Intro's ,solo's & bridges etc. are things that helped me as i thought about what if anything i wanted to change.
I also learned critiques are one opinion so take what you can use at any given time and disregard the rest because you ultimately are the one who needs to be happy with your work!

Lovely tune Robert. excellent listen. Well done

very nice song.

while listening, even tho' the vocaloid is nice....
i was wondering if a female vocalist would really have a lovely impact on the song. just an idea cos its such a nice waltz.

happiness

om

Nice melody with a melancholic feel to match the sentiment of the lyrics. Instrumentation is a good fit.

I enjoyed your song. The vocal was very pretty, but I'm not crazy about the artifacts. If I was going suggest anything, it would be to consider making the different sections of the song a bit more distinct. Any way, nice job!

Thank you all for all your encouraging and constructive comments. For those of you who suggested I should try and follow a solid structure ie: Verse Chorus Verse Bridge etc. Normally I would have followed such format. As I was developing the song, It felt more like going into a free form structure as the words were coming through. Guess If I wanted to spend a little more time, I would Have made it the necessary changes. But, as I was progressing very quickly with the progression. I was liking it more and more as it was. It felt so different to the norm, enough to make it kind of "unique"
I guess it was not meant to follow those strict rules.
As to using "Vocaloids" for my songs!... I don't have easy access to proper singers who would do me the honours of singing for me. So my thinking is that.... If there is a singer out here who finds my compositions interesting enough to have a crack at singing it. then please let me know if they would be willing to DM me for a possible collaboration!.....
As for "ME" doing the singing!.................Err!... Maybe not... I definitely do not have a singing voice!.....So I will pass on that idea.

Thank you all.