Been for way too long away from this amazing forum. How is everyone? From glancing at the forum list of songs, extremely productive, it seems :-) - good :-) Hope you are all good, happy and healthy :-)

Here's one more from me - all feedback welcome. Thanks for listening, and thank you PG Music once more.


Perhaps


LYRICS:

Perhaps I believed in you too much
Perhaps I longed too long for your touch
I thought our love would bridge time and space ...
Perhaps I was too in love with your kind face ...

For sure, I know that I've been e'er so much a fool
For sure, I know I would have broken every rule
To have you hide into my arms once more,
For sure, I simply must now close this door ...

And yet, when I remember what we had
I wish there was another ending, not so sad,
To all our hugs and all our tears, to all that we did share ...
Perhaps it was just a dream that you did care ...

Perhaps I did believe in you too much
Perhaps I did long for too long for one more touch ...
I did, however, think we would beat time and space ...
What a fool I've been ... and yet I'll love you all of my days.


THE BAND:

****** Song Summary *************
Title: Perhaps - 18 November 2022
File:Perhaps - 18 November 2022.SGU
Key=A , Tempo 80, Length (m:s)=3:12
No intro. 60 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 60. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Style is _PLEA.STY (Plea Southern Soul Ballad)

RealTracks in style: 1398:Bass, Electric, Soul70sA-B Ev16 100
RealTracks in style: 2692:Organ, Rhythm ModernPopSlowMike Ev 075
RealTracks in style: 873:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernRnBRockFunkyOffbeat Ev 065
RealTracks in style: 3331:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzyPop16thsMark Ev16 080
RealDrums in style:SouthernPop16RnB^07-a:Hat, Sidestick, b:Ride, Snare2

*******************

Voice recorded and mixed in Mixcraft Pro Studio 9, with compressor, EQ and mastering preset effects.

Hi there, musician 17.
You seem to be speaking the lyric so it's hard to imagine a melody.
Maybe that's the style you want so that's fine.
Could you introduce a little variation on the music though?

Vic

I'll certainly give it another listen and see what I can do, Vic! My thinking was that the song was kinda short, and the lyrics kinda similar and on the same theme, in themselves, so why vary the music any more than I already did (or tried to, at least)? But ... I'll certainly listen again with this in mind! Thanks for a kind and honest suggestion :-)

Hi, James.

The balance seems a bit off - the vocal is a bit bassy, and the backing too far in the back.

Without a melodic line, it feels to me like the lyric comes to an end, but the backing just keeps going, without having noticed the speaking part is done.

Not bad, just not my cup of tea. Your vocal recording technique has certainly gotten better!

Hello James,

I very glad you found your way to this forum again.
I also remember you promised to make more joyful songs, but luckily you sticked to the sad ones. This I also wrote to you (if I were you).
Your lyrics are as nice as ever in this kind of songs. One can feel what pain is in them.

But I also have to agree with other posters here, that there is something with the balance of the song. It started at 0:58 (or about).
There the organ and the rest of the band had 'an internal' problem on the course of the song. David said somewhat the same.
Maybe you can try some more variation in the melody and even a break somewhere, to make the song more interesting.
The sound of the song and your vocals have improved a lot!

Hans

Hi, James. I was forming a search party for you. Now I can invite you to the party. I've played some of your music to friends, and everyone loves it. You have a unique sound and approach. Even though you more speak the lyrics, I can always hear a melody. Welcome back, and this is another musician17 gem. Thanks. [I'm now listening to Mercy, so I'll be at hearthis.at/james-delsono if you're looking for me.]

I try to be honest.
My thinking was that the lyrics were fine. Didn't need much musically but a simple variation would add interest. Maybe just use a simple piano and another instrument for fills.
Less is more sometimes.

Vic

I like the grove and instrumentation.

I think many of us can identify with the lyrics at one time or another in our lives.

Another good one, James. The instrumentation works, the organ & strings.

James,
You have many shades of sad reflection in your songs and familiar listeners will find the melody suggested by your unique vocal style.
On this song I think your vocal is a little far forward of the band, which, to my ears, is playing in a more cheerful mood than the lyric... perhaps that`s your intention?


Robert

Good to hear from you James. Excellent lyric and vocal delivery. Well done

David Cuny: I know that this kind of spoken voice stuff isn't exactly your cup of tea, so thank you so much for listening anyway. I'll have another look at the balance - thanks for highlighting that, others have also done that, so ... thanks again! :-)

Hans: thanks. Variation is key - in the style of songs that I write, as well as many other musical things. So yes - I will revisit the song, whenever I get a bit of time, and see how I could improve it. Thanks so much for listening!!! and I still hope to write different kinds of songs (in view of "variation", haha), also, in future!

Marty: you invariably make me smile with your comments, and this was no exception. No search party needed just yet, haha ... thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for ever so nicely playing my little experiments to your friends! Way too kind!!! I note you have a newly-posted song out, so that's where I'm heading next, myself :-)

Vic: yes, I think you have a point. I wrote this song in a shorter timespan than usually, so I may have (however inadvertently) not been as careful with it as with some of my other ones. I will re-visit it! Thanks again for the honesty, it really is appreciated.

Ezekiel's Storm: thanks. Yes, most of us have been there, right? :-)

Ed: thank you ever so much!

Robert: yes, the balance is almost for sure in need of a re-visit. Yes, I did want a more cheerful backtrack than the lyrics, but only if it does work. If not, that needs re-visiting, too ... but I do think I'll keep it thus for now? I'll see :-) Thank you ever so much for taking the time to listen and comment!

Scott C: thank you so much for listening to, and for commenting on, one more of my songs :-) Really appreciated!!!

Hi James, welcome back. I liked the feel of this song and I also liked the stereo effects you had going.

Hi James,

A sweet, but sad song.
We agree with the others, that the music should be a bit louder, or the vocals a bit softer (or both)
But it's nice anyway.
Nowadays they would call it "spoken word". Accompanied by music.
You're good at it.

Rob and Anne-Marie

James,
another good one.
Longing & long actually worked out well...I'm impressed.
I did find "...in love with your kind face" was an odd choice as it doesn't match the ardour of the rest of the lyric.
Good band, good reading and good mix.

Brad: thank you.

Rob and Anne-Marie: thanks! I need to find a few minutes, just to rebalance the audio, absolutely! :-)

Ray: thanks. You have a point about the lyric, it didn't even cross my mind when I wrote it, I was too busy looking for a viable rhyme, haha. You're always very kind and encouraging in your feedback - thank you. Take good care.

Lyrics were moving and oh, so easy to relate to (at least for me). Nice job on this one.

Thanks, TuneMonger :-)

Robert stated it so well, "You have many shades of sad reflection in your songs and familiar listeners will find the melody suggested by your unique vocal style."

Many shades indeed and while some lyrics ask one to connect the dots you have a way of delivery that offers the listener an opportunity to connect the melody dots.

At any given time my wife has about 3.6 zillion melodies in her head so she can assuredly connect those dots.

Good band too!

Bud

James
An excellent band
A good write
Well recorded vocal
Mix sounds good
One of your best I think

fj

Bud: thank you. It's ever so nice to find that my little musical experiments are enjoyed by other people, too! I keep saying I will sing, in future - and I have done, occasionally! - but ... for now, I'll let people connect the melodic dots, instead, haha. Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and comment!

floyd: thank you. Didn't expect praise to that extent :-) I'm so glad you enjoyed it!