is there any software (midi or audio),or biabv\rb feature, that will display the intervals i'm playing or display a mdi file as intervals

i'm thinking this will help with interval recognition

Best help for Interval Recognition is the Band in a Box Ear Trainer.

Check it out, the settings in there can let you start with a fixed Root and intervals only one direction at a time, as you get better you can change those settings gradually until you are able to ace all intervals up and down, even outside of one octave, with a different Root every time (AND every setting in between).

Ten minutes a day with the BB Interval Trainer and my average student is icing them inside of a month, typically.

--Mac

On the topic of interval training - I'm looking for a bunch of great song references against which to memorize them. Have any of you run across any websites that give such suggestions ?

Yes, such a list does exist - I've seen it - so you should be able to Google it. Maria is the tritone example.

EarMaster is good and there is a free trial. There are set excersises or you can customise and they start basic and can get as advanced as you wish.
They also have lists of song intervals see their forum

This may be off topic,but Ralph Patt has nice jazz web page with a interesting approach.