You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#139906 - 12/09/11 03:56 PM [User Showcase] New Song, need advise
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted my last song here. Here's one with little to no Biab involved. I could need some advise though: as non-native english speaker it's always difficult to write fitting lyrics. Anyway: enjoy!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=665106&songID=7192660

Cheers,

Superbron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top
#139907 - 12/12/11 10:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: Superbron]
Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
mglinert Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
Thoughtful piece, SuperBron in what is a new genre for you.

The main problem here regarding the lyric is that your phrasing pattern pretty well thoughout the song is x/X/x i.e. three sylables with the accent (further emphasized by the rising melody) falling on the second of the three.

You must then choose lyrics which fit this pattern.

Some of your lines do:
(‘this planet ‘,‘let's break with’, ‘traditions’, ‘stop toxic’, ‘emissions’)

..but other do not, and these sound forced, awkward, clumsy.. (‘we call Earth’, ‘is the place’, ‘of our birth’, ‘poisoning’)

Regards,

Marc
_________________________
Marc's SoundCloud
Marc's SoundClick

Top
#139908 - 12/13/11 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: mglinert]
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi Marc,

Thanks for listening and your advise. It's indeed new terrain and I think you nailed the problem I have with this song. It's very hard for a non-native english speaker to get the emphasizes (is this correct?) right. Can you let me know of all lines which are correct and which are not? Thanks in advance.

Cheers,

Bron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top
#139909 - 12/14/11 02:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: Superbron]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 12400
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 12400
Loc: Hamlin NY
Welcome back Superbron!

Yes, the correct word is emphasizes and while I do agree with Marc I don’t think you were that far off. I think it sounds like it does more because of the rising melody. Is there anyway you can cut the volume, maybe by velocity if midi, on that?

Also why not sing it in your native language? Sing it that way and see how the emphasis comes out. Then if you want to sing it in English you have something to compare it to. Just a thought!

You have come a long way in your song writing and production skills!
_________________________
If you answer the phone with "Hello, you're on the air" most telemarketers will quickly hang up!

64 bit Win 10 Pro - the latest BiaB and RB - Roland Octa-Capture audio interface - a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#139910 - 12/16/11 08:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: MarioD]
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi MarioD,

Thanks for listening and your advise. I will try writing some lyrics in Frisian (my native language) of Dutch which I am very familiar with as well.

Cheers,

Superbron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top


PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac New Features Video!

Want to learn all about the new features in our just-released Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac? Check out our latest video:
Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac®! New! All 64 bit program, VST/AU 64 bit plugin, 202 RealTracks & more!

Jump to the feature you'd like to learn about the most by choosing from the table of contents, listed in the video description, or here.

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac - Upgrade Today and Save Up To 50%!

Just released: Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac with 64+ new features (64-bit!!!!), 202 New RealTracks, 40 Unreleased RealTracks, 10 "Low Man" and Re-amped "12-Key" Metal/Thrash Electric Guitar RealTracks, "Look Ma! More MIDI!" – 30 MIDI Styles, 12 new MIDI SuperTracks, 240 new Instrumental Studies, 18 new Artist Performances, and a new Xtra Styles PAK 7!

We're having a SALE on Band-in-a-Box® 2019 Upgrade purchases until October 15, 2019 - save UP TO 50% when you purchase your Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac Upgrade!

We've packed our Free Bonus PAK & 49-PAK with some amazing Add-ons! The Free Bonus PAK is automatically included with most Band-in-a-Box® for Mac 2019 packages, but for more even more Add-ons (including 40 Unreleased RealTracks) upgrade it to the 2019 49-PAK for only $49. You can see the full lists of items in each package, and listen to demos here.

Check out our packages page for all the purchase options available, or visit this discussion on our Band-in-a-Box® for Mac forum.

Video - 202 NEW RealTracks for Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac!

With the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac we also released 202 NEW RealTracks (in Sets 301-328)!

Listen to all the individual demos here, or watch our Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac - 202 New RealTracks Overview Video here

Get all 202 new RealTracks when you purchase any Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition, or the PlusPAK upgrade, on sale until October 15th!

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac - 49 Requests Fulfilled!

49 of your Problems solved? List of 49 Requests fulfilled in Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac.

With Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac there are a lot of new features, 202 RealTracks, and more. We get ideas for the new features and new RealTracks from our users. There are several sources, our Wishlist and general forum, support phone calls, trade shows, etc. In most cases, customers are not describing a new feature – they are describing a problem they have that they would like to have solved.

Here is a list of our features and additions in Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac, presented from a unique perspective. It is from this customer list of "problems they would like solved." These are not exact quotes, they are paraphrased from our discussions with our customers. They explain what problems and requests they discussed with us, that resulted in the various new features and RealTracks. Hopefully this answers the question "Why did you add this feature/content?"

So, without further ado, here are the 49 requests/problems that we (hopefully) have solved with the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2019. We hope that many of them are relevant to you as well. And please keep suggesting new ones, we appreciate that.

Q. Almost all of my music apps are 64 bit, as is my Mac OS. But Band-in-a-Box® is 32 bit. And Apple's next OS, Catalina 10.15 is set to be released in October 2019 (the beta is available now), and that won't even run 32-bit apps! Can you make a 64 bit version?
A. Yes, we’ve done this with Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac. The app is 64 bit and the executable name is still Band-in-a-Box®.app (if you have an older 32-bit version it will get automatically renamed during the install to Band-in-a-Box®-32bit.app ).

Q. I have 64 bit plugins that I want to use with Band-in-a-Box®. But they only work with 64 bit apps. Can I use them with Band-in-a-Box® 2019, without having to use any special software for this?
A. Yes, 64 bit Plugins work natively with the 64 bit version of Band-in-a-Box® 2019. This means you can use your 64 bit plugins, including ones that use huge amounts of memory (more than 2GB).

Q. Does Band-in-a-Box® 2019 work on the latest OS, Catalina 10.15, as that has many changes?
A. Yes, Band-in-a-Box® 2019 is 64-bit and runs great on Catalina (and older OS's down to and including 10.6.8 Snow Leopard)

Q. I like Snow Leopard as an OS (10.6.8), will Band-in-a-Box® 2019 still run on that with all features working?
A. Yes, Band-in-a-Box® 2019 64 bit version runs great on older OS's including Snow Leopard, and has identical features and operation to the newer OS's

See the full list here!

Xtra Styles PAK 7 for Mac is Here!

Xtra Styles PAK 7 for Mac is here! These work with the RealTracks & RealDrums in your Band-in-a-Box® 2019 UltraPAK, UltraPAK+ or Audiophile, and are a GREAT addition to your Band-in-a-Box® resources!

Listen to all the great new RealStyles in Xtra Styles PAK 7 for Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac: click here

Xtra Styles PAK 7 and all the Xtra Styles PAKs from 1 thru 6 are on sale for only $29 each during our Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac special! Learn more...

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac is HERE!

Attention Mac users...Band-in-a-Box® 2019 is HERE! https://www.pgmusic.com/bbmac.htm

There are 64 new features, including our brand-new 64-bit version of Band-in-a-Box®, which works well with the latest plugins and 64-bit OS features! There's also a new 64-bit VST/AU/AAX Plugin of Band-in-a-Box, which you can use inside your favorite DAW (GarageBand, Logic, Reaper, Pro Tools, Digital Performer, Ableton, PreSonus, etc.) to generate styles, RealTracks, RealDrums, Multi-Riffs, etc... AND SO MUCH MORE!

Watch our Band-in-a-Box® 2019 - Everything you need to know in under 6 minutes! video to see the new version in action!
Click here to watch...

PLUS... During our Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Mac release, we're offering some AMAZING upgrade pricing - save up to 50% on most upgrades! Plus, we have a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons FREE! You can upgrade it to the 2019 49-PAK to receive even more NEW Add-ons including up 40 additional RealTracks... that's 242 NEW RealTracks!

Band-in-a-Box® packages: click here

Bonus PAKs: click here

Xtra Styles PAK 7 Demos

Listen to all the great new RealStyles in Xtra Styles PAK 7 for Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows!

Xtra Styles PAK 7 and all the Xtra Styles PAKs from 1 thru 6 are on sale for only $29 each until September 15th! Learn more.

Forum Stats
30041 Members
62 Forums
59995 Topics
505099 Posts

Max Online: 2434 @ 11/14/17 12:37 AM
Newest Members
Jakeagle, RayBo, gilouleloulou, Vernman, Martin Gail

30040 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
Icelander 309
zedd 206
JayO 183
RayL 181
Janice & Bud 178
Deryk - PG Music 138
PeterGannon 133
Noel96 133
Gitarman1 107
Ember - PG Music 104
Today's Birthdays
mgbchuck, WienSam