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#148948 01/30/12 09:27 PM
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Rob4580 Offline OP
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Hey all just listed another original.
All comments welcome. Written with BB real tracks.

Many thanks Rob.

Sound Cloud

Rob4580 #148949 01/30/12 10:16 PM
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Rob,

Very nice! I love your voice on this one. A little bit of a Roy Orbison feel. Well written song. Good tempo. Good instrumentation. Good arrangement.

Now for my nits. Remember only my opinions and others may disagree...

I would have added one more measure to the intro. I know that makes it a 5 bar intro, and that's a little odd. But the first 3 bars are sustain chords with snare and bass carrying the beat. Then when it settles into the actual strumming guitar foundation of the song with sidestick pattern you start the vocals after only one measure. I think one more measure of strumming and sidestick would make for a more comfortable start of the song. It's a very short song so one more bar won't hurt at all.

Another thing I would change is the ritard at the end. The slow down of the last 2 bars sounds too mechanical and would probably work better without slowing down at all. Again just my opinion.

I really like the song and your lead vocals really shine on this one!

Thanks for posting this one!

Steve


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You're a natural, my friend! I suspect you've been playing music for a while now haven't you? What a mellow voice, I'm so envious!

My take on the intro was that it's a bit different than one might expect, but I thought it worked. I like hearing the unexpected in music like this. It keeps me interested.

My only nitpick is the the song ended abruptly ... could have been faded to a full silence instead of to a partial silence then BAM.. no more song.

But that's a small thing and easily fixed. All in all I liked your song quite a bit.

Pat Marr #148951 02/02/12 04:08 AM
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Hello to Steve and Pat.
Thanks for your kind coments guys.

To Steve thanks for the idea of the longer intro.
when I listened back I did notice the bass line was a little out of sinc from what it should have been. So a longer intro may set that right.

To Pat.
Yes I have been playing a while.
Its a hobby I use to get away from things for a while.

Its even better if you can share it with others.
I take on board all the advice you guys offer.

I intend to post some more tunes as I write and mix them.

Thanks for your encouragement.
It goes way further than you may think.

Regards to all Rob

Rob4580 #148952 02/05/12 05:07 AM
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Nice tune Iron Bark Bob ,thanks for sharing !

Tommyc #148953 02/05/12 05:32 AM
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Roy or Elvis?

Anywho, I enjoyed the song.

I Didn't notice a problem with the opening; the abrupt ending needs a fix though. Did you tell BIAB to use a 4-bar ending in the 'Song Settings' dialog? May be as simple as that.

I like the slowdown at the end, though it does sound a wee bit forced; more of a "rallentando" than a "ritardando". Try using the 'Bar Settings' dialog to spread the tempo change out over a few more bars.

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Hi Rob, This is a very good song.

I had no problem with the intro but with a little polish the ending might be improved, although it isn’t too bad as it stands now.

I would suggest that you bring up your vocals just a tad. You have a fantastic voice, I’m jealous, so it should be more out front IMHO.

Great job and two thumbs up.


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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