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#180142 - 11/24/12 01:25 AM [User Showcase] New Song: "Jamaican Moon"
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi all,

A little earlier this year, I put together an internet forum for myself and a few friends to work through Andrea Stolpe's book, Popular Lyric Writing: 10 Steps To Effective Storytelling. It's one of my top three favourite songwriting books and uniquely unlike any other songwriting book on the market. The four week long writing challenge proved to be very productive all of us. This is one of the songs I wrote using only her principles.

... Jamaican Moon (on Vimeo)


Please feel free to comment on any aspect of the song: words, music, arrangement, mix, etc.

The song is all Realtracks, Realdrums and me singing. It was written in BIAB, had instruments adjusted in RB and finally mixed in Reaper.

Best regards,
Noel

P.S. If anyone is interested, below is a link to Andrea's book at the Book Depository.

... link to Andrea's book

<span style="color:green">BAND IN BOX INFORMATION<!--color--></span>

Style: _JFNKPOP.STY (JazzFunkPoppyRhythmSectn [110RS])

RealTracks: 1434:Bass, Electric, JazzFunkPoppy Ev16 110
RealTracks: 1639:Piano, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezy Ev16 075
RealTracks: 1637:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyChords Ev16 075
RealTracks: 1638:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyMuted Ev16 075

RealDrums: BossaRockFull^1-a:HiHat , b:Ride


Edited by Andrew - PG Music (01/19/17 01:30 PM)

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#180143 - 11/24/12 06:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 1185
Loc: Scotland
George Nelson Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 1185
Loc: Scotland
Hi Noel,

Could you please insert the Lyrics for this song so that we may learn from you.

I like the Caribbean sound of your song.

Best regards
George
_________________________
Windows 10 Pro 64 bit, Biab 2020 720, Realband 2020 5
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory


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#180144 - 11/24/12 07:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: George Nelson]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi George,

Thank you for having listen! As soon as I get a chance, I'll do a bit of analysis on my lyrics and post them so that you and others can see how I went about things. That won't be for a little while, though, because I'm drowning in work right at this point in time.

All the best,
Noel

P.S. I've just sent you a private message, too.
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180145 - 11/24/12 09:09 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Very relaxed and enjoyable listening.
You used my favourite RealTracks. They mix nicely
with the Bossa drums.

Guenter

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#180146 - 11/24/12 09:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: boehm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8349
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8349
Loc: Florida
Noel - what a wonderful "sound" on this. the tracks are great. your vocals are quite nice and the harmonies are a delight. excellent mix. enjoyed listening. great job.

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#180147 - 11/24/12 10:00 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/08/11
Posts: 3551
Tommyc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 01/08/11
Posts: 3551
Great Job! I love how the drums completely change the mood of the Funk tracks! Love the lyrics too!

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#180148 - 11/24/12 10:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Tommyc]
Registered: 08/13/09
Posts: 1859
Loc: Ireland
musiclover Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/13/09
Posts: 1859
Loc: Ireland
Very nice Noel, I love the upbeat intro, everything lyrics melody and video mix well together, as regards the video you couldn't have chosen better pics to use.

I like the way you go about your songwriting reading books on how to do it etc, and have saved a few of your posts on this in answer to Don Gaynor I believe.

What video software do you use Noel? I find that its one of the things I spend less time on as I use Muvee reveal, just add the pics and title and it does it all for me.


All the best,
Musiclover
_________________________
Musiclover

My music https://www.youtube.com/user/donegalprideofall

Windows 7 (32bit) and 10 (64bit) M-Audio Fast Track Pro,Band in a Box, and Cubase elements 10

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#180149 - 11/24/12 02:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: musiclover]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13953
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13953
Loc: Hamlin NY
Jamaican me happy with this one man

You almost captured the Caribbean feel here. I say almost because the only thing missing were the steel drums. But even without them this is a keeper.
_________________________
It has been a joy being quarantined with my wife. We've caught up on all the things I have done wrong in our 53 years of marriage!

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware.

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#180150 - 11/24/12 05:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: boehm]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi Guenter,

Thank you. I appreciate your giving me some of your time to have listen.

By the way, I've come to this post from just having listened to your latest (for the young at heart). It's yet another creative creation from you. I thoroughly enjoy your music.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180151 - 11/24/12 05:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi Floyd,

Thanks for the positive feedback! I'd like to say that I did all my own harmonies but I can't. I'm lazy. My good friend TC Helicon in RB did those for me. Got to hand it to him, he's a talented bit of software.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180152 - 11/24/12 05:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Tommyc]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi Tommy,

Thanks! The minute I heard the bossanova feel with the tracks I had, the mix fell into place. It's amazing how sometimes a single instrument can change the whole vibe of an arrangement!

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180153 - 11/24/12 05:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 4047
Loc: 80 Mi North of Sacramento CA
seeker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 4047
Loc: 80 Mi North of Sacramento CA
Noel,

This is second time I'm trying to comment,
Must have had the 'ole' brain f... and not completed post.

I really enjoyed your music, the vocals albeit emphasized
so nicely in several places, reflect a casual Caribbean feel.

Enjoyed the video aspects also, gives it the extra touch.

Thanks for sharing with us.
_________________________
FrankB

Down The Street vs2015 12-03-2014
Win7, AMD QuadA8-5500,16GB,2TeraHD, Komplete 10
PG Ultra Plus 2016,Alesis 12USB, Sonar Platinum

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#180154 - 11/24/12 05:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: musiclover]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi musiclover,

I appreciate your complimentary words. Thank you

Five or six years ago, I had no idea, whatsoever, how one writes lyrics. Melody and harmony were fine, but creating a satisfying lyrical journey to accompany my music completely eluded me. I started reading. Today I must have about 30 or more songwriting books (I've never counted them). I also started attending songwriting seminars. At last, I think it's starting to come together for me!

If it is of any use to you, the most valuable books in my library (and they're ones I keep re-reading over and over again) are the following.
  • Pat Pattison, Songwriting: Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure
  • Pat Pattison, Songwriting: Essential Guide to Rhyming
  • Pat Pattison, Writing Better Lyrics (2nd Ed.) (I couldn't be without this one!)
  • Andrea Stolpe, Popular Lyric Writing: 10 Steps to Effective Storytelling

    And to help me appreciate many of the subtleties in music (in relation to chord progressions, etc.) ...

  • Jai Josefs , Writing Music for Hit Songs

In my opinion, the above books are the only ones anyone needs. They are unique on the songwriting market and I find them invaluable. I worked through every exercise in each book! It was amazing what came from doing that.

Also, if you go to Pat Pattison' Homepage, you'll find a great deal of useful information under the links called "Lyric Tips" and "Videos".

For what it's worth, I usually buy my books through the BookDepository because the prices are good and they have free, worldwide delivery.

Regarding the videos: when I use still images, I assemble the video in Windows Live Movie Make (it's free and it has lots of great transition effects). When I put a movie together I use OpenShot Video Editor in Linux. It's opensource and, unlike Movie Maker, has multiple tracks. These allow me to blend images and movie clips.

All the best with your writing,
Noel

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#180155 - 11/24/12 06:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: MarioD]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
G'day Mario,

Thanks for the smile you've just given me

Would you believe it, I was so caught up in finding the right Realtracks and Realdrums that I didn't even think of steel drums!!!!! And I love steel drums! I guess my aging brain can only deal with a limited amount of things at any one time. I might go back and had a fiddle with some steel drums when I get a bit of time. Thank you for bringing those to my attention.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180156 - 11/24/12 06:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: seeker]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16572
Loc: Australia
Hi Frank!

I've got a brain like that too so I fully sympathise. Thank you for having a listen and for the uplifting comments I appreciate it.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#180157 - 11/25/12 09:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: MarioD]
Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6573
Loc: USA
Danny C. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6573
Loc: USA
Quote:

Jamaican me happy with this one man

You almost captured the Caribbean feel here. I say almost because the only thing missing were the steel drums. But even without them this is a keeper.




Really like this one also. My only issue is not with the song but because I think I am hearing everything Mario hears. Too often I am thinking what he just wrote.

Very cool song . . . now stop it Mario!

Later,
_________________________
Danny C.
www.dannycampo.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Danny-Campo/379776252109306?skip_nax_wizard=true

The More You Drink The Better I Sound

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#180158 - 11/25/12 11:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Danny C.]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4580
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4580
Great sounding track Noel, I love the harmonies too. I gotta go with Mario and Danny on the steel drums..... I'm gonna go put that on the wishlist for real tracks - wouldn't it be great to have REAL steel drums....

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#180159 - 11/26/12 08:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Sundance]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1067
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Online   content
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1067
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Noel, very "restful" in that caribbean kind of way! THe lyric "fits" the overall sense of the music. And I like how the vocal harmony was done just in the right place, the right way, to emphasize those lines.

I'll add my vote to the steel drum idea.

And a very cool video to boot!

Thanks for the info on the books as well.

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#180160 - 11/28/12 02:17 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Tano Music]
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2614
Loc: South Africa
JoanneCooper Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2614
Loc: South Africa
Very Nice Noel and thanks for all your tips on songwriting books. I am definitely going to be getting a few of those. I have just finished an 8 week songwriting course. I didn’t learn too much about melody or chord structure etc but I did learn some good tips about lyrics. The most important one for me was learning to cut out all the excess words! My songs were all far too wordy!

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#180161 - 11/28/12 10:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 391
jptjptjpt Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 391
Very sweet song. Well written. The book must be paying off. Great use of BIAB. Neat video too.
_________________________
My music can be heard at: http://thecracks.bandcamp.com/

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