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#180142 11/23/12 11:25 PM
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Noel96 Offline OP
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Hi all,

A little earlier this year, I put together an internet forum for myself and a few friends to work through Andrea Stolpe's book, Popular Lyric Writing: 10 Steps To Effective Storytelling. It's one of my top three favourite songwriting books and uniquely unlike any other songwriting book on the market. The four week long writing challenge proved to be very productive all of us. This is one of the songs I wrote using only her principles.

... Jamaican Moon (on Vimeo)


Please feel free to comment on any aspect of the song: words, music, arrangement, mix, etc.

The song is all Realtracks, Realdrums and me singing. It was written in BIAB, had instruments adjusted in RB and finally mixed in Reaper.

Best regards,
Noel

P.S. If anyone is interested, below is a link to Andrea's book at the Book Depository.

... link to Andrea's book

<span style="color:green">BAND IN BOX INFORMATION<!--color--></span>

Style: _JFNKPOP.STY (JazzFunkPoppyRhythmSectn [110RS])

RealTracks: 1434:Bass, Electric, JazzFunkPoppy Ev16 110
RealTracks: 1639:Piano, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezy Ev16 075
RealTracks: 1637:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyChords Ev16 075
RealTracks: 1638:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyMuted Ev16 075

RealDrums: BossaRockFull^1-a:HiHat , b:Ride

Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 01/19/17 11:30 AM.
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Hi Noel,

Could you please insert the Lyrics for this song so that we may learn from you.

I like the Caribbean sound of your song.

Best regards
George


Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2023 1006, Realband 2023 (1)
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Noel96 Offline OP
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Hi George,

Thank you for having listen! As soon as I get a chance, I'll do a bit of analysis on my lyrics and post them so that you and others can see how I went about things. That won't be for a little while, though, because I'm drowning in work right at this point in time.

All the best,
Noel

P.S. I've just sent you a private message, too.


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Very relaxed and enjoyable listening.
You used my favourite RealTracks. They mix nicely
with the Bossa drums.

Guenter

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Noel - what a wonderful "sound" on this. the tracks are great. your vocals are quite nice and the harmonies are a delight. excellent mix. enjoyed listening. great job.

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Great Job! I love how the drums completely change the mood of the Funk tracks! Love the lyrics too!

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Very nice Noel, I love the upbeat intro, everything lyrics melody and video mix well together, as regards the video you couldn't have chosen better pics to use.

I like the way you go about your songwriting reading books on how to do it etc, and have saved a few of your posts on this in answer to Don Gaynor I believe.

What video software do you use Noel? I find that its one of the things I spend less time on as I use Muvee reveal, just add the pics and title and it does it all for me.


All the best,
Musiclover


Musiclover

My music https://www.youtube.com/user/donegalprideofall

Windows 10 (64bit) M-Audio Fast Track Pro, Band in a Box 2024, Cubase 13, Cakewalk and far too many VST plugins that I probably don't need or will ever use smile
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Jamaican me happy with this one man

You almost captured the Caribbean feel here. I say almost because the only thing missing were the steel drums. But even without them this is a keeper.


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Hi Guenter,

Thank you. I appreciate your giving me some of your time to have listen.

By the way, I've come to this post from just having listened to your latest (for the young at heart). It's yet another creative creation from you. I thoroughly enjoy your music.

All the best,
Noel


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Hi Floyd,

Thanks for the positive feedback! I'd like to say that I did all my own harmonies but I can't. I'm lazy. My good friend TC Helicon in RB did those for me. Got to hand it to him, he's a talented bit of software.

All the best,
Noel


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Hi Tommy,

Thanks! The minute I heard the bossanova feel with the tracks I had, the mix fell into place. It's amazing how sometimes a single instrument can change the whole vibe of an arrangement!

All the best,
Noel


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Noel,

This is second time I'm trying to comment,
Must have had the 'ole' brain f... and not completed post.

I really enjoyed your music, the vocals albeit emphasized
so nicely in several places, reflect a casual Caribbean feel.

Enjoyed the video aspects also, gives it the extra touch.

Thanks for sharing with us.


FrankB

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Hi musiclover,

I appreciate your complimentary words. Thank you

Five or six years ago, I had no idea, whatsoever, how one writes lyrics. Melody and harmony were fine, but creating a satisfying lyrical journey to accompany my music completely eluded me. I started reading. Today I must have about 30 or more songwriting books (I've never counted them). I also started attending songwriting seminars. At last, I think it's starting to come together for me!

If it is of any use to you, the most valuable books in my library (and they're ones I keep re-reading over and over again) are the following.
  • Pat Pattison, Songwriting: Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure
  • Pat Pattison, Songwriting: Essential Guide to Rhyming
  • Pat Pattison, Writing Better Lyrics (2nd Ed.) (I couldn't be without this one!)
  • Andrea Stolpe, Popular Lyric Writing: 10 Steps to Effective Storytelling

    And to help me appreciate many of the subtleties in music (in relation to chord progressions, etc.) ...

  • Jai Josefs , Writing Music for Hit Songs

In my opinion, the above books are the only ones anyone needs. They are unique on the songwriting market and I find them invaluable. I worked through every exercise in each book! It was amazing what came from doing that.

Also, if you go to Pat Pattison' Homepage, you'll find a great deal of useful information under the links called "Lyric Tips" and "Videos".

For what it's worth, I usually buy my books through the BookDepository because the prices are good and they have free, worldwide delivery.

Regarding the videos: when I use still images, I assemble the video in Windows Live Movie Make (it's free and it has lots of great transition effects). When I put a movie together I use OpenShot Video Editor in Linux. It's opensource and, unlike Movie Maker, has multiple tracks. These allow me to blend images and movie clips.

All the best with your writing,
Noel

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G'day Mario,

Thanks for the smile you've just given me

Would you believe it, I was so caught up in finding the right Realtracks and Realdrums that I didn't even think of steel drums!!!!! And I love steel drums! I guess my aging brain can only deal with a limited amount of things at any one time. I might go back and had a fiddle with some steel drums when I get a bit of time. Thank you for bringing those to my attention.

All the best,
Noel


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Hi Frank!

I've got a brain like that too so I fully sympathise. Thank you for having a listen and for the uplifting comments I appreciate it.

All the best,
Noel


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Quote:

Jamaican me happy with this one man

You almost captured the Caribbean feel here. I say almost because the only thing missing were the steel drums. But even without them this is a keeper.




Really like this one also. My only issue is not with the song but because I think I am hearing everything Mario hears. Too often I am thinking what he just wrote.

Very cool song . . . now stop it Mario!

Later,

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Great sounding track Noel, I love the harmonies too. I gotta go with Mario and Danny on the steel drums..... I'm gonna go put that on the wishlist for real tracks - wouldn't it be great to have REAL steel drums....

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Noel, very "restful" in that caribbean kind of way! THe lyric "fits" the overall sense of the music. And I like how the vocal harmony was done just in the right place, the right way, to emphasize those lines.

I'll add my vote to the steel drum idea.

And a very cool video to boot!

Thanks for the info on the books as well.

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Very Nice Noel and thanks for all your tips on songwriting books. I am definitely going to be getting a few of those. I have just finished an 8 week songwriting course. I didn’t learn too much about melody or chord structure etc but I did learn some good tips about lyrics. The most important one for me was learning to cut out all the excess words! My songs were all far too wordy!


LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024.
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Very sweet song. Well written. The book must be paying off. Great use of BIAB. Neat video too.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
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