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#180162 - 11/29/12 06:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: jptjptjpt]
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7755
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Pat Marr Offline
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Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7755
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
I was waiting for Sebastian the crab to start singing backing vocals in his inimitable "Undah da sea" voice

Rather than reiterate what everybody else has said, I'll just agree and add "Excellent job, as usual Noel!"

You must have done it on purpose because its something I listen for and rarely hear in songs that are all real tracks... but there was a recurring guitar lick at the same place in every section. Touches like that give a personalized and signature quality to a song.

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#180163 - 11/30/12 04:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Danny C.]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Danny,

Thank you for taking time to listen and to comment. I think Mario has that effect on people I have to confess that there has been a few times over the years when I've suddenly found myself quoting him too!

Once again, thanks!
Noel
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#180164 - 11/30/12 04:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Sundance]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Josie (Sundance),

Thank you! I reckon some accompaniment steel drums would be brilliant! They are amazing instruments.

By the way, I keep on popping back into your thread and listening to 'Girl it's Gone'. It's such a good song! Ten listens just aren't enough!

All the best
Noel
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#180165 - 11/30/12 04:59 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Tano Music]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Tano,

I appreciate your time and your thoughts. Thank you for the positive feedback.

All the best,
Noel
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#180166 - 11/30/12 05:03 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Josie (jo131),

If I had to narrow it down to the three books that I continue to use regularly, they are ...
  • Pat Pattison, Songwriting: Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure
  • Pat Pattison, Writing Better Lyrics (2nd Ed.)
  • Andrea Stolpe, Popular Lyric Writing: 10 Steps to Effective Storytelling

Thank you for dropping in and having a listen. I appreciate it!

All the best,
Noel
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#180167 - 11/30/12 05:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: jptjptjpt]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hey jpt,

Yes indeed! The books have really helped me. It's been a great journey.

Thank you for the feedback!
Noel
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#180168 - 11/30/12 05:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Pat Marr]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Pat,

Great to see you Thank you for dropping by.

I'm glad you noticed the guitar licks. A long long time ago, I heard Neil Sedaka talking about his days of songwriting at Brill House. In the interview, he mentioned how he was always encouraged to look for ways to add as many hooks as possible to a song - instrumentally and lyrically. For some reason, his comments popped into my brain recently and so I started playing around with Realtracks and looking for hooky sections in my (re)generation of the tracks. When I came across something I liked and that had a bit of a hooky feel to me, I looked at where else I might be able to copy it to in the mix. You're a sharp observer Pat!!! Not much slips past you.

All the best,
Noel
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#180169 - 11/30/12 07:13 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7755
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Pat Marr Offline
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Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7755
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Quote:

You're a sharp observer Pat!!! Not much slips past you.



I wish that were true. The reality is that I'm one of those people who has to look at his driver's license if somebody asks for my middle name.



But I can tell a good song when I hear one, and I always hear one from you!

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#180170 - 11/30/12 11:13 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
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Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Fine craftsmanship! Stong lyrics and the melody is perfect. Thanks for sharing!




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#180171 - 12/01/12 06:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: PgFantastic]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Pat,

Quote:

The reality is that I'm one of those people who has to look at his driver's license if somebody asks for my middle name




I don't believe a word of it!

All the best,
Noel
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#180172 - 12/01/12 06:50 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: PgFantastic]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Robert!

Thank you for your positive words. You've just given me a smile.

All the best,
Noel
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#180173 - 12/01/12 07:00 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Dear all,

George Nelson, in the first post in this thread, asked me to include my lyrics with my post so that he could analyse them. At the time, I said that I'd post an analysis of my work and explain a little more about how I went about writing the song.

If anyone is interested, below is a link to a pdf file that gives a fairly detailed explanation how I went about doing things. Be warned that it's 8 pages long!

... link to pdf file (right-click and 'save as')

Please note that these are my thoughts and my interpretation of Andrea Stolpe's approach. I find her principles brilliant and very effective, and I thought others might like to know some more about her way of approaching songs.

Regards,
Noel

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#180174 - 12/01/12 08:49 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 1184
Loc: Scotland
George Nelson Offline
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Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 1184
Loc: Scotland
Hi Noel,

Thank you for your help with the lyrics.
I'm sure others can learn from them too.

George
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#180175 - 12/03/12 12:49 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: jptjptjpt]
Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1925
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Steve Young Offline
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Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1925
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Noel,

Another very well written effort here! You just keep getting better all the time! I do also agree with Mario and Josie about the steel drums. Really enjoyed it.

Steve
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Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

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#180176 - 12/03/12 03:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: jptjptjpt]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3425
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3425
Loc: Sacramento, California
I like how the song gets right down to business. The first verse wastes no time describing the scene, and then you move to the chorus. Like everyone else, I'm wondering where the steel drums are, although that would change the feel of the song quite a bit.

(Quickly double checking to make sure you're asking for "any sort" of feedback...)

But...

For me, the song lacks a strong emotional hook. Of all people, you know how tricky this sort of song is to pull off. You're writing about a location, and even though you've deftly written into the song emotional touchstones, it's not as compelling as a "relationship" sort of song, which has much of the drama built into it.

So instead of getting emotionally involved, I ended up paying more attention to all the details. All well crafted, and solidly done... but the song didn't suck me into the story.

And that's OK - there's certainly a place for that sort of song. I'm not really a failing on your part, but perhaps more the nature of this sort of song.

Anyway, nicely done.
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My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#180177 - 12/08/12 07:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: George Nelson]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi George,

No problem. Hope it's useful. I found that once I got the hang of Stople's approach, it was a very productive way of writing lyrics.

All the best,
Noel
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#180178 - 12/08/12 08:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Steve Young]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi Steve,

Thanks for taking the time to have a listen. I appreciate the positive feedback.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
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#180179 - 12/08/12 08:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16476
Loc: Australia
Hi David,

I appreciate the fact that you set aside time to listen and to give me some comprehensive feedback. I agree with all you've said regarding writing about a place.

Thanks for dropping by

Regards,
Noel
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#180180 - 12/08/12 10:47 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 10/21/07
Posts: 2174
Loc: Buford, GA
MikeK Online   happy
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Registered: 10/21/07
Posts: 2174
Loc: Buford, GA
Hi Noel,

I really like this tune and the video was a nice compliment to this overall very enjoyable tune.

Great job, Sir!

Cheers,
Mike
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Cheers,
Mike

My Music * PC: Avatar FX8366ice AMD FX-8350(4.0GHz) 16GB DDR3 6TB HDD+128GB SSD HDD Capacity NVIDIA GeForce GTX 660 Ti 2GB Win 10 64-Bit. AKAI EIE PRO Sound Interface. BIAB/RB 2020

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#180181 - 12/08/12 11:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song: "Jamaican Moon" [Re: MikeK]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2423
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2423
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
A stunning job Noel. I loved the sounds on this as well as the video.


John
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