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Most songs that I try and post here, I sort expect to be "finished". Of course, they never are (ha, ha). Recording-wise, this one has a ways to go, but I thought I would post an "early" version in case anyone has good ideas. I think the lyrics are done, but one never knows. This one has its genesis as a 50/90 song skirmish, where you are given a title and you try and write and record a full song in an hour. The lyrics are close to the original (it just seemed to flow that day). In fact, it was hard to create the "freshness" of that one hour take in BIAB. We do the best we can, though. Feel free to comment as you wish. ********************************************************************************* At The Same Moment(c) Emmrich 2011(verse) across the crowded dance floor at smokey's bar and grill celebrating cindi's divorce papers you were sitting there with her and Jill we both looked up at the same time and I know there was a spark but considering the situation there was no doubt you were on guard (CHORUS) At the same moment we caught each other's eyes and although you were toasting failure you thought about love and that's no lie (verse) So I snuck away from my friends and you slipped away from yours both had been burned by love before but we couldn't deny the allure so I ordered light beer for me and you wanted a fancy white wine I changed my order right then and there, had to get used to these things you liked (CHORUS) At the same moment we caught each other's eyes and while toasting new beginnings we thought about love and that's no lie (break using 1 chorus) (Bridge) like a phoenix from the ashes heartaches can give way to passions and maybe it was just an omen that we saw each other at the same moment (First CHORUS Again) (TAG) At the same moment while toasting new beginnings we thought about love and that's no lie Kevin: Vocals, guitars BIAB: drums, bass, acoustic guitar, piano, harmonica *************************************************************************** Title: At The Same Moment File:At The Same Moment.SGU Key=D , Tempo 81, Length (m:s)=2:54 4 bar intro, 53 bar chorus, from bar 5 to bar 57. Style is =CURR_R.STY (Nash Rock, res.guit (88 RT)) Style MIDI Instruments are : Finger Electric Bass (34), RealTracks in song: 1725:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBalladJohn Ev 065 RealTracks in song: 1037:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm NorthernRockBallad Ev 065 RealTracks in song: 626:Harmonica, Background Travis Ev 085 RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^7-a,b:Snare, HiHat *******************
Last edited by Kemmrich; 06/05/13 12:26 PM.
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Love the song's concept, Kevin.. and you had some interesting/clever rhymes which worked for me. I don't know if the rhyme police will buy them or not.
Was that you playing the guitar?
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Hi Kevin,
nice story and arrangement.
Like the guitar.
I was distracted by some handclaps on the left from
1:15 on. Were they deliberate?
Guenter
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Hi Kevin.
It sounds good already to me.
If I looked really hard for something, I might bring the drums up in the mix a wee bit. Otherwise great.
ROG.
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Kevin,
A lot to like about this one. A very interesting idea to handle the title. A hour really? That's impressive in itself!
That piano works really well. Your guitar is a great addition. Loved how you used nothing but drums in the bridge (I may have to steal that idea from you for something!). And the bridge lyric is nice. I would agree with Guenter - lose the clapping.
"I changed my order right then and there" - loved that.
floyd
Last edited by floyd jane; 06/04/13 12:24 PM.
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... any one have issue with point of view (~2nd, past tense) used and the stating that it was a divorce celebration and knowing all the the names? I've got a couple of folks telling me that since the singer couldn't know what was happening at the table and the people's names, the story is shot down from the start.
I figured that since it was past tense, those facts could be known. Of course, it could be 2nd person with a touch on omniscient thrown it!
Pat: Yes I am playing that short lead part, it needs another take or two, though. Thanks for taking time to listen and comment.
boehm: I threw those claps in there, to see what I thought about them. I either have to take them out or add to them. Thanks for the visit!
ROG: I'll try that on the drums, thanks for stopping by and the suggestion.
Floyd: It's hard to make the bridge different all the time, gotta keep trying stuff. Piano could be a tad loud here and there, I need to tame that a bit. Thanks for listening and commenting.
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As someone who is learning about bridges, I took notice and liked what you did with it. I particularly like "toasting failure." That's a clever way to describe a separation. Good tune. Thanks for posting.
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... any one have issue with point of view (~2nd, past tense) used and the stating that it was a divorce celebration and knowing all the the names? I've got a couple of folks telling me that since the singer couldn't know what was happening at the table and the people's names, the story is shot down from the start.
I figured that since it was past tense, those facts could be known. Of course, it could be 2nd person with a touch on omniscient thrown it! Kevin, You can get around that by changing “you” to “she” which would be you talking to the listener after the fact obviously knowing all the details. But whether you change it or leave it as it is you should definitely change “I know” to “I knew”. Yes you know now but you knew then. 
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I particularly like "toasting failure." That's a clever way to describe a separation. Good tune. Thanks for posting. even more than a way to describe a separation, it could be seen as a positive way to start over from any disappointing conclusion. That's a highly marketable addition to any song, since at any given time there are so many people who are experiencing some kind of disappointment, and they can use a reminder that this moment is a chance to start over...
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