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#216448 - 09/28/13 11:15 PM [User Showcase] Something's Gone Wrong
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
I'm not a real political kind of guy.
I have my opinions (like most folks), but you generally won't find me on a soapbox.
There is, however, one thing that riles me...
At work, every year at the beginning of the school year, there are boxes set out so that we can fill them with school supplies to be distrubuted to the local schools. Because they don't have the money to buy books and pencils and paper.
Education should be the top of the heap - not the bottom.
We can spend BILLIONS killing people. We can spend BILLIONS bailing out the banks 'cause they apparently forgot how to run a business...
But we can't supply our schools. Or pay our teachers. Or keep people working, for that matter...
People who WANT to work can't find jobs. What has happened?????
Seems to me...


SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG


ain't afraid of a little hard work
mud on my boots and a sweat stained shirt
long as i'm paid... it's never been that tough
i'm good with my hands... i can drive truck
never been one to depend on luck
or charity... but it's never been this rough

thought i'd try the hardware store
turns out chuck isn't there no more
there's not enough work for the extra hand
checked the warehouse and UPS
they got all the men they need i guess
or they'll just make do with what they got if they can

tell me what i missed.. who made that call.. who changed the game
how'd it come to this.. who dropped the ball.. tell me who's to blame
oh, when a good man can't find work feed his family
and hope is gone
something's gone wrong
something's gone wrong

i cast my vote.. i help put them there
i was damn proud when i heard them swear
they're gonna make things right.. they're gonna change the rules
there's plenty of cash for a war or two
gotta help the banks what else could we do
but there's not enough left to send my kids to school

tell me what i missed.. who made that call.. who changed the game
how'd it come to this.. who dropped the ball.. tell me who's to blame
oh, when a good man can't find work feed his family
and hope is gone
something's gone wrong
something's gone wrong


I played the rythym acoustic and rythym mandolin
and did vocals and harmonies.

And here is the rest...
RealTracks in style: ~~520:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 165
RealTracks in style: ~~407:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 165
RealTracks in song: 633:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopAmericanMuted Ev 120 (A:sync)
RealTracks in song: 1684:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopPromiseCrispHeld Ev16 100
RealTracks in song: 1000:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HardRockLAFuzzyHeld Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1540:Guitar, Electric, Soloist PopBelieve Ev16 065
RealTracks in song: 1838:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopModernGrooveSync4s Ev16 075
RealTracks in song: 2035:Mandolin, Soloist CountryAndy Ev 120 .... (the outro)
RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^6-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Open

Have fun.

floyd
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#216453 - 09/29/13 01:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3072
Loc: wales
gibson Offline
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3072
Loc: wales
I totally agree with the sentiments and the song is brilliant. I am chomping at the bit, so just whisper Health too.

I like the written way you introduce the song in the post, it is almost like a "live" intro.
The mandolin at the end was a MASTER TOUCH that evoked a feeling of despair, in my mind, sort of like *shrugs shoulders, my life has to go on, somehow*

And so the song is excellent.
Production etc up to you high standards
and back to the live analogy ---

*rapturous applause*

Alyn
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#216455 - 09/29/13 01:49 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14142
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14142
Loc: Australia
Hi Floyd,

Just a sec, I'll put on my 'critical thinking' hat. Nope, that doesn't help. I can't find anything to be critical of. This song is eccellentissimo, loistava (I put that one in for Dani48), très bien!

I'm totally behind you on this theme. While most governments seem to realise that employment is important, so few of these governments seem to acknowledge that education is such an important requirement for long-term economic prosperity. The thing is that it takes about 20 years for education mis-management to be seen. By that point in time, most people forget what the cause was.

A standout for me in your writing was the head of the chorus. I LOVED the lyrical acceleration you achieved with the ABCABC quick succession of rhymes. This was VERY VERY effective and was a great way of flicking on the spotlight to say "Listen up! Here's the chorus."

While I'm not a fan of fade-out endings, I have to say that it was absolutely the perfect choice for this song. For me, it was 'thinking time' and allowed my brain the chance to process what you had said and to think about it relative to my own experience in Australia. (Yet again, you've shown me a few tips and tricks in your writing that I've taken on board. Thank you smile )

Overall: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and capped off with a gold-star for superb mixing.

Really excellent work!
Noel
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#216475 - 09/29/13 08:06 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3503
Loc: Woodstock, NY
rsdean Offline
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3503
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Floyd,

Great song - love the vocal and production as well. Nice work.

Bob
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#216480 - 09/29/13 08:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 3737
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 3737
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Hi Floyd

Incredible song. The lyrics were heartfelt and music was excellent. Your words hit the nail right on the head. Things are definitely mixed up. Watched a documentary about kids coming out of University with massive student loans and no jobs. Billions being spent and very few seeing the reward.

Scott
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#216501 - 09/29/13 10:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
Alyn,

I actually included Health in my initial rant, but removed it - and some other stuff before finishing so that it wasn't quite so long...

I think an bit of an introduction is a good way to get going, so I'm glad you like that. It is how I would introduce songs when I used to actually play out. Never liked introductions that started with...
"Umm...this is a song about... ummm..."

Thanks for your comments...

floyd
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#216503 - 09/29/13 10:51 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Floyd,

your lyrics apply to many countries.
Let me quote Noel: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and superb mixing.

Guenter
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#216522 - 09/29/13 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2337
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2337
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Excellent work Floyd, an important and heartfelt song extremely well delivered. Well done my friend.

I had a twinge watching the BBC new lunchtime. There was a man in India, shopkeeper by trade but by no means wealthy, who decided something needed to be done to try and give local street urchins a chance in life and he'd set up, with his own time and money, an open air 'school' right under the noisy city concrete overpass, open to the elements. He'd painted a black square on a wall to serve as a blackboard. The kids sit on mats on the ground while he delivers basic lessons. The occasional volunteer donates exercise books but they didn't look like they had much of those. It's a topsy turvy world.
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#216525 - 09/29/13 01:07 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2876
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
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Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2876
Loc: Florida
Floyd, nicely written, well recorded and nice vocals. This is a subject I have approached in songs before. It's important to write things like this once in awhile so we can all help each other make sense of this crazy world. Thanks for posting, Tom

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#216529 - 09/29/13 01:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4318
Sundance Offline
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4318
Floyd,

I absolutely LOVE this. Great vocal and lyrics that are sad but true and very well written.

All that said, my favorite thing about this song is the tune(melody)and the hauntingly beautiful arrangement. So many of these types of songs I hear don't have that. This one left me wanting to hear more.

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#216531 - 09/29/13 02:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 2620
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
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Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 2620
Loc: York, England
Hi Floyd.

I've been missing for a couple of weeks, but I'm really glad I didn't miss this one.

The protest song has always had an important role to play in our musical heritage and this one hits right to the heart of a subject which is on a lot of people's minds.

The standard of the writing, performance and production is excellent, as usual.

ROG.

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#216536 - 09/29/13 02:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8070
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
Don Gaynor Offline
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Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8070
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
Floyd, my comments on your works are not very helpful. I absolutely love everything you do to a song so I'm not very much help, sorry.

The theme is very topical and could as well be taken from any headline in the world.

I, too, liked the mando outro. A pleasant surprise.

Well done, my friend.

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#216546 - 09/29/13 05:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6495
Loc: South Louisiana
Danny C. Offline
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Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6495
Loc: South Louisiana
Floyd,

Although the title states something has gone wrong, I can state for sure that IMHO anyway, "nothing" has gone wrong with this project".

Well done!

later,
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#216558 - 09/29/13 07:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1651
Loc: New Zealand
RichMac Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1651
Loc: New Zealand
Good one Floyd! Enjoyed the rhyming scheme and the emotion in the song as it built towards the end. Like the way you use a lot of tracks without the backing sounding crowded. Cheers.
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#216598 - 09/30/13 07:51 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 6025
Guitarhacker Offline
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 6025
I'm not 100% sure of the rules here on political speech (it's off limits on other forums I go to) but putting it into a song is totally legit. So I will tread lightly....

They are simply two sides to the same coin....


I like the song and totally agree. My wife is a teacher and we buy her classroom supplies from our own pockets. If we didn't she would have to do without.

Check out my web site: I have 2 political songs there that name names and spell it out... Hope & Change and Leave This Country Alone

I enjoyed your take on this situation.


Edited by Guitarhacker (09/30/13 07:51 AM)
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#216606 - 09/30/13 09:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3482
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
dani48 Offline
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Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3482
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Hi, Floyd !

I think that what you are singing about
is a global thing, and I also share your
sentiment whith these absolutely brilliant
lyrics to this touching tune ! I am sure there
a couple of billion people agreeing with you
on this pressing issue!

I do not find the right words to
prize this magnificient song and performance !
I think I have to use the word loistava = shiningly brilliant, as brought up by Noel !:))

Thank you Floyd !

Cheers
Dani

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#216611 - 09/30/13 10:22 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
Noel,

Always enjoy your assessment of a song!

>>> the ABCABC quick succession of rhymes

I thought you would like (and mention) that. One of those spots that looks fairly simple once it's in place, but can take a bit of thought to get there in the first place. The trick is to "make it look easy". It should never stand out as "oh..he worked on that one!"..

>>> While I'm not a fan of fade-out endings..

That has been said by others. I happen to really LIKE fade out endings. For a couple of different reasons. Many of the endings that I hear here are so "standard" as to be uninteresting - they don't reflect what has gone before (meaning the song) - they are just a standard "wrap up of this final chord". They don't have the flavor that one would actually find studio musicians doing to complete a particular song. That is in no way a "knock" on BIAB. It does all that it can possibly do given the situation. And... second, the RT soloists can do some really cool stuff if you give them time. I'm not fan of long solos in the middle of a song. At the end, the listener can choose to "go with it or not". I enjoy that final ride...

In this case, the main lead instrument had been the electric, so I let him start to take it out. But this is a "working man's song" so the mandolin seemed like the guy to "have the last word".

Thanks for you kind words. Greatly appreciated. floyd
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#216612 - 09/30/13 10:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: rsdean]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: rsdean
Floyd,

Great song - love the vocal and production as well. Nice work.

Bob


Appreciate that, Bob
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#216615 - 09/30/13 10:49 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: Scott C]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Scottt709
Hi Floyd

Incredible song. The lyrics were heartfelt and music was excellent. Your words hit the nail right on the head. Things are definitely mixed up. Watched a documentary about kids coming out of University with massive student loans and no jobs. Billions being spent and very few seeing the reward.

Scott


Thanks Scott.

It is mind-boggling how so much gets spent for the wrong things...
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#216616 - 09/30/13 10:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: Something's Gone Wrong [Re: boehm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6482
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Floyd,

your lyrics apply to many countries.
Let me quote Noel: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and superb mixing.

Guenter


Guenter - that is an interesting thing that has come from this... finding that these "problems" seem to be worldwide. And, is a reminder of the fact that we, on this forum, are "a community" made up of people from all walks of life and many different country. That in itself is a very cool thing...

And... thanks for the listen - floyd
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