|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 463
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 463 |
Here is a new song that I created with "BIAB 2013" I was in the Pat Pattison classes with Berkley. I used some lessons that I learned when taking this class. Making the song move forward, and telling a story. At the beginning I created a much shorter version and I liked it so much that I did a full rendition adding another 2 verses. Enjoy! You'll Be Crying For My Love At Night
Music is an expression that is a universal language, Never criticize anybody to harshly. They need time to grow but when they do, they do. Always be kind in what you say and do because the man upstairs is watching.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646 |
Very well done, Vocal music production and lyrics. thanks for sharing! My Music
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,547
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,547 |
Excellent song. Great job on the lyrics. Guitars had a very nice tone...
Scott
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,815
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,815 |
Sounds good. My only complaint might be that it all seems like one big chorus. I can't tell (sonically) where the verses are and where the choruses are. Visually it is also too much -- I had to stop looking at it (ha, ha). You just need more variation between the verse and chorus. If a song lack dynamics it just goes on and on.
I think what you done is fine, just break it up better and add more dynamics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,320
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,320 |
ah yes.... I agree with Kemmrich. I had no idea where the verses ended and the choruses (were there any?) began.
Where you hit the SHORT GUITAR BREAK.... there should have been an easily identifiable verse and a chorus before it..... however, it sounded like perhaps 3 verses(?) and part of something else that sounded too much like everything else.
For the most part, country, rock, bluegrass, and many other genre's of music have certain structure to them. Verses and choruses for the most part that are easy to hear and you know without a doubt that you are in the chorus or the verse. I found myself constantly asking what part of the song is this?
In a song, the verses are one part of the song that tells the story as you mentioned, and moves the song along. This is done well by the writing you have here. However, there is an apparent lack of a chorus. The chorus needs to be easy to hear... the listener should know it just went to the chorus. The chorus needs a different melody, perhaps a different chord progression and the energy level and groove should be stronger, higher, and solid.
The hook/title of the song YOU'LL BE CRYING FOR MY LOVE AT NIGHT should be in the chorus and probably no place else in the song.... especially in the verses. It should slam the idea home.... and hook the listener with a memorable melody line.
It would be easier to comment and digest the lyrics in more detail if they were written out on a single page as opposed to viewing them one line at a time in the video.
I think you have a good idea here and with a bit of effort, mainly a rewrite of a solid, unique chorus, the song could be really well written. Boil the verses down to the best story line possible and cap them with a chorus with that hook and let it tie them all together.
It reminds me of Tom Petty in more than a few places.
This advice is given with respect for you and in what you have written and hopes that it is encouraging and useful to you.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 10/08/13 06:44 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 463
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 463 |
Guitarhacker
that is great advice. I am going to attempt a r-write
Kemmrich
thanks for the words I am going to try to re-write this. As mentioned I wrote this for the pat pattison lesson's. I did an You'll be crying for my love at night, Stable Verse, & Unstable Chorus I thought that this sounded pretty good. Here is what I came up with by adding another 2 verses and using the same chorus. I know that this is breaking the rules. It does not sound to bad though because of the repetition. That is only in my opinion though. I do really appreciate the feedback. I am just writing with experimentation in mind, that is why I am looking for feedback to increase the knowledge of my writing. In my years of education I know that classes can only teach you so much. You have to sort of take the bull by the horns and teach yourself if you want to become real good at it. So, that is what I am doing. so, Just so you can get the just of this song here are the full lyrics.
You'll be crying for my love at night
4 Bar Intro
1st verse
You know I loved you for so long
I found out you didn't really care at all
Where did our love go wrong?
You set my heart up for a fall
Chorus:
Now you’ll be crying for my love at night
Through the endless tears of all my pain
now why don't you just let me be?
You'll be crying for my love at night
You had to give me all this pain
Cause' it's another love that went so wrong
2nd verse
I have had all that I can take
I still love you in so many ways
This hurt goes on and on
And I ain’t gonna’ take no more
Chorus:
Now you’ll be crying for my love at night
Through the endless tears of all my pain
now why don't you just let me be?
You'll be crying for my love at night
You had to give me all this pain
Cause' it's another love that went so wrong
Solo 8 Bar solo
3rd Verse
These tears I cried are not in vain
I know I’ll find love again someday
The thought of you’s driving me insane
My love for you stops here today
Chorus:
Now you’ll be crying for my love at night
Through the endless tears of all my pain
now why don't you just let me be?
You'll be crying for my love at night
You had to give me all this pain
Cause' it's another love that went so wrong
Went so wrong, m, m, m, m, m, m, went so wrong, fade to ending
© Robert, A. Pidgeon 2013 all rights reserved
Scottt709
Thanks for your positive comments. I edited this in music creator 6. I added some effect to get the nice guitar sounds.
PgFantastic
and also thanks for your praise on this. I did the final production in my fostex vf08 digital recorder. I do all my songs this way.
Last edited by trapper456; 10/08/13 09:47 PM. Reason: to change a word
Music is an expression that is a universal language, Never criticize anybody to harshly. They need time to grow but when they do, they do. Always be kind in what you say and do because the man upstairs is watching.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,320
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,320 |
The problem was not so much with the verses as it was with the "not well defined" chorus. With the verses, read them without the music and see if they make sense and tell the story. Don't assume anyone knows what you're talking about. In other words.... nothing cryptic that isn't explained. Keep the melody and groove/patterns the same in all the verses. Chorus: Now you’ll be crying for my love at night Through the endless tears of all my pain now why don't you just let me be? You'll be crying for my love at night You had to give me all this pain Cause' it's another love that went so wrong So, just by reading this and nothing else.... At first glance, the hook title is in the right place on Line 1..... however.... the 6 line chorus , I think, is wrong. Drop the last 2 lines and waa laa, you have the hook AGAIN in the RIGHT place..... at the end of the chorus.... Now you’ll be crying for my love at night Through the endless tears of all my pain now why don't you just let me be? You'll be crying for my love at night Since the first and last line are the hook line/title, the most important part of the rewriting is what you say in line 2 and 3 of the chorus.... in other words, you really only need to write TWO LINES.... 16 or so words..... how hard can that be? It needs to perhaps explain why she's going to be crying for your love..... either way, it should be the common theme that ties the story in the verses together..... that common thread. The other options include using the hook/title in only the first line OR the last line, and write 3 new lines.... using rhyme and meter to make it work. OR... move the hook to the end ...line 6 and write 4 new lines in the chorus. The chorus can be what ever you want it to be but, do follow the rules for placing the hook/title correctly in the chorus.... that was one thing that was throwing me off as I listened..... I heard the hook, and was expecting the end of the chorus and it kept going..... "what?" Think of the song as a 3 minute video, for which you are writing the score. Choose the words efficiently and effectively. Re-writing a song is generally harder than the original first write. Most songwriters make the mistake of thinking that what is essentially a good first draft is a finished song that exudes sheer brilliance. Only a small handful of writers were even close to that level. Lennon/McCartny being one example. Most of us really have to work to write good music. The secret to that is in the rewrite. So don't make the mistake of "falling in love" with your first drafts. Many of my songs are rewritten 6 to 8 times.... I actually do not count anymore. I simply know that it's what I need to do and get to work doing the rewrite. The only goal is the best possible song. This song: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12024980 I know for a fact, was rewritten and tweeked over 6 times.... at any given part of this song the listener knows exactly where they are. 2 verses tell the story and the pre-chorus sets up the huge chorus which delivers in a big way... providing musical climax and satisfaction..... Believe it or not, this song started with 3 or 4 verses and even had a bridge. With each rewrite, it was trimmed and this was the "end result" of the editing and trimming and looking at the song in an objective manner. This song is a co-write as well. Having a co-writer is one of the best and fastest ways to really learn how to write effectively. I hope this unsolicited advice is useful and helpful.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 10/09/13 05:37 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
Convenient Ways to Listen to Band-in-a-Box® Songs Created by Program Users!
The User Showcase Forum is an excellent place to share your Band-in-a-Box® songs and listen to songs other program users are creating!
There are other places you can listen to these songs too! Visit our User Showcase page to sort by genre, artist (forum name), song title, and date - each listing will direct you to the forum post for that song.
If you'd rather listen to these songs in one place, head to our Band-in-a-Box® Radio, where you'll have the option to select the genre playlist for your listening pleasure. This page has SoundCloud built in, so it won't redirect you. We've also added the link to the Artists SoundCloud page here, and a link to their forum post.
We hope you find some inspiration from this amazing collection of User Showcase Songs!
Congratulations to the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
We've just announced the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
There are 45 winners, each receiving a Band-in-a-Box 2024 UltraPAK! Read the official announcement to see if you've won.
Our User Showcase Forum receives more than 50 posts per day, with people sharing their Band-in-a-Box songs and providing feedback for other songs posted.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,561
Posts734,428
Members38,492
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean