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Hi Charlie. I'm a late listener for this one and what an amazing lot of comments you have got!
My choice for the song would be a very sparse beginning building slowly as the song develops then fading again at the end. Reduced drum volume on the loud bits and somehow tighten up the song to about 3 minutes. Aiming for a sweet sentimental feel. Hope you have fun with all the suggestions! Cheers.

floyd jane #257289 07/23/14 08:01 PM
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Thanks Floyd. Yes, I'm keeping the outro. I chose #1765 guitar but it has a ringing that I am trying to eq out now. I also corrected the drums and lowered them and brought up the fiddle in the intro so far.


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Thanks for stopping by RichMac. Yes, It's a blessing so many talented folks have offered tips and suggestions and I appreciate them all.

Charlie


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Charlie, There are some really good melody moments in the vocal/chord progression. I do agree with Greg that there are a few awkward harmony phrases. I also agree with everything floyd had to say re changes. Definitely not a throw away. I enjoyed it. Tom

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I like the intro. Has a very Beetles vibe like Across the Universe with your strumming acoustic guitar and the heavy snare. It works for me. I would keep that vibe going by leaving the snare in for the whole song. Maybe go to the softer side-stick at the bridge?

Then when the harmony vocals kick in I get a Grateful Dead vibe with a sort of asymmetric weaving of harmonies.

I like it. If I were working it, I might try doing away with the fiddle and try auditioning more guitar elements.

There is a lot to like here.

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Hell.. I liked it a lot. Esp. the chord changes.

tommyad #257394 07/24/14 08:51 PM
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Hi Tommyad, thanks for your comments. I've had a lot of fun trying out some of the good suggestions posted. I hope to upload a revised version tomorrow to showcase some of the changes.


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gruverider #257395 07/24/14 09:00 PM
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Gruverider, I hope you will post your thoughts on the revision when it is posted. I replaced the strumming intro with a finger-pick guitar intro and it changes the intro pretty dramatically. I'm a fan of alternate tuned acoustics, 12 strings and the high strung acoustic sound so the #1765 guitar matched the melody and chord progression the closet for my ear. I have also placed electric guitars into the choruses.

I agree with those who have suggested there is plenty of room for harmonies but my vocal skills even when enhanced with vocal gadgets will likely be the weakest part of the song.

Charlie


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soolan #257396 07/24/14 09:08 PM
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Soolan, thanks so much for taking time to comment. The chords and changes have remained intact through all of the other revisions, instrument swaps and tweaks. I hope you enjoy the final version too.

Charlie


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I look forward to it

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Charlie
an enjoyable song and some excellent suggestions from Floyd, Herb and Al.
Just have to say I like long intros myself so I will take the suggestions for me as well!!!!

I look forward to the next version also
Alyn

gibson #257430 07/25/14 06:51 AM
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I agree Alyn, this forum has folks with lots of talent and real experience. It is interesting to see how their personal influences result in hearing things differently. In a way, the forum is like an international school of music forum members come from just about everywhere, even M4 Boogaloo. ;=) This discussion has offered suggestions and tips from these experienced, talented people that can help those of us still finding our way with BIAB, mixing and production. Thanks for listening and your kind comments.


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hi c_fogle I would bring the vocal up and the drums down a bit could be my system though I enjoyed the song very much thanks for sharing eric


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Hi Charlie,

I congratulate you. I enjoyed listening to your work. It's easy to hear that you've spent a great deal time and thought putting this song together.

Ain't Band In A Box amazing! I don't know about you but every time I write a song, I always say "Thank you" to Peter Gannon and PG Music for what they've made possible.

Best wishes,
Noel


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F.M.M. #257484 07/25/14 06:11 PM
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Hi Eric,thanks for listening. I am in process of making some changes and corrections and hope to post an updated version this weekend that will fix the drums and vocals and include some other changes that have been suggested.


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Hey Noel, thanks for listening and your kind comment. I continue to be amazed and delighted by band in a box and real band. I used band in a box years ago when it first came out, drifted away from it and was motivated by my brother to try it again with version 2013. I loaded onto a desktop computer I had set up just for music and never completed a single song with it.

My brother talked me into upgrading to 2014 version mainly based on the new 'user tracks' feature. I purchased it in late December onto a laptop and have been happily enjoying retirement by returning to music and songwriting. I haven't attempted to create a user track yet but I'm sure I will eventually. Band in a Box has had more than I could need so far. The only inspiration I have had for a User Track is to record something basic with a rare, vintage Gibson Double neck that other users may find unique to use.

Yes, I do thank Dr. Gannon and PG Music for such a solid and creative product but no, if one of my original songs makes me a millionaire, I won't share the money. I will certainly upgrade to the next BB out of gratitude though. ;=)


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