Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#259649 - 08/15/14 09:58 PM [User Showcase] Once had a girl
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Hello everyone,

This week's song:

Once had a girl youtube video



A country song about a young girl I used to know.
Since there's not too much quality difference in audio, it's preferred to watch the video.
Lyrics are also included there.

Hope you like it! Any comments are welcome.

style: C_finger.sty fingerpicking guitar
used real tracks:
2265 synth bellpad rhythm 80s pop melodic ev 085
607 guitar nylon chet train ev 130
411 guitar electric rhythm train picking ev 130
378 guitar acoustic strumming doubletime ev 088
363 pedal steel background ev 085 1
603 pedal steel background train ev 130
1295 BanjoRythm, ModernCountrySyncEv16
MIDI tracks:
instrument 33 acoustic string bass
instrument 26 acoustic guitar
real drums: Nashville 2beat

Lyrics:

Once had a girl

oh it's true that old habits die hard
don't put 'm on the playlist, delete 'm up front
I once had the girl in my arms
looking mighty fine, sure made me shine

silent warnings, whispering his name
wrong behavior covering up her pain

soon I became another man
flying in the night, trying to make things right
sure leaving some broken hearts behind
knowing fully why, they were not my kind

Striking silent whispering her name
knowing darn well, she came and left my life

I once had a girl she was leaving
me far behind, to the other side
still working my way back to her
and my frame of mind, that left me blind

silent warnings whispering his name
wrong behavior to cover up her pain
living silent all the games they played
knowing darn well she came and left that day

She left that day


Regards,
Rob


Edited by Andrew - PG Music (09/26/17 05:06 PM)
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

Top
#259653 - 08/15/14 10:24 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6239
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6239
Loc: South Carolina
Another well written and produced tune. I enjoyed the uptempo pace of this.

Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2021:RB 2021, Latest builds: Dell AIO; Windows-10-64 bit, AMD A9 Processor and 16 GB Ram Memory.

Top
#259674 - 08/16/14 08:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Excellent work again - and with those ear-catching major to minor/minor to major changes! Great lyrics and vocal delivery, with a perfect arrangement. Well done.

John
_________________________
Songs web site
YouTube Channel
BIAB 2019
Cakewalk by BandLab
Studio One 4

Top
#259694 - 08/16/14 12:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Rob and Anne-Marie,
Originally Posted By: c_fogle
Another well written and produced tune. I enjoyed the uptempo pace of this.


Nice harmonies.

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

Top
#259703 - 08/16/14 12:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4079
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
dani48 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4079
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Hi, Rob and Anne-Marie !


I like this tune and your
performance, well everything
about it very much !:))
A very good listen !!:))

Cheers
Dani

Top
#259736 - 08/16/14 08:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17211
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17211
Loc: Australia
Hi Rob and Anne-Marie,

This is a really beautiful song. No-one on this forum can work those minor modes as skillfully as you do. It's always a pleasure to listen to your compositions.

Because you asked for comments ...

One thing that got caused me to ponder a bit, after I listened, was the use of the two different points of view in the lyrics. This is unusual. For some of the song, the point of view is first-person narrative (using pronouns I/me/my/mine and she/her/hers and they/them/theirs. The perspective then changes to third-person narrative (using pronouns he/him/his and she/her/hers and they/them/theirs).

I found myself wondering whether or not you'd tried the lyrics with a consistent point of view. To my ears, first-person narrative throughout is very strong (that his replace he/him/his with I/me/my/mine). Maybe that's just me, though.

If you're interested, below is how the lyrics read when they are consistently first-person narrative and consistently third-person narrative (just in case you're interested).

Quote:
FIRST-PERSON NARRATIVE
oh it's true that old habits die hard
don't put 'm on the playlist, delete 'm up front
I once had the girl in my arms
looking mighty fine, sure made me shine

silent warnings, whispering my name
wrong behavior covering up her pain

soon I became another man
flying in the night, trying to make things right
sure leaving some broken hearts behind
knowing fully why, they were not my kind

Striking silent whispering her name
knowing darn well, she came and left my life

I once had a girl she was leaving
me far behind, to the other side
still working my way back to her
and my frame of mind, that left me blind

silent warnings whispering my name
wrong behavior to cover up her pain
living silent all the games we played
knowing darn well she came and left that day

She left that day


THIRD-PERSON NARRATIVE
oh it's true that old habits die hard
don't put 'm on the playlist, delete 'm up front
he once had the girl in his arms
looking mighty fine, sure made him shine

silent warnings, whispering his name
wrong behavior covering up her pain

soon he became another man
flying in the night, trying to make things right
sure leaving some broken hearts behind
knowing fully why, they were not his kind

Striking silent whispering her name
knowing darn well, she came and left his life

he once had a girl she was leaving
him far behind, to the other side
still working his way back to her
and his frame of mind, that left him blind

silent warnings whispering his name
wrong behavior to cover up her pain
living silent all the games they played
knowing darn well she came and left that day

She left that day



The above are just my thoughts. Please feel completely free to throw them in the trash can (or rubbish tin as we say in Australia).

There's no changing the fact that you both write and perform absolutely stunning music!

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


Top
#259746 - 08/16/14 10:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
I like your style, another fine piece of music; thanks for sharing!
_________________________
My Tunes

Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

Top
#259759 - 08/17/14 12:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
gibson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
Rob and Anne-Marie,

That is a beautiful song in all respects.
I do like your style of writing and producing.

Alyn
_________________________
My showcase songs

My story

Top
#259768 - 08/17/14 08:00 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2645
Loc: South Africa
JoanneCooper Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2645
Loc: South Africa
Hi Rob and Anne-Marie
I looked at the video and while back but am only now getting a chance to get back and type up a comment. I really love those smooth vocals and the sublte harmony supplied by Anne-Marie. Keep up the good work


Edited by JosieC (08/17/14 08:01 AM)

Top
#259769 - 08/17/14 08:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Noel,

First, thanks for your positive comment on the song.
I really appreciate you taking the trouble to analyse the lyrics and offering some alternatives. Nobody has done this before.
However, the "whispering his name" and "all the games they played" parts, don't refer to me (first person), but to the person who was still very much alive in her mind at the time, i.e. her ex boy friend. Hence,the "whispering" and the "games they played".

I like writing lyrics in which there is a subtle change in point of views. I also find it a challenge to write lyrics that are not all that down to earth, but leave room to your own interpretation (projection, if you will). I'm influenced by songwriters such as Leonard Cohen, Paul Simon.
In general however, lyrics don't come all that easily to me. Especially if I also want them to rhyme from time to time. wink
Thanks again!

Regards,
Rob


Edited by R & AM (08/17/14 08:42 AM)
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

Top
#259779 - 08/17/14 12:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6239
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6239
Loc: South Carolina
Hi Rob and Anne-Marie,

(Quote) "However, the "whispering his name" and "all the games they played" parts, don't refer to me (first person), but to the person who was still very much alive in her mind at the time, i.e. her ex boy friend. Hence,the "whispering" and the "games they played"."

If you were to change that lyric to "Her silent warnings... " it would eliminate any confusion to the change between first person and third person in that verse.

I also always enjoy Noel96's superb lyrical evaluations too.

Regards,

Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2021:RB 2021, Latest builds: Dell AIO; Windows-10-64 bit, AMD A9 Processor and 16 GB Ram Memory.

Top
#259789 - 08/17/14 02:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Charlie,
Yes, I think you're right there, I'll keep it in mind for future songs!
Regards,
Rob
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

Top
#259795 - 08/17/14 05:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17211
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17211
Loc: Australia
Hi Rob,

Quote:

However, the "whispering his name" and "all the games they played" parts, don't refer to me (first person), but to the person who was still very much alive in her mind at the time, i.e. her ex boy friend. Hence,the "whispering" and the "games they played".


Ahhhh ... that didn't occur to me as I listened and then later read through the lyrics. Thanks for clearing up the mystery smile

Just in case you're interested ... below is an interesting link to an article where Pat Pattison takes a song through a journey of points of view. (In case you are not aware, Pattison is a songwriting and poetry professor at Berklee College, Boston.)

http://patpattison.com/patsparlourguestbook/

Regards,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


Top
#259814 - 08/18/14 02:19 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6251
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6251
Loc: Davis, CA
Another very pretty song!! Again, unconventional musical change from the verse to the chorus which works perfectly. I wish I had your musical vocabulary. I have to ask-Are you guys really cranking out quality productions at this rate or do you have a backlog? Either way, I'm jealous. Very nice work!! Take care. Greg

Top
#259827 - 08/18/14 09:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7625
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7625
I liked the song.... very nice transitions in there.

As far as the lyric critique..... I'm gonna sit this one out, but will say that words are critical and just ONE word can make all the difference in the world to the song and how crystal clear the story is or how confusing and murky it is in the minds eye of the listeners.

For the most part, you need to stay in the same "person" throughout or have a really really good reason for shifting the POV. I'm guilty of it and have been called on it by professional writers. Like I said, often changing a few words fixes it.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

Top
#259832 - 08/18/14 09:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi John, Guenter, Dani, Robert, Alyn, Joanne,

Thanks for your nice comments.

Noel: Thanks for the link, we'll check it out!

Greg: Although we have re-recorded some of Rob's old songs with Biab, we've also been creating lots of new songs lately. An average of one new song every week is not uncommon for us whistle

Herb: You're right, but sometimes we like to take our "artistic license" and Rob does like to "play" with words a littele bit.

Regards,
R & AM
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

Top
#259890 - 08/18/14 06:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9204
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9204
Loc: Florida
Rob and Anne-Marie,

I got really lost in this... the song has such a great flow to it. The mix of instruments and your vocals is so smooth - mesmerizing...

A terrific Simon and Garfunkel vibe to this...

Well done.

floyd

Top
#259941 - 08/19/14 09:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10240
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10240
Loc: GA USA
Very nice with very expressive chord changes and lyric. Nice to hear the nylon "chet" guitar -- we recently discovered and used it. As with all your productions the mix is stellar -- everything just sits so well...something I'm working more and more on. Much enjoyed the audio and vid -- you have a very high level of consistency.

J&B
_________________________

J&B Soundcloud
J&B YouTube
J&B Website

Top
#259976 - 08/19/14 03:42 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3180
Loc: The Netherlands
Thank you Floyd,

always appreciated!
Yes, I'm definitely influenced by Paul Simon, if people can hear this back in our music, we are flattered smile

regards,
Rob
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

Top
#260002 - 08/19/14 10:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: Once had a girl [Re: RnAM]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4653
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4653
Like that Simon and Garfunkle vibe. Smooth.


Josie

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box® 2021 Russian for Windows is Here!

Мы хорошо потрудились и добавили 80 новых функций и изумительную коллекцию нового контента, включая 202 стиля RealTracks, новые стили RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, инструментальные этюды (Instrumental Studies), записи профессионального живого исполнения (Artist Performances), поставляемые в качестве бонуса отдельные инструменты RealDrums (RealDrums "Singles"), транскрипции стилей RealDrums, набор мультистилей MultiStyles PAK 1, набор экстра-стилей Xtra Styles PAK 10 и др.!

новых | Пакеты

Just Released - Xtra Styles PAK 11 for Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows!

We've added 200 exciting new RealStyles with the just-released Xtra Styles PAK 11 for Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows - 50 each for Jazz 11, Country 11, Rock & Pop 11, and Half & Double Time 1!

We think you'll love the new RealStyles and MultiStyles added with Xtra Styles PAK 11, which includes new sounds like modern reggaeton, medieval-inspired folk pop, Americana power ballad, speakeasy vocal jazz, R&B and reggae fusion, and more!

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 11 Demos for Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows

XTRA STYLES PAKS ARE ON SALE UNTIL MAY 31st! During our Xtra Styles PAK 11 special, all of our Xtra Styles PAKs 1-11 are on sale for just $29 each (reg. $49)! Looking for more Xtra Styles PAKs? Until May 31st, you can purchase our complete library of all 1,800+ RealStyles with the Xtra Styles PAK 1-11 Bundle for only $199 (reg. $349)! Learn more & order now.

Interested in a specific genre? These can be purchased for $15 each - pick & choose here.

NOTE: Xtra Styles PAKs require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition version 2020 or 2021. (Xtra Styles PAK 11 requires the 2021 UltraPAK/UltraPAK+/Audiophile Edition.) Xtra Styles PAKs won't work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Learn more & listen to demos of Xtra Styles PAK 11.

Get To Know the Band-in-a-Box® Song Settings

Want to customize your Band-in-a-Box® song? Head into the Song Settings window to adjust settings for endings, tags, style variations, pushes, rests, chord embellishments, and more!

To access Song Settings in Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows, use Ctrl+N or choose the Edit | Song Form | Settings (for This Song) option.

Looking to mix up the styles playing for each chorus? You can do that!

Want Pedal Bass in your middle chorus? You can do that too!

Hoping to fade the ending to your song? Also an option from within this window!

There are additional Ending options, RealTracks options (including half-time/double-time, 'bluesy' solos, Natural Arrangements, etc.), and more!

Learn more about Band-in-a-Box® Song Settings.

Update Your Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows Documentation Today!

Download the latest Update for Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows to access the updated PDF manual and updated help file.

We've also addressed user reported concerns regarding Plugins Options, Drum Kit window MIDI events, the 2 bar lead-in for exported MIDI files, read-only Audio tracks, and more!

The latest update is available for FREE to all Band-in-a-Box® 2021 Windows users.

Learn more and download now.

Band-in-a-Box® 2021 Portuguese for Windows is Here!

Estamos ocupados e adicionamos 80 novos recursos e uma coleção incrível de novos conteúdos, incluindo 202 RealTracks, novos RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Estudos Instrumentais, Performances de Artistas, Bonus RealDrums "Singles", transcrições de RealDrums, MultiStyles PAK 1, Xtra Styles PAK 10 e mais!

Novas Funções | Pacotes

Band-in-a-Box® 2021 Spanish for Windows is Here!

En PG Music tenemos el placer de anunciar la disponibilidad de Band-in-a-Box 2021 en Español. Despues de arduo trabajo hemos agregado, entre otras cosas, 80 funciones nuevas y una gran colección de nuevas incorporaciones y contenido que incluyen 202 RealTracks, nuevos RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Estudios Instrumentales, Interpretaciones de Artistas, RealDrums 'Single' adicionales, transcripciones de RealDrums, MultiStyles PAK 1, Xtra Styles PAK 10 ¡y mucho mas!

Nuevas características | Todos los Paquetes

New Update Available for Band-in-a-Box® 2021 for Windows!

Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2021 today!

We've applied some updates to a variety of Add-ons, improved transcriptions and simple tags, resolved playback issues with MIDI tracks, and more. Plus, this free update adds the latest DAW Plugin 3.46!

Learn more & download now.

Forum Stats
34363 Members
67 Forums
69379 Topics
596478 Posts

Max Online: 2537 @ 01/19/20 07:09 AM
Newest Members
PascalH35, GuitarGal, Behcet Tolga, mcneelamusic, The_Reverend

34361 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
VideoTrack 202
Matt Finley 137
MarioD 132
Planobilly 113
eddie1261 106
Jim Fogle 105
dcuny 101
Janice & Bud 98
Simon - PG Music 96
Noel96 91
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays