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#260727 - 08/28/14 02:42 PM [User Showcase] Outside Your Window.
Registered: 03/27/14
Posts: 4
Beth Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/27/14
Posts: 4
Hi Everyone.

My third song on the forum.

As usual, I'm playing the guitar parts and ROG is playing bass and keyboards. The drums are RealDrums.
Vocals this time are by Andy on the main vocal and my sister Sîan tracked up all the backing vocals.

OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW
Outside your window
You know the sun may be shining
But in your room it's cold ice

Outside your window
There stands a church on the hillside
A place you've never been inside

No use staring at the wall
It's time to pay the price
The choir sings heaven help you all
Don't count on paradise

Outside your window
You know the world keeps on turning
But in your room the clock stands still.

Thanks for listening and all comments welcome.

Beth.

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#260730 - 08/28/14 03:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9497
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9497
Loc: Florida
Another winner, Beth.

Y'all sound like you've been doing this a long time.
Good mix. I assume the horns are ROG on keyboard? They sound good.
Drums sound great. Guitars sound good. I thought the lead could be just a hair louder.

Good vocals and harmonies (particularly when they get real full on "heaven...").

The organ at the end was quite tasty.

An interesting write. Enjoyable.

floyd

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#260735 - 08/28/14 05:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10741
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10741
Loc: GA USA
Very nice. I'm really fond of this type of lyric where so much is left to the imagination of the listener. Neat guitar. Enjoyed it.
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#260746 - 08/28/14 07:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7790
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7790
Nice work. The clean guitar tone is really sweet.
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#260752 - 08/28/14 09:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6327
Loc: Davis, CA
Really cool tune!! Everything works well. A few things I'd consider: 1) Some tuning on the lead vocal. He has a great tone and timing, and with his style (Neil Youngish) you can get away with a little pitchiness but sometimes it's a bit much, and 2) The harmonies on the chorus are lovely. I would consider doing the harmony (3rd?) on all four lines vs. unison (or octaves) on the first 2 and harmony on the others. Great job!! This is a really good tune! Take care. Greg

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#260757 - 08/29/14 03:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Another fine track, great vocal and well written lyrics Beth; thanks for sharing!
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#260761 - 08/29/14 03:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
gibson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
Beth,

Quote:
Outside your window
You know the world keeps on turning
But in your room the clock stands still.


What a lovely lyric.
ROG says I sound like me (gibson) and I say that all his productions have that ROG vibe, which is excellent.

Good write, nice harmonies and a +1 to all the other replies!!

Alyn
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#260764 - 08/29/14 07:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7790
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7790
Listening again in more detail.

I agree 100% with Greg above. The lead vox needs tuning and so do the BGV's. While we're talking about tuning. The guitar is every so slightly off in the solo.... very slight. It sounds like one or two strings needed to be tuned. When I record I tune electronically before and during my sessions. A string can slip slightly with a bend and that can affect the tuning higher on the neck. I have also been known to run my pitch correction on instruments too when the take was good but something was a slight bit off.

Bring the guitar fills up several db's and the guitar itself could probably stand a few db bump overall.

I'm not a fan of the horns. They sound too synthy. My recommendation would be to replace them. Either use much better samples of horns or use a totally different instrument. Piano would sound good in there with the instrumentation you already have in this mix. B3 Hammond organ would also work well in this song. Both of which are available in Real Band.

Just my further thoughts on the song..... and yeah, I really like the tone of the guitar you are getting...clean but not too bright. I assume it's that blonde tele in your avatar pic?
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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#260768 - 08/29/14 08:11 AM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6460
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6460
Loc: South Carolina
Nice song. Enjoyed it and I really admire your guitar skills.



Charlie
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#260858 - 08/30/14 12:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Janice & Bud]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Beth,
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Very nice. I'm really fond of this type of lyric where so much is left to the imagination of the listener. Neat guitar. Enjoyed it.


+1 from me.

Guenter
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#261001 - 08/31/14 03:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4117
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
dani48 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4117
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Hi, Beth & team !:))


Wow ! a very nice tune
so delicately performed !
I really loved it and the
vocals most of all !:))

Cheers
Dani

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#261016 - 08/31/14 05:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7985
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Pat Marr Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7985
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Beth,

this may be the first of your songs I've heard. My gut feeling is that you did a good job of latching onto familiar themes then embellishing them with personal touches to make it your own.

The familiar:
the 3 chord pattern in the body of the song reminded me of many hypnotic Fleetwood Mac tunes everybody loves, or the 60's San Francisco sound which was equally trancelike.

The layered background vocals remind me of Pink Floyd's "another brick in the wall" sound

Establishing subtle links to songs that have stood the test of time and won the hearts of multiple generations of music lovers is a highly desirable accomplishment.

Your Own:
Rog's use of horns adds something new that differentiates your song from my memories of other songs. I automatically like everything Rog does, his musical sensibilities seem to mirror my own... although I suspect we would not articulate our choices in exactly the same way.

Your lyrics are what really set this song apart from anything else and make it yours alone. You paint an unmistakable portrait with your words, and I would hate to be the person you are singing about!

Regarding the guitar, I really liked the understated feel it provided, As such, I was glad it did not ramp up in volume. It serves a supporting role, and to my ears it was perfect in its application.

The melody reminded me of Mitch Easter (band:"Let's Active"), and I like that style. I find myself wishing that you had sung your own song, But Andy did a great job of it, and maybe it is his voice that reminded me of Mitch Easter... but the melody did too.

All in all a very positive first impression for me! Thanks for posting!

(Rog: I found myself wishing for more reverb on the horns. I know you don't get requests for MORE reverb very often, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to express my thoughts on the topic) wink

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#261089 - 09/01/14 01:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 4989
Loc: California
Muzic Trax Offline
Veteran

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 4989
Loc: California
Nice song. I enjoyed the almost 70's vibe going on in it. Well done.

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#261091 - 09/01/14 02:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
PatrickH Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
That's a very nice write Beth. You're getting a lot of constructive criticism which I think is great, especially since it's only in regards to tweaking your production. You're well on your way to something in your writing and production skills.-Patrick

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#261321 - 09/03/14 09:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 16003
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 16003
Loc: Hamlin NY
This is very good!

I agree with Pat as it also reminded me of the 60's San Francisco sound.

Your guitar work was very tasty! Excellent job on those leads.

I would do some slight pitch corrections on the vocals. Don't make them all absolutely perfect as that sounds fake but nudge them a little closer to the aim pitch. Just my thoughts and YMMV.
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#261338 - 09/03/14 10:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 93
Loc: Illinois
plish Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 93
Loc: Illinois
Hi Beth!

Digging the feel. Agree with the comments on a smidge of autotune. Even the best use it. I've found it very helpful in increasing the quality of vocals and it makes harmonies much better smile

Having said that, the harmonies are cool. Great job!! Keep on keepin on!

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#261398 - 09/04/14 06:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3275
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3275
Loc: York, England
Another great song from Beth.

One thing which I really like about working with Beth is the variety of styles which she's prepared to try out. Working with different genres is a really good way to improve your technique, together with your understanding of music structure and songwriting. It's also good to see the team here supporting each other with session work.

I know my students value highly the advice and encouragement which the forum provides, even if the odd person appears a little harsh at times. How many of us at their age were producing songs of this standard?

Let's see what's next in line.

ROG.

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#261404 - 09/04/14 07:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
F.M.M. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
hi beth cool tune enjoyed very much nice guitar work keep them coming eric
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#261416 - 09/04/14 10:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: ROG]
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
PatrickH Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
ROG, i believe everyone really dug the tune but the forum does tend to critique production in great detail. It is sometimes a bit direct, but I have learned a lot reading them ( directed at me and others). I can't wait to hear what she comes up with next!

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#261419 - 09/05/14 02:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Outside Your Window. [Re: Beth]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5532
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Hi Beth ...

I've been away from the boards for several weeks ... close family member with cancer and health issues of my own. Also, have a deadline for two novels I'm writing.

Loved the song! I know most folks here said it reminded them of the 60's SF sound. I hear a lot of that in it, too. But overall, it had more of a 70's feel to me... mostly because the horns sounded similar in style to so much of what I heard in the 70's. Just my opinion, though.

For me, the strong pint is the lyric. You've given us a framework but left the finishes touches for our imaginations. Doing so allows each listener to personalize the song, to some degree, to fit a mood or situation he/she is experiencing. That only broadens the appeal to a greater variety of listeners.

Coo song and performance!

Alan
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