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#264108 - 10/02/14 04:54 AM
[User Showcase]
Memory Eternal
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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I've been mostly in lurker mode for the last couple of months. Part of it was because I've been busy working on other things, but also because of a self-imposed exile where I'd promised myself I'd stop commenting on other people's tracks until I posted a few more of my own. (Yes, it's the exact opposite of what Josie sensibly suggested). In my defense, I didn't think it would take nearly this long to finish a song!  Memory EternalI close my eyes at the end of the day
Letting colors and cares drift away
I wonder - who dreams this dream of wonder and song
And who will remember when we're gone?
The catch in my throat; the pang of regret
One shining moment; some final sunset
Held close in my heart, so I'll never forget
But who will remember when we're gone?
Although we've time spent in this world
With time and tide, this all will pass away
Unless we're held in memory eternal
And in memory eternal we'll stayCello, Background PopCountry Ev 085 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 120 Guitar, High-Strung Acoustic, Rhythm Pop16ths Ev16 065 Fiddle, Background Pop16ths Ev 110 Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment PopBalladJohn Ev 110 Flute, English Horn: Westgate Instrument library Female Vocals: AVANNA Vocaloid Mixed in Reaper, using EZMix2 and Nectar on vocals. Pitch correction using Reaper's built-in tools, and pretty much straining it to the limit. It's a good idea to make sure a song is in a good key before putting creating the backing tracks.  The song title comes from a phrase in the Eastern Orthodox memorial service, but it thematically borrows a bit from from Lewis Carrol as well. I've broken my usual rule and allowed a lot of word repetitions, such as: I wonder - who dreams this dream of wonder and songI can't offer any defensible excuse for it. Per usual, I wrote lyrics, and then tried to set them to music. After struggling for much too long, I finally sat down and put together a simple chord progression in BiaB with lots of lovely major 7th chords. I then imported the backing tracks into the Vocaloid editor and pushed notes and words around until I got something I liked. Feedback is welcome. In particular, I suspect the mix balance isn't where it needs to be, especially with the vocals. I didn't use reference tracks while mixing - shame on me. If anyone's curious, here's a link to the rough demo track with the Yohioloid Vocaloid on the vocals. I'm not entirely sure the "polished" version improves on the "rough" version.
Edited by dcuny (10/02/14 11:08 AM)
Edit Reason: Fixed link
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#264114 - 10/02/14 06:42 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4254
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Veteran
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4254
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
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Hi, David !:))
I must say that I am more than impressed
by both your songwriting and your use
of those sweet ladies´voices !!!!:))
This tune is beautiful in every aspect
and I liked it very much !:))
Cheers
Dani
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#264129 - 10/02/14 09:39 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10214
Loc: Florida
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10214
Loc: Florida
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David - I'm getting a "we can't find this page" from Soundcloud...
Did you take it down or is this a SC issue? - fj
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#264145 - 10/02/14 11:13 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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David - I'm getting a "we can't find this page" from Soundcloud...
Did you take it down or is this a SC issue? - fj Looks like I somehow botched the link. Fixed it now, sorry about that!
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#264149 - 10/02/14 11:28 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3631
Loc: The Netherlands
Veteran
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3631
Loc: The Netherlands
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Hi David,
Very melodic, and very original!
Definitely my kind of song.
Personally I prefer the vocaloid version (very, very cool programming by the way!).
Regards,
Rob
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#264153 - 10/02/14 11:41 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5897
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Veteran
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5897
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
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Hi David,
Very nice! The lyric is one to make you stop and think of your mortality. Poignant but excellent lyric!
Your voice is a good match for the music. We enjoyed our listen very much. The cello is a real nice touch!
My oldest son was killed in a motorcyle accident when he was 22 years old. He always said he was bad-[*****] and would outlive death. So, after his funeral I wrote an instrumental, in honor of his memory, called "Eulogy To Death". I think most songwriters/composer are reluctant to write about mortality and death. Glad to see you approach the subject of mortality. Thanks for a nice listen!
Alan & Di
_________________________
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#264159 - 10/02/14 12:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Veteran
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
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Hi David,
excellent lyrics and nice arrangement. I prefer your "rough" version, too.
Guenter
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#264182 - 10/02/14 02:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dani48]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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I must say that I am more than impressed
by both your songwriting and your use
of those sweet ladies´voices !!!!:))
This tune is beautiful in every aspect
and I liked it very much !:))
Hi, Dani. Thanks for the positive words! The main Vocaloid on the demo is actually a male Swedish teenager attempting to do an American accent. It's been many years since I've been an American teenager - something I should have considered that the before I tried overdubbing my own vocals on the song! 
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#264183 - 10/02/14 02:44 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: RnAM]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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Personally I prefer the vocaloid version (very, very cool programming by the way!)
Thanks! I should make it clear that the Vocaloid is a commercial product - not related to my own attempts at vocal synthesis. The Vocaloid program is pretty easy to use - it uses a piano roll style notation, and exports .wav files that are easy to import into a DAW. The free Vocaloid editor that I'm using is limited to 16 bars, but that's not much of a limitation since most songs break up nicely into 16 bar sections. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any way to integrate Vocaloid into BiaB, which would be really cool.
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#264191 - 10/02/14 03:11 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7147
Loc: South Carolina
Veteran
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7147
Loc: South Carolina
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Nice write and production especially on such a difficult subject.
Charlie
_________________________
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#264194 - 10/02/14 03:36 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: Al-David]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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My oldest son was killed in a motorcycle accident when he was 22 years old. He always said he was bad-[*****] and would outlive death. So, after his funeral I wrote an instrumental, in honor of his memory, called "Eulogy To Death". I think most songwriters/composer are reluctant to write about mortality and death. Glad to see you approach the subject of mortality. Thanks for a nice listen! Thanks, Al. I'm sorry to hear about your son. Words can be such a limitation - there's just no way to say all that needs to be said. Pure melody can get you past that. Old And Wise is one of my favorite songs, and I love the lyric. But it's the extended sax solo at the end that really gets me. Interestingly, the BBS doesn't bleep the "naughty" words when you edit them. Curious. Thanks again for the feedback!
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#264197 - 10/02/14 03:44 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: boehm]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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excellent lyrics and nice arrangement. I prefer your "rough" version, too.
Hi, Guenter. I tried to make the final version a bit more sparse, but guess I went overboard. Note to self - keep backups! I've also been told the vocals are too soft, so I'll see about giving them a bit of boost. Thanks!
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#264198 - 10/02/14 03:45 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: Charlie Fogle]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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Nice write and production especially on such a difficult subject. Thanks for the feedback!
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#264214 - 10/02/14 05:35 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10214
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10214
Loc: Florida
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David,
I enjoyed listening to your song and production. I ended up listening to both several times. Your process fascinates me. Your vocal works very well for the lyric - which is interesting and nicely "lyrical" - which might seem an odd thing to say about a lyric, but a surprising percentage of people do not write "lyrical" lyrics - words that sing..
The mix sounds good. I thought it was a bit on the "thin side" - your instruments all being softer, higher-eq type instruments. But when I switched to the demo version, it had more depth (sonically) - beefier. But I think both versions work. The one lively, vibrant (demo) and the other, ethereal..
I enjoyed the experience of your song. And it was that... an experience. A good thing.
floyd
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#264221 - 10/02/14 06:57 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11796
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11796
Loc: GA USA
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Like fj said this is a lyric that sings -- a
pretty melody with a fascinating and
effective instrumental choice and arrangement.
Hauntingly beautiful. It really sticks with one.
Kudos!!
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#264257 - 10/02/14 11:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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I thought it was a bit on the "thin side" - your instruments all being softer, higher-eq type instruments. There's a real trick to getting a transparent mix, and it seems I either err on the side of too little or too much. It makes me appreciate it that much more when I hear someone else's mix. I enjoyed the experience of your song. And it was that... an experience. A good thing. Thanks! That means a lot to me, coming from you.
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#264258 - 10/02/14 11:28 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: Janice & Bud]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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Hauntingly beautiful. It really sticks with one. Thanks! 
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#264279 - 10/03/14 03:44 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 578
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Journeyman
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 578
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
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David, Nice melody. I'm a big fan of major7 chords.  I like your instrumentation and the mix as well. I thought both versions were good... maybe leaning a little to the ruff mix one. Oh and Wow... You do sing! Nice Job! Greg
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#264289 - 10/03/14 07:10 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17769
Loc: Australia
Veteran
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17769
Loc: Australia
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Hi David,
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this. It's beautiful writing and arranging. Both versions are terrific but I personally favour the demo version because of the depth of sound.
By the way, there's no need to apologise for repeating words like you have. These are polyptotons. It's an advanced lyric-writing technique involving the use words that share the same root but have different grammatical functions. In these lyrics, you have used a couple of verb/noun polyptotons. (For what it's worth, these are more often used within the main lyric rather than the title - just like you did.)
You're in good company with songs like "Dream A Little Dream Of Me", "Falling In Love With Love", "I Dreamed A Dream" (from Les Miserables).
Regards,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS
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#264303 - 10/03/14 09:37 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Memory Eternal
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2767
Loc: South Africa
Veteran
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2767
Loc: South Africa
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Hi David
Nice to have you back! The flute at the beginning caught me right off. Very nice production all round.
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