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#267628 11/07/14 02:40 PM
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Last stand? or last straw?...

The Band:
Style is _FSPWLZ4.STY (Uptempo PopWaltz PnoMando[180RS])
RealTracks in style: ~~1178:Bass, Electric, PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1188:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1182:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1186:Mandolin, Rhythm PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1105:Banjo, Rhythm BluegrassWaltz Ev 140
RealDrums in Song: PopRockWaltzBrushesEv: a: Brushes b: PopRockWaltzBrushesEv

I played an acoustic guitar track and the leads.


SHE'S TRIED EVERYTHING

if she had a good reason she could make her last stand
a last ditch attempt to keep that ring on her hand
but his love's grown cold....she can't understand
she's tried everything

she promised to honor, trust, and obey
but they gave her no rules for when love slips away
alone at the crossroads.... not sure of her way
she's tried everything

   she's tried to be more than a friend
   a lover, a mother, the rock where he stands
   holding on, holding out, hoping he'll love her again
   she's tried to bring back the romance
   and time after time given him one last chance
   how could they let what they had slip right thru their hands
   but she's tried everything

she leaves her key in the kitchen, and a note on the mirror
as she closes the front gate, her conscience is clear
she hesitates for a moment, but all doubt's disappeared
cause she knows she's tried everything
she's tried everything... oh... everything

if she had a good reason she could make her last stand
but she drives away.... no ring on her hand



Thanks for listening.
Comments encouraged.

floyd

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Hi Floyd

Great song, as usual. I particularly enjoyed this couplet:

she promised to honor, trust, and obey
but they gave her no rules for when love slips away

Your vocals always impress us, as well as your arrangements. No exception here.

What was that high-frequency XF? not something I would have expected in this song, but it works perfectly. Thanks for a real sweet listen! Our ears are always smiling after listening to one of your songs.

Best to you,

Alan & Di


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Originally Posted By: Al-David

What was that high-frequency XF? not something I would have expected in this song, but it works perfectly.


Thanks, Alan! What you are hearing is guitar (my Strat) with 2 different types of delay really pounding it....

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Hey floyd!

Another mighty fine work to add to the fj songbook. I'm going to pop back a little later to talk about the lyrics. At the moment, though, I wanted to feel the thrill of posting early in a thread smile It's such a rare event for me!

I love the way you've used waltz RTs and have turned out something that has the rhythmical lilt I associate with 6/8 rather than a waltz.

Really enjoyable music!

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
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Hi Floyd,

We tried to post this earlier (we would have been the first to react) but couldn't log in.

We like this one very much, both the lyrics and musical arrangement.
That style you are using is quite similar to the one I used in Amanda.
The lead guitar also sounds very nice, particularly those high-pitched notes, they do create a very nice atmosphere in the song.
The lyrics then: quite a complete story we think. The reasons why she's leaving become quite clear throughout the song.

Very well done!
Rob & Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
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Beautiful job Floyd!! I tried to comment earlier but the site was down. Great combination of music and lyrics that perfectly delivers the melancholy emotion. One of my favorites of yours (although it is a pretty big list)!! Take care. Greg

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Hi Floyd.

First thing I thought when I put this track on was "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers. So much so, that when the track finished I put Golden Brown on, but strangely it didn't sound at all like your song. Weird.

But hey, what another masterpiece you've crafted.

I always find it difficult to get a groove going in waltz time, but you seem to have managed it without any trouble. Listened to it twice now and still can't find even the smallest thing to criticize this time.

Going back for another try.

ROG.

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Nice Song/Vocals, easy feel and well put together

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Hi, Floyd !:))

One of your best, without doubt !:))
It is so good that I can leave
for Stockholm in a very fine mood !:))

Cheers
Dani

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Another fj goodie. Keep 'em comin'!


Regards,

Bob

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I thought I already commented on this song, but I don't see it.. so here goes again:

1) for some reason I PARTICULARLY like your lyrics to this song! I mean, I ALWAYS like your lyrics, but the rhyme and meter of these words works very well for me. And the story is very simply stated and masterfully delivered. Also, the alliteration was very effective as used. By that I mean that it ADDED to the mood of the song, it didn't come across as just as a song-writing device you read about and wanted to use in a project.

2) your use of the strat with very wet effects created a haunting and powerful motif in the background. I can see that being the identifying signature sound in the song when radio stations ask their listeners to identify your song from a sound byte.

3) Also by using something of your own as a key element in the composition, you instantly plow a whole new field . It is clearly NOT a combination of the same RTs the rest of us are using. It's new, different and therefore especially exciting.

4) in fact, I think the most original-sounding songs use BIAB for the rhythm parts (which always tend to be generic, even on pro songs... there are only so many ways you can strum a chord) then use your own signature passages for solos and decorations. Surprising how a few played tracks can make the whole song your own.

5) as far as the "sounds like" factor is concerned: the song that kept popping into my mind was Seger's MAIN STREET

6) The whole song developed a situation of futility which introduced tension, and subsequently the urge to "do something, anything, just fix this mess of a life"; but for me, the song progressed faster than my emotions could keep up. The strategic pause at the end provided just enough time for the emotional payload to finish "downloading"... then you provided the resolution. If that was your plan, it worked nicely. (Even if it WASN'T your plan, it worked nicely.)

7) I sincerely hope that the devil never approaches me with a deal in which he gets my soul in exchange for a few months of being able to do what you do.. because I'd probably go for it.


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floyd, by now it is clear to all of us that you take great care in crafting your lyrics. This is another fine example of the high level of craftsmanship in your songwriting. Good choice of real tracks to set the wistful mood. Well sung and OH YEAH- live guitar. That helps to bring things to the next level. I am a big believer in signature licks. I believe it helps to identify a song quickly in the intro and can make an imprint in the listener's mind that makes it familiar and more friendly. Great production and mix as usual. The quality and quantity of your work never fails to astound me. Tom

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hi Floyd great lyrics this is awesome tune love the guitar work very engaging the mix is clear nice work thanks for sharing eric


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Floyd, great piece! I guess this is the song you mentioned in your comment on my recent post that you were working on incorporating the mandolin and style I used on my song. Even if not, it is a good example for me to study and absorb how you 'see' and incorporate it.

At the risk of going solo out on a limb here, in my opinion, I think this is your most original song you've posted since I have been on the forum. ROG says, "First thing I thought when I put this track on was "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers. So much so, that when the track finished I put Golden Brown on, but strangely it didn't sound at all like your song." One may feel elements of other artists influences in your work but in the end, it is uniquely you.

I really enjoyed the song and production. My thoughts on this particular song is the sum of all the previous posts made before I was able to get back on line. (thought PGMusic put me in time-out for being off key on my last submission)

This is one of my favorites.

Charlie


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Hi Floyd,

great lyrics as always.
Good choice of real tracks as always.
Great vocals as always.
A live guitar which is capturing your attention: that's new.
Great mix as always.
Several enjoyable listens as always.
I've been a fan since September 2012 when I first heard one of your songs.

Guenter

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Hey Floyd,

Loved the Bob Seger Main Street sound on the guitar and the intimate vocal was right in the pocket. Good write. AABA is such a great form when done well as it is here.

Josie

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After listening several more times, I have two more observations to make:

1) at the 1:37 marker, you introduce another guitar briefly. It's the only place in the song you use it, and IMO, it isn't necessary. What you're already doing at that part is working very well, and after a few listens the changeup instrument started to become distracting, diverting my attention away from the interesting state of melancholy you had been luring my mind into.

2) at the end of the song, It might be interesting to hear a version in which you simply end the instrumental accompaniment when the final words are spoken (as opposed to coming back in to complete the logical progression.)

I think that would have the effect of leaving the song unresolved, which ending would be consistent with the disconcerting mood of the rest of the song.

(hey, you said comments are welcome... you never said they had to be any good)
;-)

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Originally Posted By: Noel96
Hey floyd!

Another mighty fine work to add to the fj songbook. I'm going to pop back a little later to talk about the lyrics. At the moment, though, I wanted to feel the thrill of posting early in a thread smile It's such a rare event for me!

I love the way you've used waltz RTs and have turned out something that has the rhythmical lilt I associate with 6/8 rather than a waltz.

Really enjoyable music!

All the best,
Noel

Noel - I have to admit... most music terminology escapes me... I have no idea what 6/8 might sounds like... smile


Originally Posted By: R & AM
Hi Floyd,

We tried to post this earlier (we would have been the first to react) but couldn't log in.

We like this one very much, both the lyrics and musical arrangement.
That style you are using is quite similar to the one I used in Amanda.
The lead guitar also sounds very nice, particularly those high-pitched notes, they do create a very nice atmosphere in the song.
The lyrics then: quite a complete story we think. The reasons why she's leaving become quite clear throughout the song.

Very well done!
Rob & Anne-Marie

Rob & Anne-Marie - thanks! I do appreciate that. I've started using Styles a bit more lately - I just poked around until I found something that seemed to fit this song as I play it on guitar and this was the result...


Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Beautiful job Floyd!! I tried to comment earlier but the site was down. Great combination of music and lyrics that perfectly delivers the melancholy emotion. One of my favorites of yours (although it is a pretty big list)!! Take care. Greg

Greg - Thank you! (time for your next one, too....)

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Hi Floyd,

I really like this song....it has a good flow to it and good lyrics....

Sometimes less is better....I heard a very high lead or backing track with tons of reverb that in my humble opinion didn't seem to fit the rest of the song....

This song has a country feel to it and I think you should strip it down a bit and give it a more natural or earthy sound...

Just trying to help...

Horst


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Lots of good comments and observations already so I'll pretty much leave it at that.

I found myself wondering what, exactly, "He" was doing or not doing. I thought you could have put several lines in there describing somewhat of his behavior that lead her to that place and time. Just a thought for the future because I know you're not going to go back and rewrite a verse just for this.

Yes, I especially like the way you craft the meter of the melody in the lines.

The guitar at the beginning is off to a good start.... (talking about your live one) Not what I'd call a signature lick, but certainly a really appropriate intro fill. I tend to use fills a lot. Someone mentioned Bob Segar's Main Street.... Yes, now that's a superb example of a signature lick, it starts the song and shows up throughout the song. Toward the end it starts to variate a bit but keeps the overall feel and tone regardless. Wonderful Tonight is another great classic signature lick that plays throughout the song by Clapton.
On the lead in your song, as the song rolled on, however, I found the lead to be a bit distracting as it played behind the other tracks in a few places. It wasn't in too many places so it's not a big deal. It was more like a meandering series of notes relying on the FX for it's dramatic effect. The easy solution is to mute it in the balance of the song. However, I do think that a proper, nicely crafted signature lick for this song would really set it off nicely. Signature licks tend to be pretty simple melodic riffs that will fit well in numerous places in the song and gives it a musical cohesion apart from the lyrics or anything else.

As always, I'm picking out the really small details because everything else on this song is so well crafted.

Well done my friend.


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www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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