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#302387 - 07/10/15 06:45 AM [User Showcase] One More Rhino
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
When Joanne first asked if I would be interested in writing a "rhino song" I wondered... "how could anyone do that?"
But, I figured I'd give it a try... and a couple hours later, this was done.
BIAB is incredible.

It's very cool that Tom's rhino song is from such a different perspective...
It's even cooler that Joanne is spearheading this..


ONE MORE RHINO

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino

rich man in a distant land
pays his gold, holds out his hand
believing magic to cure his ills
a majestic beast ground down to pills

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino

stand up, raise your voice
this must be stopped, we've got no choice
who is watching, who protects
money changes hands, no one checks

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino


the BAND:

RealTracks in song: ~520:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 165
RealTracks in song: 378:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming DoubleTime Ev 088
RealTracks in song: 836:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AltCountryRootsy Ev 075 (A:muted)
RealTracks in song: 793:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming ModernCountrySync Ev 100
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride
RealDrums in Song: CountryEven8: a: Brushes, HiHat b: Snare, Ride


Joanne - thanks for asking!
Thanks to everyone else for listening.
Comments encouraged. Have at it.

floyd

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#302393 - 07/10/15 07:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17769
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17769
Loc: Australia
floyd,

Congratulations on such a great song. This is outstanding! The lyrics are incredibly visual and pack a huge punch with their message. In addition, the musical arrangement that frames the message showcases the song to perfection. At the end, I just sat here thinking and the imagery of the chorus was still unrolling inside my head. It was around 10 seconds before I realised that the song was over. This is a very powerful creation that you've put together! I can't believe that you came up with the concept in such a short time. This song will go places for sure!

Regards,
Noel
_________________________
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#302395 - 07/10/15 07:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 03/04/03
Posts: 442
Loc: Maine
Guitartist Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 03/04/03
Posts: 442
Loc: Maine
Excellent job, Floyd!

I love your singing and the instrumentation supports it beautifully. The mix and the arrangement are spot-on. Perhaps most importantly, though, is the message. Great lyrics!

Ron
_________________________
UltraPAK 2021, 27" late 2012 iMac, 16 GB RAM, OSX 10.15.7
Logic Pro X 10.6.3

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#302399 - 07/10/15 08:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8255
Guitarhacker Offline
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8255
cool tune.... yup, writing to this topic is not a walk in the park.... but you did a fine job.
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As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#302403 - 07/10/15 08:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
gibson Offline
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
floyd,

the first time I heard this I went WOW, such a good song in such a short time.
But then you and good songs are synonymous.

It's a hard write for a good cause, and you did well!

OUTSTANDING

Alyn
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#302404 - 07/10/15 09:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!
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Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

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#302408 - 07/10/15 11:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3289
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3289
Loc: York, England
Hi Floyd.

Full of admiration. I wouldn't know where to start writing for this one.

Excellent lyrics - moving without being sentimental and sung in the same way.

Great backing track and perfect arrangement the way it builds and then winds down again.

A very tasteful and effective way of getting across the message.

ROG.

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#302426 - 07/10/15 02:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Noel96
floyd,

Congratulations on such a great song. This is outstanding! The lyrics are incredibly visual and pack a huge punch with their message. In addition, the musical arrangement that frames the message showcases the song to perfection. At the end, I just sat here thinking and the imagery of the chorus was still unrolling inside my head. It was around 10 seconds before I realised that the song was over. This is a very powerful creation that you've put together! I can't believe that you came up with the concept in such a short time. This song will go places for sure!

Regards,
Noel


Thanks for that, Noel... I like that 10 second pause... if we can affect people with our music, perhaps there is hope...

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#302433 - 07/10/15 04:16 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3628
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3628
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Floyd,

A cool song and I very much like that initial realtrack in the beginning. Will check that out too.
This is a great result for just four hours of work...
One little nit: the lead vocal appears to be a little too loud in the mix, but that's just my opinion.

Rob
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#302446 - 07/10/15 07:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Floyd, I love the sparse production building then backing away again on this song. It really reinforces the lyrics and your vocal and the theme - one more rhino. Well done. Good luck with it.
_________________________
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I'm moving most of my music off Soundcloud.
Click my Youtube link above to hear my songs.
Thank you.

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#302453 - 07/10/15 08:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 07/10/15
Posts: 1936
Loc: Miami, Florida
Planobilly Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/10/15
Posts: 1936
Loc: Miami, Florida
Well Mr. Floyd....I was super impressed, by both the music, the lyrics, and the vocals.

I just got BIAB and just got to this site. I often write songs about things that really matter but little is sung about.

The lyrics were more than professional and shows a command of the language that I could only wish for.

I have a strange feeling I may have found a home here that I been lookin for with some real people who have something to say worth hearing.

Thanks for being you.

Cheers,

Billy
_________________________
Sears, Roebuck and Co guitar, Black Diamond Strings, RCA Victor Radio ASCAP Writer/Publisher IPI Number: 1117481473 Songwriters Guild Of America And All My EX'S actually do LIVE IN Texas

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

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#302457 - 07/10/15 09:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1719
Loc: New Zealand
RichMac Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1719
Loc: New Zealand
Lovely chorus Floyd especially the first time through with just guitar and your voice.
Good strong stuff. Cheers.
_________________________
https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge



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#302466 - 07/11/15 05:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2766
Loc: South Africa
JoanneCooper Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2766
Loc: South Africa
The generosity and creativity of people on this forum continues to astound me. Thank you Floyd for rising to the challenge so beautifully and making me think that it would indeed be possible to put together an album of songs about the plight of the rhino. Every song is unique and adds to the entire collection.

I am busy working with the foundation to try and find a sponsor to cover the not inconsiderable cost of manufacturing 5000 memory sticks which will be disturbed via a large local stationary store (with the music preloaded). The memory sticks will be in the shape of a rhino and will have the logos of the foundation as well as the sponsor printed on it.

We have also managed to get some very well known South Africa artists to commit to doing a song for the album. Some of these artists don't have the time to write a song so will be willing to consider a song from another songwriter.

If anybody would like to write a song either for inclusion on the album or for consideration by one of these artist, there is still time while we search for a sponsor. Please don't hesitate to send me a pm.
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#302471 - 07/11/15 06:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: PgFantastic]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Floyd,
Originally Posted By: PgFantastic
Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!

Like others I also like the build of the arrangement.
Thanks for taking part in Joanne's great project.

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

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#302484 - 07/11/15 08:22 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 1780
Loc: Florida, USA
cubanpete Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 1780
Loc: Florida, USA
Hi Floyd, how could you doubt yourself? Of course you can do it if anyone can! Great performance and mix as usual. See, that's what I envy about you writers...the writing! I certainly couldn't do it.

Later

Mike B.
_________________________
Music should be part of your life
http://www.soundclick.com/blackcatjazzcafeband

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#302510 - 07/11/15 03:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: Guitarhacker]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Guitartist
Excellent job, Floyd!

I love your singing and the instrumentation supports it beautifully. The mix and the arrangement are spot-on. Perhaps most importantly, though, is the message. Great lyrics!

Ron

Thanks, Ron... appreciate that..


Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
cool tune.... yup, writing to this topic is not a walk in the park.... but you did a fine job.


Thanks, Herb...

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#302512 - 07/11/15 03:50 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Interesting musical bed you created for this one. Liked it a lot.

Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2022:RB 2022, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.

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#302554 - 07/12/15 06:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: PgFantastic]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: gibson
floyd,

the first time I heard this I went WOW, such a good song in such a short time.
But then you and good songs are synonymous.

It's a hard write for a good cause, and you did well!

OUTSTANDING

Alyn

Thank you, Alyn...


Originally Posted By: PgFantastic
Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!

Thanks, Robert... I appreciate that...

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#302584 - 07/12/15 12:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: ROG]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10213
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.

Full of admiration. I wouldn't know where to start writing for this one.

Excellent lyrics - moving without being sentimental and sung in the same way.

Great backing track and perfect arrangement the way it builds and then winds down again.

A very tasteful and effective way of getting across the message.

ROG.


ROG - I really appreciate that very kind review...

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#302586 - 07/12/15 12:55 PM [User Showcase] Re: One More Rhino [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3495
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3495
Loc: Florida
floyd, Great use of real tracks. The opening guitar and the way you brought in the kick, excellent! The drums sound great and propel it along at just the right time. This is an excellent write and I really hope it gets heard by a much larger audience. Once again you have shown us how powerful this program is when put in the hands of a great writer and arranger. Well done! Tom

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