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#302387 07/10/15 02:45 AM
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When Joanne first asked if I would be interested in writing a "rhino song" I wondered... "how could anyone do that?"
But, I figured I'd give it a try... and a couple hours later, this was done.
BIAB is incredible.

It's very cool that Tom's rhino song is from such a different perspective...
It's even cooler that Joanne is spearheading this..


ONE MORE RHINO

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino

rich man in a distant land
pays his gold, holds out his hand
believing magic to cure his ills
a majestic beast ground down to pills

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino

stand up, raise your voice
this must be stopped, we've got no choice
who is watching, who protects
money changes hands, no one checks

one more rhino hits the ground
poacher's bullet lays him down
the great beast crashes
the knife blade flashes
in the midday sun
will you turn a blind eye
'til there's only one
'til the madman leave us
just one more rhino


the BAND:

RealTracks in song: ~520:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 165
RealTracks in song: 378:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming DoubleTime Ev 088
RealTracks in song: 836:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AltCountryRootsy Ev 075 (A:muted)
RealTracks in song: 793:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming ModernCountrySync Ev 100
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride
RealDrums in Song: CountryEven8: a: Brushes, HiHat b: Snare, Ride


Joanne - thanks for asking!
Thanks to everyone else for listening.
Comments encouraged. Have at it.

floyd

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floyd,

Congratulations on such a great song. This is outstanding! The lyrics are incredibly visual and pack a huge punch with their message. In addition, the musical arrangement that frames the message showcases the song to perfection. At the end, I just sat here thinking and the imagery of the chorus was still unrolling inside my head. It was around 10 seconds before I realised that the song was over. This is a very powerful creation that you've put together! I can't believe that you came up with the concept in such a short time. This song will go places for sure!

Regards,
Noel


MY SONGS...
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Excellent job, Floyd!

I love your singing and the instrumentation supports it beautifully. The mix and the arrangement are spot-on. Perhaps most importantly, though, is the message. Great lyrics!

Ron


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cool tune.... yup, writing to this topic is not a walk in the park.... but you did a fine job.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.

You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
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floyd,

the first time I heard this I went WOW, such a good song in such a short time.
But then you and good songs are synonymous.

It's a hard write for a good cause, and you did well!

OUTSTANDING

Alyn

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Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!


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Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hi Floyd.

Full of admiration. I wouldn't know where to start writing for this one.

Excellent lyrics - moving without being sentimental and sung in the same way.

Great backing track and perfect arrangement the way it builds and then winds down again.

A very tasteful and effective way of getting across the message.

ROG.

Noel96 #302426 07/10/15 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted By: Noel96
floyd,

Congratulations on such a great song. This is outstanding! The lyrics are incredibly visual and pack a huge punch with their message. In addition, the musical arrangement that frames the message showcases the song to perfection. At the end, I just sat here thinking and the imagery of the chorus was still unrolling inside my head. It was around 10 seconds before I realised that the song was over. This is a very powerful creation that you've put together! I can't believe that you came up with the concept in such a short time. This song will go places for sure!

Regards,
Noel


Thanks for that, Noel... I like that 10 second pause... if we can affect people with our music, perhaps there is hope...

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Hi Floyd,

A cool song and I very much like that initial realtrack in the beginning. Will check that out too.
This is a great result for just four hours of work...
One little nit: the lead vocal appears to be a little too loud in the mix, but that's just my opinion.

Rob


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Floyd, I love the sparse production building then backing away again on this song. It really reinforces the lyrics and your vocal and the theme - one more rhino. Well done. Good luck with it.

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Well Mr. Floyd....I was super impressed, by both the music, the lyrics, and the vocals.

I just got BIAB and just got to this site. I often write songs about things that really matter but little is sung about.

The lyrics were more than professional and shows a command of the language that I could only wish for.

I have a strange feeling I may have found a home here that I been lookin for with some real people who have something to say worth hearing.

Thanks for being you.

Cheers,

Billy


New location, new environment, new music coming soon

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If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you probably have deja-moo
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Lovely chorus Floyd especially the first time through with just guitar and your voice.
Good strong stuff. Cheers.

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The generosity and creativity of people on this forum continues to astound me. Thank you Floyd for rising to the challenge so beautifully and making me think that it would indeed be possible to put together an album of songs about the plight of the rhino. Every song is unique and adds to the entire collection.

I am busy working with the foundation to try and find a sponsor to cover the not inconsiderable cost of manufacturing 5000 memory sticks which will be disturbed via a large local stationary store (with the music preloaded). The memory sticks will be in the shape of a rhino and will have the logos of the foundation as well as the sponsor printed on it.

We have also managed to get some very well known South Africa artists to commit to doing a song for the album. Some of these artists don't have the time to write a song so will be willing to consider a song from another songwriter.

If anybody would like to write a song either for inclusion on the album or for consideration by one of these artist, there is still time while we search for a sponsor. Please don't hesitate to send me a pm.


LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024.
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Hi Floyd,
Originally Posted By: PgFantastic
Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!

Like others I also like the build of the arrangement.
Thanks for taking part in Joanne's great project.

Guenter

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Hi Floyd, how could you doubt yourself? Of course you can do it if anyone can! Great performance and mix as usual. See, that's what I envy about you writers...the writing! I certainly couldn't do it.

Later

Mike B.


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Originally Posted By: Guitartist
Excellent job, Floyd!

I love your singing and the instrumentation supports it beautifully. The mix and the arrangement are spot-on. Perhaps most importantly, though, is the message. Great lyrics!

Ron

Thanks, Ron... appreciate that..


Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
cool tune.... yup, writing to this topic is not a walk in the park.... but you did a fine job.


Thanks, Herb...

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Interesting musical bed you created for this one. Liked it a lot.

Charlie


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Originally Posted By: gibson
floyd,

the first time I heard this I went WOW, such a good song in such a short time.
But then you and good songs are synonymous.

It's a hard write for a good cause, and you did well!

OUTSTANDING

Alyn

Thank you, Alyn...


Originally Posted By: PgFantastic
Excellent work; the vocal is just brilliant, as well as the harmonies. Great set of lyrics as well! The mix sounds radio ready; thanks for sharing!

Thanks, Robert... I appreciate that...

ROG #302584 07/12/15 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.

Full of admiration. I wouldn't know where to start writing for this one.

Excellent lyrics - moving without being sentimental and sung in the same way.

Great backing track and perfect arrangement the way it builds and then winds down again.

A very tasteful and effective way of getting across the message.

ROG.


ROG - I really appreciate that very kind review...

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floyd, Great use of real tracks. The opening guitar and the way you brought in the kick, excellent! The drums sound great and propel it along at just the right time. This is an excellent write and I really hope it gets heard by a much larger audience. Once again you have shown us how powerful this program is when put in the hands of a great writer and arranger. Well done! Tom

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