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#307348 - 08/17/15 10:31 AM
[User Showcase]
NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
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Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
Enthusiast
Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
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Well I finally had some time to finish another song that I've been working on. I had a tougher time with this one as it came along pretty slowly over the past few months and has undergone many revisions. Here are the tracks used: Drums: NashvilleEven16 Percussion: Loop - Conga 8ths Bass: Electric Pop Sync Ev 135 ~521 Ac Guitar: Acoustic Syncopated Sugar Ev 102 ~380 El Guitar: Electric Rhythm Dire Ev 085 ~508 Piano: Acoustic Rhythm Pop16 Ev16 085 ~1767 I originally tried a realtrack guitar solo throughout but couldn't get it right so replaced it with sax of course)) The first five notes of the sax riff are Dream, Dream, Dream from the Everly's if you can spot them. Any way here it is: When I See You in My Dreams As always, thanks for finding the time to listen. Lyrics for those interested: Just the other night I woke up dreaming or it could've been that I was make-believing it was true. Then you faded out of view. Some dreams you don't recall. Others keep returning. Like the stars that fall the brightest ones keep burning thru igniting memories anew. I get a sweet surprise each time I close my eyes and drift away. When I see you in my dreams you take me there again back where it all began. When I see you in my dreams reliving every frame it always goes the same. Variations on a theme each time I see you in my dreams. I should find a way. Maybe tomorrow I will throw these dreams away and cast aside the sorrow too. It's not an easy thing to do. 'Cause when I close my eyes I will find you in the corner of my mind. When I see you in my dreams you take me there again back where it all began. When I see you in my dreams I'll hear you say the lines hold onto every word until you find away until you can't be heard. And there's static on the screen every time I see you in my dreams
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#307358 - 08/17/15 12:01 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10212
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10212
Loc: Florida
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Jeff,
This is really nice.
Your writing is so "comfortable" - simple, but not trite - a real skill - Fogelberg did that ...Jackson Browne does that. Nice.
Your vocal is a delight to listen to (nicely recorded, too). Nice harmonies.
The arrangement and mix are excellent. Your sax is sweet (although a little "bright" compared to everything else in the mix).
A great listen.
floyd
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#307373 - 08/17/15 01:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3627
Loc: The Netherlands
Veteran
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3627
Loc: The Netherlands
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Hello Jeff,
We are very pleasantly surprised to hear such a quality song!
The lead vocal (which has a striking similarity with Timothy B Schmit) is top notch. The backing vocals (again sound very much like the Eagles) are also very professional.
One little nit, and we agree with Floyd on this, the sax is slightly too loud and too bright in the mix.
Looking forward to hearing more of you.
Rob and Anne-Marie
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#307385 - 08/17/15 03:24 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 08/04/15
Posts: 84
Enthusiast
Registered: 08/04/15
Posts: 84
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Very nicely done. It is harder than it appears to write a convincing pop song, and you have done just that. The arrangement is simple and works in support of the song, and you sing well, solo and backup.
I agree with the previous poster - the sax is a bit too prominent. I'll also bet if you worked at it, you might find a better RealTrack that would make a solo that fit in a bit better, but that's also a taste judgement.
All in all, good listen.
-MWG
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#307393 - 08/17/15 07:33 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5119
Loc: Sacramento, California
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Very pleasant, catchy pop!
I agree with the previous posters about the sax, as well as all the positive things they've said.
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#307394 - 08/17/15 07:38 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Veteran
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
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Top notch at every level. Very professionally done. I agree that your vocals have the Eagles vibe to them which made your song that much more fun to listen to. Great job. Enjoyed this one from start to finish.
Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2022:RB 2022, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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#307410 - 08/17/15 09:34 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Veteran
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
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SUPERB WORK; great vocal; and the production sounds great; thanks for sharing!
_________________________
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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#307417 - 08/18/15 01:44 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4812
Loc: Sydney Australia
Veteran
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4812
Loc: Sydney Australia
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Very nice. And like everyone else the vocals and harmonies were excellent.
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#307476 - 08/18/15 08:00 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11794
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11794
Loc: GA USA
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"Some dreams you don't recall.
Others keep returning.
Like the stars that fall
the brightest ones keep burning thru
igniting memories anew.'
Outstanding. floyd mentioned Jackson Browne and we
also feel that -- the fluidity of it all is very impressive
and nice to the ears. The mix is super clean all the way
around. Very nice harmony.
Superb!
J&B
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#307525 - 08/18/15 03:57 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: Janice & Bud]
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Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
Enthusiast
Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
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Thanks to all for the generous feedback -- valuable as always. Several commented on the sax being a bit too loud in the mix and I would agree as well. I'm still searching for the best way to record and mix the sax into the BiaB stuff. I'll keep trying)))
Floyd, Janice and Bud - Thanks for your comments about the lyrics. You guys have certainly provided several great examples on this forum in that regard.
Rob and Anne-Marie - Thanks for listening and for the flattering comparison. I certainly aspire to reach your professional level of production.
MWG - Thanks your feedback on the arrangement. Glad it worked for you.
David - Thanks for taking the time. Greatly appreciated.
Charlie - I always appreciate an Eagles reference. One of my favorites)))
Robert - Thanks for the comments and good luck with your project.
Peter - Thank you for the kind feedback.
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#307625 - 08/19/15 04:52 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17392
Loc: Hamlin NY
Veteran
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 17392
Loc: Hamlin NY
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Everything that I wanted to say already has been said.
You vocals are outstanding! As are your harmonies!
I would not replace the sax. I would just add a little EQ to it.
Super song!
_________________________
You know you're in trouble when you leave a memory improvement class and can't remember where you parked your car!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware
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#307814 - 08/21/15 09:33 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 07/10/15
Posts: 1936
Loc: Miami, Florida
Expert
Registered: 07/10/15
Posts: 1936
Loc: Miami, Florida
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Hi Jeff,
Very good vocal and lyrical content. The harmonies were very well done.
Very nice song to listen to.
Cheers,
Billy
_________________________
Sears, Roebuck and Co guitar, Black Diamond Strings, RCA Victor Radio ASCAP Writer/Publisher IPI Number: 1117481473 Songwriters Guild Of America And All My EX'S actually do LIVE IN Texas
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
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#307816 - 08/21/15 09:38 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: JPeden73]
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Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 8688
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC USA
Veteran
Registered: 08/20/11
Posts: 8688
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC USA
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Jeff,
Nice sounding production and a well crafted song. As others have pointed out the sax is too prominent as compared to your vocals. I agree with Mario that using EQ to cut some high frequencies might help. Curious if the sax RealTrack was the inspiration to do the modulations? It is very interesting when you did them.
Really enjoy hearing your lead and harmony vocals. Boy but your voice sits well in that mix. Very difficult to do but you just nailed it.
This is a really good song to listen to. In fact I'm going to listen again.
_________________________
Jim Fogle - 2022 BiaB (923) RB (Build 4) Ultra+ PAK Cakewalk - Zoom MRS-8 recorder Desktop: i7 Win 10 build 2004, 12GB ram 256GB SSD, 4 TB HDD Laptop: i3 64bit Win 10 build 21H2, 8GB ram 500GB HDD Music at: https://fogle622.wix.com/fogle622-audio-home
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#307860 - 08/21/15 05:12 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW TRACK: When I See You in My Dreams
[Re: Jim Fogle]
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Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
Enthusiast
Registered: 08/03/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Iowa
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Mario - I agree with the EQ on the sax. I am still tinkering with the best way to record and mix wind instruments. Thanks for listening and for the kind comments.
Billy - Thanks for your comments and for the listen.
Jim - The modulation came first (G to E) and originally I had a guitar Realtrack doing the interludes. But I couldn't come up with something I liked, so I recorded myself on the sax at the last minute - hence the issues with being too bright. Thanks for the feedback. Most appreciated.
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