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I will address a couple of things - not as "defense" but as "explanation" - how and why I write as I do - we all have different "styles" shaped by our experience..
I wasn't trying to stir anything up... honest, guv'ner!  Given the level of craft that goes into your songs, I had figured that you'd made these decisions deliberately. That it didn't work for me is my loss. This is basically a "list song". The fact that she will "never fall in love again" is intentionally "one more thing" in the list. Like taking down pictures, her name from the mailbox, filling another box... Interesting... I didn't really hear it that way, mostly because all the other things were physical actions. I figured that you were simply not "connection the dots" for the reasons that you mentioned below. Leaving that to the listeners allows the listener to assign THEIR reasoning, from their experiences - which will tend to make that reasoning strong for them (for most, obviously not all). Yeah, that's one of those key things about songwriting: removing details so that it's open to a wider range of interpretation. Anyway, thanks for taking my criticism in the spirit it was intended. It's always good the hear your songs - and I always seem to take away something more about the craft of songwriting. 
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Very nice song and performance - vocals are as usual well recorded and harmonies compliment the tune.
Made me go and listen to more songs from your CD's.
Only small suggestion - perhaps bring the drums in a few bars later with a small drum fill lead in?
Liked how they dropped out and re-entered later in the song. Thanks, Peter. Yeah, I think the drums came in a bit too "hard"... so I will address that when I re-mix this... Floyd
More genius from you. You have mastered this.
The harmonies, the build, fantastic lyrics, delivered with a superb vocal arrangement.
Thanks, another high score
Trevor
Trevor - I really appreciate that...always pleased to see you drop by for a listen...
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Excellent....again.  Like everything about this one. Regards, Bob Thanks, Bob! I agree with this assessment. The chorus was lacking that certain something. The song felt incomplete and unfinished as a result... perhaps a better way to say it is "unsatisfying" in a musical sense. It didn't go where I hoped it would as I was listening. Aside from that...everything else is up to your usual high standards of excellence. Again...there is no chorus. Since you copied David's thoughts, see my response to him... Not the first time I haven't gone where you expected... I'm okay with that. Predictability breeds mediocrity. If you color outside the lines once in a while, then you get some variety instead of everything sounding the same all the time. The music is quite satisfying to me as it stands (as well as most others, it seems). Can't please 'em all... Thanks for stopping by for a listen.
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Hi Floyd,
The vocal was good enough that, what every could have been done in structure differently does not much matter to me.
The lyrics paint a really good picture of the events that transpired. The "You'll never fall in love again" line was for me a good idea because it expressed the emotional pain of the situation and the fear of past failure and fear of the future.
The "things" she was packing up denoted a bit of sad memories and most likely some good memories, some mixed emotions as it were.
The "You'll never fall in love again" was a strong fear based function.
I would not change anything.
Good work, a good song. I need to go back and listen to some of your other songs to get a better idea of how you think.
Cheers,
Billy
New location, new environment, new music coming soon
Seize the moo-ment
If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you probably have deja-moo
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Floyd,
I like the song. I don't normally listen to lyrics but I try to in your songs because I realize they are the reason for every Floyd Jane production.
You've captured the melancholy mood of separation very well.
Jim Fogle - 2024 BiaB (1111) RB (5) Ultra+ PAK DAWs: Cakewalk by BandLab (CbB) - Standalone: Zoom MRS-8 Laptop: i3 Win 10, 8GB ram 500GB HDD Desktop: i7 Win 11, 12GB ram 256GB SSD, 4 TB HDD Music at: https://fogle622.wix.com/fogle622-audio-home
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When a family members marriage broke down, she called a taxi and put his dog in it and gave the taxi driver her ex's work address and told the taxi driver he would get paid at the other end of the jouney. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when the taxi arrived!
Wonderful song Floyd. Wonderful harmonies. Great stuff!
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
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Apprentice
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Hi Floyd,
Listened several times before commenting...
My favorite part of the song?
Pretty much everything between the intro and finish : )
But I would have to say that the transition from the bridge to the last verse was especially effective, both in the music and lyrics. You really know how to tie everything together in closing your songs, and this one is certainly no exception.
"You look out the window at nothing..." Great line. Keep 'em coming!
(Nice, Janice!)
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Hi Floyd,
there's nothing missing and nothing
disconnected. Just a a beautiful song.
So well written and performed! The piano
sounds like being played exactly for this
song. I love the Janettes.
A Floyd Jane classic!
Guenter Guenter - I do appreciate your support - your musical knowledge astounds me... Thanks for noticing the piano... and for the mention of the janettes! Another great tune from FJ. Fantastic lyrics, great choice and mix of the band as usual. Nicely done sir. Rob Thanks, Rob.
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sunday you'd nap and watch tv on the floor
make popcorn, play gin, and never keep score
now it's all packed in boxes and piled at the door
and you'll never fall in love again
That's just great writing, plain and simple. Not overly clever or complicated but just hits in the gut with the heart of the matter. The song brings a palpable reality to the sorrow of the death of a relationship. A relationship is not just the interface of two people but grows deep roots within each one. I can feel the pain of the separation as these roots are torn out in this song. It doesn't have a "hit" quality or a big chorus but I don't think every song is meant to. I would never spend a lot of time listening to only radio hits, even my favorite radio hits. I love a great pop hit, but it is only a small part of the set which makes up great music. This song certainly belongs in the other part of that set. I think it's a great song, and considering the writer, I'm not a bit surprised. Another gem Floyd!! Take care. Greg Well stated, Greg... and I appreciate the high praise from someone with your writing talents (which I think are considerable! looking forward to your next...)
your songs comes from another planet.
This song is a perfect song for a great 45
Beautiful.
Hello
Sergio.
Thank you, Sergio... I like that review! gave me a smile...
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Listening to this again, Janice commented on how strong the imagery is...she said
she felt like crying all the way through when she was doing her "janette" part.
"I just felt so sorry for her..."
A write that can make anybody feel that way much less your backup singer
is powerful stuff. i could look around a room and see the same objects that
you did...putting them so well into such a beautiful write is a completely different
thing.
Bud
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As someone who does not write songs with lyrics myself, all I can say is that to me it has a great production and sound, and the vocal sounded honest and genuine (and another shout out to the Janettes!). I really enjoyed listening to the song and I very much appreciate your songwriting craft! I'm not sure that always connecting all the dots works - I'd rather hear something a couple of times to develop my own take on it. Michael - thank you... really appreciate those thoughts... floyd (and the janettes)
what a good song, expressed all the despair in about 3 minutes.
I have to disagree with the comments about the lack of resolution and chorus. The "hook", if that is the correct terminology, is "you'll never fall in love again" and after a listen or two that keeps bouncing around in the mind.
In my opinion that is all that's needed in a song like this.
I can imagine the writer sitting at a table with a guitar in hand picking chords, paper and pen ready and tears in the eyes. First words: I'll never fall in love again because that is how he/she feels at the time. Been there and cried me a river.
excellent floyd
Alyn Thanks, Alyn. Appreciate your support - as always...
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what he's hoping to find, well, he just couldn't say
too bad your heart had to get in the way
don't get in the way
I love this part (bridge or lift) I'm surprised no one has mentioned it (unless I just missed it) it's beautiful and it adds a new dimension to the song. To me this is very good writing, I got more than just the point of view of the main character over and over.
The hook line stays in my head, it's original and strong but had me thinking of Harry Chapin, John Prine, the great John Hiatt. Good stuff!
Kenny
Kenny - Thanks for all of that! It's pleasing to have several different part of the lyric quoted - by the outstanding writers here, too... Also humbled by the comparisons... To add, yes, I agree with your comments Floyd.
I identified the 'and you'll never fall in love again' was just another item being added to an already painful list. The subtlety and innuendo spoke volumes, in my opinion anyway.
I didn't miss a chorus or specific pre-defined structure. The uniqueness and the solemn lyrics carried the song. Just my opinion though.
Trev And..thanks for that, as well, Trevor... this is such a terrifically supportive forum with so much talent...
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Floyd,
In my opinion, this is just great songwriting. I like formulas, as a rule. They help keep us on track, and help accomplish goals. But for me, music is a communication of relationships - love songs, breakup songs, worship songs, songs that reach out and touch you. As for me, when I listen to a song, I'm wanting it to touch me, whether it's to laugh, cry, rejoice, or whatever. If you can make all that work within a given formula, then that usually strengthens the song, and makes it more acceptable to a wider audience. Sometimes the song won't fit within a popular formula. It just stands on its own. In my opinion, this song stands on its own.
As to arrangements, I would do some things differently. But then you would do my songs differently. If we all did our arrangements the same, this would sure be a boring place! Bottom line: I really like this song. The vocals, arrangement, production is all very good, but I especially like the way you framed the lyrics.
Steve
Thank you, Steve... always means a lot coming from you... I always love your arrangements/productions - so anytime you want to suggest ways that you would have done one differently, I would love to hear it - ideas for the next one... This is beautiful Floyd!
Indeed excellent songwriting, professional arrangement and very cool backing vocals from both you and Janice.
Rob & Anne-Marie Thanks, guys...
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Good song. I really like the arrangement and especially how you let the piano carry the third verse. Perfect choice in my opinion.
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I wasn't trying to stir anything up... honest, guv'ner! I enjoyed the discussion, David... Hi Floyd,
The vocal was good enough that, what every could have been done in structure differently does not much matter to me.
The lyrics paint a really good picture of the events that transpired. The "You'll never fall in love again" line was for me a good idea because it expressed the emotional pain of the situation and the fear of past failure and fear of the future.
The "things" she was packing up denoted a bit of sad memories and most likely some good memories, some mixed emotions as it were.
The "You'll never fall in love again" was a strong fear based function.
I would not change anything.
Good work, a good song. I need to go back and listen to some of your other songs to get a better idea of how you think.
Cheers,
Billy Thanks, Billy... glad you stopped by... Floyd,
I like the song. I don't normally listen to lyrics but I try to in your songs because I realize they are the reason for every Floyd Jane production.
You've captured the melancholy mood of separation very well. I appreciate you having a listen, Jim...
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When a family members marriage broke down, she called a taxi and put his dog in it and gave the taxi driver her ex's work address and told the taxi driver he would get paid at the other end of the jouney. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when the taxi arrived!
Wonderful song Floyd. Wonderful harmonies. Great stuff!
HA! great story, Joanne... Hi Floyd,
Listened several times before commenting...
My favorite part of the song?
Pretty much everything between the intro and finish : )
But I would have to say that the transition from the bridge to the last verse was especially effective, both in the music and lyrics. You really know how to tie everything together in closing your songs, and this one is certainly no exception.
"You look out the window at nothing..." Great line. Keep 'em coming!
(Nice, Janice!) Thanks, Curt... appreciate that...
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Journeyman
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Very well done! Excellent song.
Cheers
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This is a really awesome song!!! Great storytelling, great playing, great everything!
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Another excellent song with the distinctive Floyd Jane sound. Good one Floyd. Cheers.
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Listening to this again, Janice commented on how strong the imagery is...she said
she felt like crying all the way through when she was doing her "janette" part.
"I just felt so sorry for her..."
A write that can make anybody feel that way much less your backup singer
is powerful stuff. i could look around a room and see the same objects that
you did...putting them so well into such a beautiful write is a completely different
thing.
Bud Thanks, Bud. And a huge thanks to your lovely wife for singing on this... Good song. I really like the arrangement and especially how you let the piano carry the third verse. Perfect choice in my opinion. Thanks, Lawrence....
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
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A few excerpts:
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