It would be nice to have harmony on the chorus - to my ear, the song seems to call for it.Heavy Handed Edit:
I've removed a mess I had written here earlier. In the song, the guy survives his medical problem. But on first listen - despite clearly saying that he was holding her hand - I was still left in doubt.
In thinking it through, I think the problem (for me) lay in the transition of the second verse. It starts out by reversing the situation, so that they've swapped roles. My first thought was to wonder Is the song singing about the same people?
Now, the song goes on to clarify that she's thinking about what he's said. And I'm fairly sure
that they're the same folk, but I'm wondering: why isn't he saying
what she's remembering?
It's not a big thing. But I think that small choice in the narrative opened the door to some doubt, and made me wonder if perhaps I'd mis-heard the lyric earlier. There were hints that he might not have survived his illness ("And even if He calls he home..."), and it's a country song, after all.
Anyway, nice work!