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#139841 - 12/09/11 02:53 PM [User Showcase] All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Here is another page in the history of men vs women - hope you enjoy it. As usual, if you have any ideas which might make the song any stronger please share them - I'm all ears . . . .
well at least what remains of them.

Many thanks to MarioD (DeLaura) and his trusted hearing for the mastering of this song.

Style is =WORK_ES
Musicians are
Jason Roller - RT411 – Acoustic Guitar
Jason Roller - RT413 – Electric Guitar
Brent Mason - RT1518 – Soloist WorkinBrent
Steve Hinson - RT613 - Resonator
Brian Fullen - Nashville2Beat

All Men Are Broken
Words & Music – 2010 – Ian Fraser

Alt. song link if needed

Baby called me “perfect”, that was back in the day,
Back in the day, I was perfect in every way,
Now she calls me broken, one way or another shade of gray.

All men are broken, some a little some a lot,
A little or a lot, some are broken some are not,
She’s done pretty good, whether I am broken or not.

“All men are broken” she complains all the time
"All men are broken, you need fixin’ inside"
If I am a work in progress, it’s no project but mine
“All men are broken” it’s her favorite whine.

Women, wine and song, men act naturally
Acting naturally, it’s what we do you see,
Can’t say men are broken, we’ve been planned genetically.

“All men are broken” she complains all the time
"All men are broken, you need fixin’ inside."
If am a work in progress, it’s no project but mine
“All men are broken” it’s her favorite whine.

All men are broken . . . your opinion only, baby.

Did I ever cause you pain?
You’re just yanking my chain
Whoa you’re lookin’ hot
Do you like me broken or not?
As naughty as you want,
I’ll be as broken as you flaunt.


Thanks for visiting - Ian
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My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139842 - 12/09/11 04:04 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Ian Fraser]
Registered: 05/29/00
Posts: 13792
PeterGannon Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 05/29/00
Posts: 13792
Nice tune and arrangement Ian!
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Peter Gannon
PG Music Inc.

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#139843 - 12/10/11 10:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: PeterGannon]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada


Much appreciated Peter - I've quite enjoyed using the tools
you've created to enable me to do this.
Beyond the final mastering, it was all done on BIAB and RB up to versions 2011.5.

Cheers - Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139844 - 12/26/11 10:00 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Ian Fraser]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
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Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
I've never recycled one of my songs before, so I hope no-one is offended by the fact that this will be my second time through. There's more method in my madness rather than ego.

I am intending to pitch this tune through Taxi, so I would really like some feedback from my peer group here - anything that doesn't seem quite right in the backing tracks or confusing in the story line.

Thanks All - do hope you're enjoying your Christmas and software upgrade.
Cheers - Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139845 - 12/26/11 11:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Ian Fraser]
Registered: 02/27/07
Posts: 1815
Kemmrich Offline
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Registered: 02/27/07
Posts: 1815
Quote:

... I am intending to pitch this tune through Taxi, so I would really like some feedback from my peer group here - anything that doesn't seem quite right in the backing tracks or confusing in the story line. ...




I thought I had commented on this one before, but I guess I haven't. It is a pretty good little rocker, that was a fun listen. Now for pitching ....

In my opinion, a song being "good" is different than being ready for commercial pitching. I have never pitched a song before, so take my advice with as many grains of salt as possible! So here are the things that stood out to me.

1.) The intro is too long -- here's Ralph Murphy's study of hit country songs from 2009: http://www.taxi.com/transmitter/1003/country-music-charts.html . There are no hard and fast rules -- only guidelines. But it seems that in 2008 and 2009 (by Ralph's studies) no one had an intro as long as you did (except Brad Paisley & Keith Urban trading licks -- but guitar playing is part of their schtick). Break this "guideline" at your own risk.

2.) The resonator guitar and brent's solo work were fighting for attention most of the time. I would scale back on Brent's solo -- it also competed with the lead vocal.

3.) One of the reason I have never pitched a song is that "outside" demos need to cut through the other 1000 songs the publisher/screen is listening to. You gotta have a top notch demo and top notch vocals. Sorry, I just don't see it happening any other way. Get a demo singer.

4.) Lyrically, you are pretty stuck on the "broken" word with not much story development that I can tell. You never established what was actually "broken". Without that there is no song "depth". The "yanking my chain" line jumped out as too out of character with the rest of the lyrics.

... and again I liked the song. But competing for commercial pitches is a different animal. I'll be interested to hear what the Taxi reviewers will say. If it is a Yes/No pitch with no taxi feedback, I would skip it.

Kevin
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#139846 - 12/26/11 11:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Kemmrich]
Registered: 01/08/11
Posts: 2891
Tommyc Offline
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Registered: 01/08/11
Posts: 2891
You will never sell one if you don't try Ian ! Good Luck Ian !

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#139847 - 12/26/11 11:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Tommyc]
Registered: 12/01/06
Posts: 152
Loc: Glos. England
JBlue7 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 12/01/06
Posts: 152
Loc: Glos. England
Hi Ian,
I like it, a nice song. I agree with a few of the points Kevin made but a really enjoyable listen, great tempo, nice work.
Regards. Jeff

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#139848 - 12/27/11 10:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: JBlue7]
Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8312
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
Don Gaynor Offline
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Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8312
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
i have never "pitched" a song, ian, but i liked what i heard. i agree that brent mason is fighting the rez guitar but it's not to the point of being objectionable. it was a "fresh" sound imho so gopher it! thanks for posting it.
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#139849 - 12/27/11 03:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Don Gaynor]
Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 11239
Loc: Pensacola, Florida
jford Offline
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Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 11239
Loc: Pensacola, Florida
I liked this song. For me, I don't think you need to explain "broken", as it seems to me it's just a variation on the oft-hear phrase (which I don't necessarily agree with) of "all men are pigs". A response might be warranted, but no explanation necessary.

Thanks for posting this and good luck with.
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#139850 - 12/30/11 01:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Kemmrich]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Hey Kevin – thanks for taking the time to respond. You actually brought
a couple of things to the foreground which I had overlooked.

The intro is too long . . . and I am an admirer of Ralph Murphy and his yearly #1s appraisals. Initially my tune was put together thinking of a band on stage. Trying to get the audience into it with a souped-up lead.!

But I cut the intro back already and probably could have done more so.

As for the resonator and lead work, I want them augmenting each other
between the lyric lines – maybe trading off – but this does need tightening.

“All men are broken” is the hook – in the eyes of a women, all men will never be the way they want them to be – i.e. broken. Some being more broken than others.

Having reviewed the lyrics since your comments, I agree with the "yanking the chain" line comment - really does jump out
- I can do better and/or eliminate altogether. The last line of first verse needs help – could be clearer.

As for pitching through Taxi, as a member, I respond to industry listings
which they mail to me as a member. If I submit to them I had better make sure
that my song sounds like or a la the style for which they are searching. Or I won't
get forwarded in spite of glowing reviews! Your submission has to be bang on target

Sure it’s tough and it’s an inside game at Nashville. But the songs are going nowhere
sitting on my computer. I wouldn’t skip a yes/no pitch as it is an opportunity.
I do think Taxi’s feedback is great and worth the submission price.

Glad you liked the song, and good luck with your own writing.

Ian
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My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139851 - 12/31/11 01:10 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Tommyc]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Agreed, Tommy and thanks for the support.
Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139852 - 12/31/11 01:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: JBlue7]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Thanks for the input Jeff - we have to remember that we're selling the song, not necessarily the arrangement - still it's got to be tight enough but not over-done.

Iab
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My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139853 - 12/31/11 01:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Don Gaynor]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Good to hear from you, Don . . . and thanks for the input. I guess I didn't give the res and guit enough space, or kept them too busy. The idea was to use the res for punctuation on certain lines, and keep Brent for the instrumental break - maybe I'll give that a try and thin the electric out.

Happy New Year, Don.
Ian
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My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139854 - 12/31/11 01:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: jford]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Hello John

I'm glad you enjoyed the song. I picked up the "all men are broken" line several years ago and was suddenly inspired to use it after watching Jeff Bridges' Crazy Heart movie. BIAB's RT style sheets were on the spot.
I'll subscribe to the theory that no-one is perfect. But have to keep in mind that Country Music's largest demographic is women in the 18-45 range I believe. So maybe it's a title that will attract their attention.
Good to hear from you, John, and thanks.

Cheers - Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139855 - 12/31/11 02:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Ian Fraser]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3769
Loc: Woodstock, NY
rsdean Offline
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3769
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Ian,

Very nice job on this - I really enjoyed it.

Bob
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#139856 - 01/01/12 01:23 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: rsdean]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Thanks for that, Bob. Somehow thought your partner would be heard from as the resident woman . . . . oooops!
Did I just shoot myself in the foot?

Best in the New Year, Bob

Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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#139857 - 01/01/12 11:24 PM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Ian Fraser]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4414
Sundance Offline
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4414
Hmmm. You're getting awfully close there buddy....LOL!

I'll send ya a pm.

Josie

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#139858 - 01/05/12 09:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: All Men Are Broken – new uptempo Country song [Re: Sundance]
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Ian Fraser Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1696
Loc: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Hi Josie - with four daughters, I've always lived close to the line.
The song does need some adjustments I think.

Ian
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Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.

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