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#344570 04/12/16 08:57 AM
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New song called "World":

https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs/world

Ok, lately I have been writing everything with the idea in my head:

"How would this sound in a movie?" That is the train I am on right now, so all feedback is welcome!! I intentionally saturated vox with reverb and did a lot of things on purpose with that "Hunger Games" kind of frame of mind, but I want to know what you think before I turn this in. I am open!!


It is EDM.

User Defined
RealTracks in style: 2298:Bass, Synth, DanceRockBuzzBass Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1742:Synth, Rhythm ModernDancePopRaveStringsHeld Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1527:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopPowerBrightClean Ev 120
RealDrums in style: TechnoElectro^GH-a:HatSnap, b:Snap



David Snyder #344571 04/12/16 09:24 AM
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David,

A cool song. An interesting write - with enough mystery to fit many scenarios - which is right for your plan (I think).

Your vocal on this is just right (cool).

The mix is good. The instrumentation totally works.

The only thing I did not feel "worked" is the drum track. For me, it is a bit distracting - I "noticed it" not fitting with the rest of what was going on...it seemed too "sharp" or too "snappy" - but keep in mind, this is not a style of music I listen to very often... (just at the movies smile )

But... I like it! Good luck with it!

floyd

floyd jane #344574 04/12/16 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
David,

A cool song. An interesting write - with enough mystery to fit many scenarios - which is right for your plan (I think).

Your vocal on this is just right (cool).

The mix is good. The instrumentation totally works.

The only thing I did not feel "worked" is the drum track. For me, it is a bit distracting - I "noticed it" not fitting with the rest of what was going on...it seemed too "sharp" or too "snappy" - but keep in mind, this is not a style of music I listen to very often... (just at the movies smile )

But... I like it! Good luck with it!

floyd


Pretty much agree with all of that. Very cool song!! I love the feel you have. I agree with Floyd about the drums. There is a lot of energy in the track and drums sound too passive to me, at least on the chorus-not sure about the verses. Really, really good work! Take care. Greg

David Snyder #344613 04/12/16 12:18 PM
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Hi David,

nice energetic song. Drums see above.
Still enjoyed my listen.
Would like to see the lyrics and RTs printed.

Guenter

floyd jane #344620 04/12/16 12:56 PM
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Thanks! I added some LA Rock drums and it sounds much better now.

Good tip.

Greg Johnson #344621 04/12/16 12:56 PM
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I added rock drums and it is much better now. Thanks!

boehm #344622 04/12/16 12:57 PM
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Thanks Guenter, the lyrics are on sound cloud. I am adding rock drums to the mix before I send to my library. Thanks!!!

Also I edited my post to show RB styles. Sorry, forgot that.

David Snyder #344634 04/12/16 02:37 PM
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You succeeded David. Could defiantly see this as a movie track.
Rob

David Snyder #344636 04/12/16 03:38 PM
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Hi David,

I like an awful lot about this song, plus maybe one or two small nits (but no deal breakers)

1) I really like your vocals on this.. the repetition works for the genre.. and the quality of your voice is very good in the song

2) I really like the driving bass drum + bass marriage on the quarter note... for my taste, that would have carried the show except maybe for a few fills... but there is still a residual machine gun drum roll in the mix that I don't think works with the other changes you've made. You usually hear the machine gun stuff in techno and EDM that are purely instrumental; but with the addition of lyrics it departs from the EDM paradigm. I think that's why so many people suggested the rock drums... the song has morphed into more of an indie rock song.

3) Kind of reminds me of REM. That's a good thing!

4) I like the BGV

5) you have an interesting cross section of lows and highs in the song... the arpeggiated guitar part adds shimmer on the high end to offset the mostly low bass and muffled drums.

6) there is a spot where the chords change every two beats, and I don't like the way the bass follows. It would be smoother if you found a common note between the fast changing chords and let the bass linger on it while the other rhythm instruments changed around it. But I would definitely maintain the driving quarter note bass cadence

After multiple listens, I came away with the belief that the world should be big enough. ;-)

David Snyder #344637 04/12/16 04:15 PM
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David did you post the LA drums version?


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David Snyder #344651 04/12/16 05:20 PM
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Cool song and excellent vocal David !...


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David Snyder #344653 04/12/16 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Thanks! I added some LA Rock drums and it sounds much better now.

Good tip.


I'm still hearing the same drums must be my ears.


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David Snyder #344666 04/12/16 09:57 PM
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David,
Quite liked that - good hook, nice choice of instruments and as Pat said he came away feeling the world should be big enough!

David Snyder #344684 04/13/16 01:38 AM
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Cool tune. And I think it might have hit the target. There's a lot there to like. That's the first fader song in a long time that I actually liked the fade.

Your voice has enough gnarlyness to make this sound really coop, hip, indy.

We need to get together and parlay a bit....


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Pat Marr #344692 04/13/16 02:26 AM
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Thanks Pat, Good suggestions. Let me see what I can do!

dga #344694 04/13/16 02:28 AM
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David I can email you the MP3, I don't want to take down the original and I don't want to clog up Soundcloud. I suppose I could make a a "remix" channel, or "go pro" which allows you to post retakes but that is yet another 8 bucks a month. These 8 bucks a month things keep adding up.

smile

Trygve Larsen #344695 04/13/16 02:28 AM
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Thanks man!!

PeterF #344696 04/13/16 02:29 AM
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Thanks Peter!!

Guitarhacker #344697 04/13/16 02:30 AM
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Gnarly bra'!!

smile

See ya at the next meeting next week? Can you do a bro a fav and handle the facebook for it? I think you are on top of that from what I can see!!!

smile

David Snyder #344757 04/13/16 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted By: David Snyder
David I can email you the MP3, I don't want to take down the original and I don't want to clog up Soundcloud. I suppose I could make a a "remix" channel, or "go pro" which allows you to post retakes but that is yet another 8 bucks a month. These 8 bucks a month things keep adding up.

smile


OK I think you played that for me last night. LA set definitely better than the set in this recording/post.

Last edited by dga; 04/13/16 10:21 AM.

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