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Wow. This is great stuff! Kudos to all involved.

Bootleg version is already on the street. Word. grin


p.s. Love the 5th Fret capo guitar!


Regards,


Bob

Last edited by 90 dB; 08/07/16 04:28 AM. Reason: Compulsion
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Magic! Inspirational!Superb!
Top Credit to all involved. Every time I come on here you guys surpass yourselves.
Ian
PS -+ 1 to Floyds comment about there not being an acoustic RT that works for slow tunes like these. Jolly good job Floyd is handy with those strings!!


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hi david Floyd and Janice excellent all of it been said here its the kind of song I could listen over and over great job guys eric


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Originally Posted By: Pat Marr
The pitch... the smack of wood against leather.... the crowd rises to its collective feet, cheering the home run...

Yeah, man.. that's exactly what this song needed! The lyrics are tailor made for a country demographic, and I was very surprised when the original version wasn't more like this.. and even more surprised when the subsequent version strayed even farther from country.


Sort of what I thought. I understood where David was taking it and why...just felt that it needed this type treatment, in addition... And I told him there were already 3 versions of it...how could one more hurt?


Quote:

And you do country so well... you know where to pause and where to rush the phrasing for a more natural delivery.

A lot of otherwise good ballads suffer from a cheezy ending, but this ending is just phenomenal! I bet that didn't happen on the first generation of the pedal steel real track!


For the most part it did "just happen" - after just a couple of gens... the new atmospheric steels are SWEET - really versatile - a lot like the cello - they fit everything!!! Also, the fact that I was playing the acoustic meant that I could play an ending that fit with the generated steel part...


Quote:

And don't apologize for resurrecting the song yet again.. it is an exceptional tune.. IMO one of David's very best in terms of lyric writing. Between David's familiarity with bible belt thinking and your familiarity with writing songs that blow the listening experience out of the water, I really think this song has commercial appeal. People in the traditional south are upset by the direction the world is taking, and I believe this song would be very well received.


David has a unique take on things, for sure. He tends to get a bit wordy - but I know how to rein that in...I don't think he will mind me saying that - it is part of the charm of his writing... so we get an interesting final result.. Hopefully it works for some segment of listeners...

Quote:

Janice, as always, adds her magic to the mix, thereby making sure there are no little windows in the song where nothing spectacular is happening. Everywhere she chimes in, its like somebody sprinkling glitter and rainbows. Shiny stuff. Good stuff.


She is a treasure. How could I NOT ask her to be a part of this one???

Quote:

so, wow! Great collaboration! I love to hear an idea resolve as well as that one did!


Thanks for such a nice review.

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Originally Posted By: tommyad
floyd, David and Janice, this is a terrific collab. A great write, great harmonies and the right arrangement. All that and then the live acoustics and a vocal delivered with extra sauce. This may be one of your all time best vocals floyd. I thought everything was super. The good stuff! Tom


Appreciate all that, Tom. I've always enjoyed singing this type song...


Originally Posted By: PeterF
Originally Posted By: tommyad
floyd, David and Janice, this is a terrific collab. A great write, great harmonies and the right arrangement. All that and then the live acoustics and a vocal delivered with extra sauce. This may be one of your all time best vocals floyd. I thought everything was super. The good stuff! Tom


Not much I can add to Tom's comments - just a great collaboration - a great production.
Very impressive.


We appreciate that, Peter...


Originally Posted By: rsdean
Floyd / David,

I remember this song. This version is excellent. Love the lead vocal, arrangement, and the harmony by Janice really makes it shine.

Great stuff!

Bob


Thanks, Bob.....

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Hey Matcham,

Yeah, we both know about Ralph. smile The alt rock version of this song was like version 5 of this ongoing experiment and it does have the "hero" redemption thing in there. I will post another reply and go into deeper detail of your question for all. See next post...

(Floyd pasted all earlier versions earlier in this thread so you can hear the alt rock version.)

Thanks for your comments!

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Hi All,

A little feedback from the co-writer here. The entire evolution of this song was an experiment in which I posted several versions and also got "professional" feedback from people in Nashville at the same time.

Matcham asked a question about whether one has to follow Ralph Murphy's rules where every song sung by a male has to have a hero, and I will try and answer that, too.

Here is everything I have learned and how it started.

1.) The song in version one started as kind of a silly version while I was in a silly mood one day, but I played it for my church home group and they begged me to record it. So, I did. Version 1.

2.) Floyd listened and said I should take the song seriously, and eventually asked me if he could take a whack at it.

3.) Nashville asked for like 4 rewrites and one person said it had to end with a chorus, another said it had to end with the verse, another said ditch Mom and Dad and make Verse 2 about the girl.

4.) My local songwriters group got mad at me for taking out Mom and Dad and said I had ruined the song by taking professional advice. They said go back to version one and tell the professionals where to go.

5.) Floyd politely asked me if he could take a whack at it. I gave him complete and total artistic freedom to do whatever he wanted to do, with no restrictions. I told him I wanted him to sing it and produce it as an ARTIST. He said he felt very strongly about the song and wanted to cover it as an artist, with a rewrite. I was honored.

6.) In the collab, Floyd did not follow any rules. He re-arranged, rewrote, and sang from his heart as an artist. That is what is coming out here--not formula, artistry. Artistry will always win in the end. His version gave me goosebumps.

7.) While the person in this song is not a "hero" he does not need to be--the final verses let you know that he still has the choice to become a hero should he decide to be, and he knows he has learned his lesson and he knows he still has a choice.

8.) Collabs are awesome as Herb said and that is why I spend so much time on the forum. Now I have a new artist to co-write with. I did not need to go to Nashville to find a professional co-writer and new friend. I found one here--on this forum. And he is also a master producer and engineer. Why I am so involved in participating on the forum and getting involved? Question answered. And--you ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait.

9.) The best feedback I have received on my work, and the best help I have received HAS BEEN ON THIS FORUM. PERIOD AND END OF SENTENCE. There is enormous talent here for people who want to make friends, find collaborators and get involved.

10.) As Herb mentioned in another post I had on forum etiquette, it makes sense to make friends. I loved a particular drum setting one buddy was using and sent a message asking how he got it. I got an email back in 15 minutes telling me the names of plug-ins and EQ settings. I said thanks. You won't get that if you are not involved. Just sayin'.

So, there is the history, and what I learned.

Bottomline: The Band in a Box Community Rules. What a wonderful, wonderful place to find friends.

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Hi, David, Floyd and Janice !:))


Collabs just can´t get much better
than this ! :)) Everything just
perfect,writing, singing, harmonizing,
and mixing ! This is simply great in
all aspects !

Cheers
Dani

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I haven't heard any FJ in awhile.... Nothing has changed! Your still in a league of your own! whistle

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Hello Floyd, David & Janice,

excellent song by you; a super collaboration.
Great real tracks used.

Sergio



Sergio
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Fine words from David, some great lines in this song. I love the arrangement. All the vocals are top notch, the emotions perfectly delivered. I know I'm more interested in the life is hard, life lessons learned or not learned along the way type of song instead of white hat rides off into the sunset again. The hero is cool but most of us get knocked down every now and then.

Kenny

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smile

There ya go. You got it. Tell him what he won Johnny!!!

smile

Thanks man. Good call.

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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Simply beautiful guys!
We haven't heard the original version but this one sure sounds professional all the way.
Beautiful blending of the vocals too!

Rob & Anne-Marie


Thanks, y'all...


Originally Posted By: Sundance
FJ, David and Janice - Great collab! FJ, you sure nailed that vocal as well as that Dad character talking. I think this is the only version I've heard and it sounds like all the right stuff for a classic country tearjerker to me. Great job y'all!


We appreciate that, Josie...



Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
Great collaboration and well worth the effort that's been put into it.

This is certainly the best version so far in my opinion but I don't know that it still can't be taken a bit farther.

Nothing at all wrong with it, I personally think the song is good enough that it could make the cut as a demo for a major artist and producer to make it into a huge commercial hit.


Charlie... "taken a bit farther..." How? Can you be specific? What's missing?

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Originally Posted By: gibson
floyd and David,

that is a collab made in heaven.

Originally Posted By: tommyad
floyd, David and Janice, this is a terrific collab. A great write, great harmonies and the right arrangement. All that and then the live acoustics and a vocal delivered with extra sauce. This may be one of your all time best vocals floyd. I thought everything was super. The good stuff! Tom


nothing more to add, well done all of you

Alyn


Alyn - great to see you around again! Appreciate the spin...



Originally Posted By: PaddyG





A good song, strong message, sincerely sung and perfect arrangement, cut another notch in that post Floyd.

Paddy G


Thanks, Paddy....


Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Floyd,

I liked David's versions, but you made it to a song of your own which is spectacular. The little changes in the lyrics, the arrangement, the vocals and Janice's harmonies: it all fits so perfectly. What came out of this great collab is a beautiful song.

Guenter


Guenter - Thanks for all of that... we appreciate it... thanks for noticing the little things...

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Nothing missing Floyd. I meant it is ready to go to the next level. It's gone through several re-writes and arrangements to the point in is a commercially viable product in my opinion.

Didn't mean to scare you < embarrassed grin >


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Love it. Reminds me of Willie Nelson's "The Family Bible". Great collaboration guys. Floyd you really are amazing how you encourage and collaborate with all the folk on this forum. Makes it feel like one big friendly place!


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I'm a big fan of David's stuff. That said, this was not one of the songs that really grabbed me in its original form. But the golden ears of Floyd Jane heard some potential that I didn't, and what a transformation!! This is incredibly good!! They say that great sculptors can see the art within the original block of stone. This song was meant to be country, and to present serious reflection. I think the final result is awesome. The write, arrangement, and vocal (maybe my favorite FJ ever) really deliver. My hat is off to both of you for a great collab!! Take care. Greg

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Originally Posted By: Matcham
Floyd, David and Janice, congratulations! Great collaboration. I can only agree with all of the comments above. Each element of the song from the lyrics to vocals to production all comes together beautifully in a classic country format.

I'd like to throw something out there. It just so happens that last night I watched a video by a songwriter-to-the stars Ralph Murphy. I'm sure many of you have heard of him. Amongst many other opinions about making #1 country singles (the context for this discussion because as people have mentioned this song is in that territory) he insists that the song needs to empower the singer. In other words it needs to firmly place the singer in a positive, almost heroic light. I wonder if the lyrics here do that? In light of Murphy's advice I would be inclined to bend the song more towards redemption, or at least acknowledgement of past wrongdoing so that there is hope of reconciliation with the ex. It could simply be in the final verse - nothing radical required. I wonder how much you value Murphy's advice. A lot of his suggestions are new to me (not really being interested in #1s).



Matcham -

Thanks for the nice words.

Ralph's lectures are very worthwhile for anyone to listen to. (David did a good job of speaking to them.) Ralph's comments are aimed at a very specific area of songwriting - Country Radio songs - though they are valid for many other areas and genres. Writing for Country Radio (cuts) is a very specific market. You have to WANT that with all your heart. Not many people do - and most should not. It is a very narrow field. Very competitive. Plus, understand, that much of what Ralph relates is based on the past - the Country market as it was through the '90's and early 2000's. (The market today is a very different animal). BUT... the idea of the singer being shown in a positive light is always a good idea. Emerging sonwriters should strive for that. It is important to be able to "write to that".

Today's market is quite different...so some of that "positive" no longer applies. Particularly if you write for the women of Country. Many of them are carrying guns these days - and intend to use them... smile

Also, you need to realize that much of what Ralph teaches is fairly generic and aimed at developing writers. It is all good stuff. Things you need to know and use as one develops as a writer. It is a foundation. But there is a lot more to it. And you learn that as you go. You will often hear "developing writers" parroting this type "rules" back at you - like they are set in stone. They are not. As you move on, things change. The basics still apply, but they change, as well.. it's a learning process. Learn the basic. But don't regurgitate them as gospel. It's a tell.

It really is more "don't have your singer be a jerk". In this song, the singer does show remorse and asks "forgiveness" (in the bridge). And there are more and more artist doing these type songs these days - Chris Stapleton (leading the charge), Jason Eady, Jamey Johnson... and, this is not aimed at "radio" per se... they don't all need to be... sometimes, you just have to say what you need to say...

Ralph's a terrific guy. If you get a chance to meet him, buy him a cigar - but know that his taste level is high - it needs to be an expensive cigar.

Last edited by floyd jane; 08/10/16 12:35 PM.
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Hey Floyd, thanks for your long and considered response. Really I was wondering how Murphy's advice is regarded today and you've given me and others keen insight from someone close to the action. Thank you!

Your points about Country Radio are spot on and my own analysis of the genre confirms that it is a niche area albeit for a mass and lucrative market. It's not a genre I enjoy so I won't be attempting to go there. But as you say it's good to know what it is as part of ongoing craftsmanship.

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Originally Posted By: critter
Very moving song, kinda got my eyes wet, not a bad thing, great song..........


Thanks, Steve...


Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
The sum is greater than the parts.

Collabs really take things to a new level and this is proof. I heard at least one of the original 3 versions and thought the song was ok but nothing to write home about. However, the collab version really shines.

I'm curious to know what NSAI thinks about this latest version.

Good job on kicking it up several notches.


Thanks! Herb

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