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#175785 - 10/09/12 11:35 AM [User Showcase] I Can't Walk The Line
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
BIAB continues to amaze me! Wanted this one to be just a "guitar band" sound. Ammazed by how few tracks were required to get what I wanted...

I Can't Walk The Line

Here is the list of RealTracks:
RealTracks in song: ~~520:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 165
RealTracks in song: 978:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm CountrySwingGrittyHeld Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 1718:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm TexasBluesRockStraightBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1708:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryBrent Ev 165 (Bluesy)
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

I added the vocal and harmonies.

Hope you enjoy it. Comments/critiques welcomed.

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#175786 - 10/09/12 02:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/05/01
Posts: 649
occ Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 12/05/01
Posts: 649
Hey Floyd!! I really like this one. Good use of RealTracks and vocals and harmony is good. Good country song. occ
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#175787 - 10/09/12 02:37 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: occ]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 981
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 981
Loc: Maryland
Floyd,
Excellent tune. Great sentiment!
SD

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#175788 - 10/09/12 07:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 536
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 536
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Very nice! Catchy tune, good mix, good vocals... What's not to like

Greg

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#175789 - 10/09/12 08:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/18/07
Posts: 385
Loc: Los Angeles, CA.
Brallan Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 01/18/07
Posts: 385
Loc: Los Angeles, CA.
Very nice, Floyd... I think I went to High School with Lisa.

Seriously, you have a lyrical gift. What seems important to me, and what is often lacking in so many efforts here on the forum, is a natural, conversational style of lyric-writing... singing the way people actually talk. This is especially true in country music of course, but I am sure that Ira Gershwin and Oscar Hammerstein would know precisely what I mean as well.

There have been some great threads lately here on lyric writing, but I don't recall whether this simple crucial idea has been presented and absorbed.

Keep writing, PG Music software is ideal for your style.
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#175790 - 10/09/12 08:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 1759
F.M.M. Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 1759
hi floyd great production mix everything vocals all top notch thanks for sharing eric
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#175791 - 10/09/12 08:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: Brallan]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4516
Sundance Offline
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4516
+1 to what's already been said. I like it.

Btw, really nice job of mixing in the swing track with the even ones and making the tracks work together.


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#175792 - 10/09/12 10:24 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: Sundance]
Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 4047
Loc: 80 Mi North of Sacramento CA
seeker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 4047
Loc: 80 Mi North of Sacramento CA
Floyd,

Great song again...

As Josie said +1
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#175793 - 10/10/12 10:01 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: seeker]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
occ, SD, Greg, eric, Frank - thanks for the listen and the kind comments

Josie - I've figured out that you can never know what will fit until you try it - so I try as many as I can - even if the name suggests it won't work.

Brad - You're right. A lyric should always be conversational. And the cadence of the words need to fit naturally with the melody. Cover that and you've got it pretty well licked..

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#175794 - 10/10/12 02:27 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Very well constructed tune, great clean vocal. Song is very well mixed. I use to have that same mentality until I figured out you reap what you sew.



My Music
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Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

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#175795 - 10/10/12 11:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: PgFantastic]
Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1905
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Steve Young Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1905
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Floyd,

Very nice! Well written, and well produced. I really enjoyed this one!

Steve
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Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

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#175796 - 10/11/12 10:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1010
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1010
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Real nice song...how cool it is when BIAB makes it come together like this!
Floyd Jane...what style did you use?

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#175797 - 10/12/12 05:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: Tano Music]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16237
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16237
Loc: Australia
Hi Floyd,

Great writing, great arranging, great mixing and first class singing. The hook is excellent. I was very impressed by the way you set the metaphor up and milked it for all it was worth. That's a skill I've still got to master! Thank you for showing me how it's done well

All the best,
Noel
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#175798 - 10/12/12 02:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
PgF, Steve - thanks for the nice comments.

Tano - I did not really use a Style. There was a one there when I opened BIAB, but I ignored it and replaced all the instrumnets with RealTracks, so the style relly had no affect.

Noel - you are certaianly no slouch in any of those categories yourself - so I certainly appreciate your comments! As for "milking the hook"... I lean towards "commercial Country" (bet you never guessed that!) and when you spend a lot of time writing you end up thinking about it all the time and looking for "hooks" that lend themselves to such a treatment. Something that has more than a single dimension. It makes the writing a lot easier.

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#175799 - 10/12/12 04:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 4570
Loc: Akron, Oh
eddie1261 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 4570
Loc: Akron, Oh
Nice. Now what part did Pickles sing?

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#175800 - 10/12/12 10:35 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: eddie1261]
Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 103
Loc: Massachusetts
BruceI Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 103
Loc: Massachusetts
I agree with many of the previous comments. Good song, with a very natural-sounding track in spite of the mix-and-match (with even and swing parts). Convincing vocal too. Reminds me a bit of Clint Black.

The lyrics are good and tell a consistent story, but somehow the chorus feels a little long and talky or "versish" to me relative to the verses. I often have the same problem, and of course this depends on the song, sometimes a longish chorus works. I tried to think of it as a climb (or pre-chorus)/chorus - it does have something of that feel. But often when there's a longish chorus, there's a hook line that comes earlier and then repeats (Clint Black "Nothing but the taillights" comes to mind). Of course you do have "stand in line" and later "walk the line."

Just some thoughts, NSAI-workshop style. I'm only saying this because you mentioned commercial country where I have been told the hook has to be not just good, but "undeniable." Mine have all been denied.

Thank for sharing,
Bruce
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#175801 - 10/13/12 09:36 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: BruceI]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7806
Loc: Florida
eddie - Pickles sat this one out. She did the beer run.

Bruce,

Some interesting thoughts. Thanks for taking the time (and for listening in the first place). Certainly don't mind the Clint Black comparison. His first album was one of the best country albums ever recorded, IMO. Like you mentioned, these things are sort of on a song-by-song basis. The idea of a "hook" has changed significantly over the years. "Old country" was filled with them. I've always thought of them as "the clever hook". The song is written to wrap around that "clever hook". And it is often repeated several times. It was once the dominant writing style (Nashville-wise, anyway). That pretty much "went out of style" quite some time ago. Nashville publishers sort of "turn their noses up" at those kind of songs these days. Ocassionally, you will hear one, but not often (Brad Paisley does it as well as anyone). These days it's more of a "title phrase" that a song is written around - it's not really a "hook" in the traditional sense. And a good percentage of what is recorded these days have more a "verse-y" chorus.

In this case, the "hook" did not lend itself to being at the end of the verse or at the beginning of the chorus, so it becomes the chorus "wrap up". Just the place it landed... I'm finishing up a mix on a song that just POUNDS the "hook" - perhaps a bit too much - and I was thinking... "No one really records these anymore."

As an example, the song that "got the closest" for me (Clay Walker had it "on hold" for 3 months. Once he released it, Jeff Carson picked it up and actually recorded it for his second album, but it was dropped right before the album was released) is very similiar to this one - it only had the "title phrase" at the end of the chorus... so you just never know. It really does "depend on the song".

Again... thanks for taking the time... I appreciate it.

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#175802 - 10/13/12 10:59 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Can't Walk The Line [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13114
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13114
Loc: Hamlin NY
It’s all been said, great song, super vox and outstanding lyrics.

Your songs are getting better and better and this is your best one to date IMHO!
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