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#413899 - 05/17/17 12:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Noel,

What a fascinating rhyme scheme! I listened a number of times marveling at how well you did that. The story is nicely developed, as well - providing insight into both her history and her feelings.

I like how you use the same first line in each of your verses as a jumping point to where you wanted to take us. The two bridges (others called them choruses - but I thought them more as bridges) were nice - I like the parenthetic phrases you used - "She says to the ocean" and "And if she has to"... really made the bridges "breathe"...

The production moved the story along nicely, too. The simple 1st verse to the more full 2nd. The nylon lead was especially well put together...sounded custom played...

Your vocals always stay in my head long after hearing the song.

Well done.

fj


Floyd, thanks yet again for taking the time. I always enjoy reading about your listening experience. As mentioned in my reply to Videotrack, I accidentally landed on the rhyme scheme while looking through poetry one day. It appealed to me.

I wrote the lyrics first with this one and I wrote it to a picture in my mind. Originally it was the image of an 18th century woman on a cliff at the edge of the bay scanning the horizon for her husbands clipper. I used to enjoy watching the BBC production called the "Onedin Line" back in the 1970s. It was set in the days of shipping lines and sailing the high seas. This was the setting I had in mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbUZrl7tU08

Then, when looking for an image to complement the lyrics, I came across beach scenes that fitted so I changed the setting from cliff to beach. All else stayed the same. It worked so I left it.

Thanks once more for taking the time.

All the best,
Noel
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#414017 - 05/18/17 04:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: animarorecords]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: animarorecords
Hello, Noel

Very excellent and beautiful tune!
I felt a latin melody a little bit in this tune.
Making the song with heavily using II-V makes me feel your definite composition skills.
Regarding this song, maybe it was probably composed after finishing to write the lyrics.
You usually write a melody first or lyrics first?
By the way, in my case, melody first more than 90% in the past, and almostly lyrics first lately.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi


Hi Shigeki Adachi,

Thank you for once again having a listen to my songs.

You are totally right! I wrote the lyrics to this one first and then the music. Most of the time, I write lyrics and melody together. That is I get a few words together and they inspire a melody. Then that melody inspires a few more words... etc.

It's rare for me to write the music for a whole song first and then the lyrics (although I've done this with some of my songs). If I begin with music, I usually write a verse or chorus as a starting place for the song. Then I work on the lyrics.

With this song, because I was concentrating on getting this rhyme scheme correct, writing the lyrics first seemed like the best way to go. I didn't add the bridges until I'd finished the verses.

Thanks again for taking time and for commenting! It's always a pleasure to see you.

All the best,
Noel
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#414054 - 05/18/17 10:40 AM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: Greg Johnson]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Very interesting write!! Quite a creative and engaging tale. Where did you find the painting? I think the melody and arrangement carried the story perfectly. Looks like a pretty place! Very enjoyable song Noel!! Take care. Greg


Hi Greg,

Good to see you! I stumbled on the painting just bouncing around hither and thither on internet. And yes... Apollo Bay is a great place to get away from city life.

Thanks for popping in and commenting. Much appreciated.

Regards,
Noel
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#414096 - 05/18/17 03:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1591
gruverider Offline
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1591
I really like the chords you use and the mood changes they evoke. Love your vocal especially in the chorus.

And the nylon guitar is sweet! I have been trying to use it in almost every song for some time now but it always gets cut in the end. Here you have used it to perfection. Bravo!

Your lyrics are tight and lay out a coherent and well told portrait of love and longing.

Well done!

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#414238 - 05/19/17 03:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: RnAM
Noel,

This is excellent!
The beginning has lots of tranquility. The chord progression that follows next surprised us in a very good way.
Very nice to hear again from Australia, since my parents lived there for a couple of years (well...Tasmania), but my brother still lives there (Sydney) and my sister also lived there for a couple of years.
So all in all a familiar feeling.

Rob

Hi Rob and Anne-Marie,

I had no idea that you had such a close association with Australia. I'm actually from Tasmania! Even though it's only a relatively small island, it definitely counts as part of Australia.

Thank you for giving Apollo Bay a listen. I really appreciate it. I also appreciate the insight into your experience of Australia.... cool stuff!

All the best to you both,
Noel
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#414378 - 05/20/17 11:18 AM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: HearToLearn]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
Ok, A LOT has been said...because there's A LOT to talk about with your music smile

Noel, I always admire your methods to build your songs. I can SO tell you have listened...I mean REALLY listened to understand. I think that's rare.

The next step with that is application. It's one thing to hear and appreciate what others have done, but to apply that to your own works...again, in my opinion, seems fairly rare.

I really like how your sections build and release with the common elements but also the addition and subtraction of various components to help with interest level.

I guess the short version of what I'm attempting to say is, there are a good number of skills on display with your songs. They indicate someone who has studied and uses what he's learned. It's great to witness!

Thanks so much for all you do on the forum! Songs like this back up your words smile


Caaron,

Thank you for taking the time to listen and to comment so thoughtfully. I've only been writing lyrics for 12 or so years and it was really challenging, and I mean REALLY challenging, for me at the start. I'm a science minded person and, for the life me, creativity with English has alway eluded me for as long as I can remember. I read a heap of books on how to write lyrics. They helped a bit but weren't as enlightening as I hoped they would be. (Creating music and harmony had never been an issue for me... just lyrics!)

Then I spent $200 to go to a seminar with Pat Pattison (2004, I think) and Pat showed me how to approach using language from an analytical perspective. I came away from that seminar with light bulbs flashing in my head.... lots of them. So I worked through the exercises in all of Pat's books.

Then floyd came along to the PG Music forums. His lyrics are text book examples of how to do it properly. I owe him big time because he tolerated my analysing his lyrics and applying the tools that I'd picked up from Pat. All the while, I'd been practising my own writing. Little by little, I started to get the hang of how to make song lyrics 'flow' and to develop effectively.

It's been a great journey!

It's because of the above history that I really appreciate your comments very much. Thank you again!

All the best,
Noel
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#414452 - 05/21/17 04:27 AM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: Janice & Bud]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Masterful production. The BiaB band, the powerful imagery, the vocal delivery, the arrangement are all in perfect harmony.

It's a "showcase" on the "user showcase" for the capabilities of BiaB in the hands of a talented artist. And the mix is stellar in its clarity. We have tremendous admiration for productions like this that are wide open and "airy" with relatively few instruments yet manage to sound full and lush.

An epic video could be made of this rich imagery. But it's easy to argue that the imagery stands on its own and needs no augmentation.

Superb!

J&B


Hi Janice and Bud,

I really appreciate that you had time to have a listen and to comment. Mixing for me is more about luck than good management! It's good when it comes together. I suppose that's a bit like Life really!

Thanks again.

All the best to you both,
Noel
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#414676 - 05/22/17 12:22 PM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: RichMac]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: RichMac
Hi Noel.
Classy and tasteful as one would expect from you.
Cheers.


Hey Richard,

Thank you for passing through! It's good to see you. Much appreciated.

All the best,
Noel
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#414836 - 05/23/17 01:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: At Apollo Bay [Re: gruverider]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 14095
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: gruverider
I really like the chords you use and the mood changes they evoke. Love your vocal especially in the chorus.

And the nylon guitar is sweet! I have been trying to use it in almost every song for some time now but it always gets cut in the end. Here you have used it to perfection. Bravo!

Your lyrics are tight and lay out a coherent and well told portrait of love and longing.

Well done!


Hi Lawrence,

I appreciate the visit and thanks for taking to listen and pass on your thoughts.

I used quite a bit of cutting and pasting, and the odd bit of stretching/shrinking, with the nylon guitar. I also did a fair bit of volume shaping to try and get some melodic phrasing that sounded suitable.

I'm glad the lyrics worked for you! They were where this song began.

Thanks again fro dropping by,
Noel
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Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


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