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#418159 06/16/17 09:21 PM
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lambada Offline OP
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It's pure BIAB with the vocal done in BIAB. The punch in on the chorus didn't quite work, but it's too noisy here to do more than a sketch. grin I'd love some comments as writing original songs is a new departure for me. It might need a pre chorus bit etc. My biggest concern is that I might have nicked the melody magpie style? Whilst transcribing the vocals from the song, I realised there's another verse worth that got left behind. It's interesting how it morphed as it moved from quite dense poem to song. Anyway, I'm hoping to churn out a bunch of songs of which this is the first - that I'll admit to. grin

BIAB Details
Style is _FLKSWAG.STY (Folk Swing Acoustic Guitar w/ Ba)
RealTracks in style: ~1136:Bass, Acoustic-Guitar, FolkSwing Sw 110
RealTracks in song: ~372:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 120
RealTracks in song: 2440:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking FolkySwing Sw 110
RealTracks in song: 1997:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SmoothJazzCool Sw16 100
RealDrums in style: JazzBrushes#1: a: JazzBrushes#1b: JazzBrushes#1
Vocals pretty much live once I'd got a melody for the chorus. One poorly executed punch in on the 2nd chorus.


The Coffee Bar Cowboy

Lyrics - The Coffee Bar Cowboy

Verse 1

The Cowboy King of this old town will never sing again.
No more his sad old eyes display his sacrifice and pain.
He’s hung his boots up one last time for now he sees the end.
The ancient sound of wood on steel his fingers no more bend
He’ll never wear those tattered jeans and play again they say?
No lover’s words, no soothing tones could help this dreamer stay.
We love him still and miss him sure, the man who plays no more.
His heart is torn, a faded dream, his guitar by the door.

Chorus

My final song, my footsteps gone, Peaceful in my earthly bed
Remember me my fickle friend, my joyful memories I now send.
As laughing people danced and played, we loved and sang our way
Farewell my friend, farewell once more, forever loved you were for sure.

Verse 2

His old worn records line the wall, it’s time to play them all.
Farewell my friend, farewell once more, his memories fill the hall.
Searching but never finding fame, he walks toward the door
The loss and pain, his life a song thrown sadly to the floor
The Cowboy King of this old town, will never sing again.
He’s hung his boots up one last time. He knows it’s not the same.
His heart it torn a faded dream, his name now lost in time.
No more my sad old eyes display the sacrifice was mine.

Chorus

My final song, my footsteps gone, Peaceful in my earthly bed
Remember me my fickle friend, my joyful memories I now send.
As laughing people danced and played, we loved and sang our way
Farewell my friend, farewell once more, forever loved you were for sure.
Farewell my friend, farewell once more, forever loved you were for sure.
Farewell my friend, farewell once more, forever loved you were for sure.

Copyright 2017

Last edited by lambada; 06/16/17 09:31 PM.

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Nothing at all wrong with this - it's a great traditional country song and made me think of Jim reeves.

Clever story line and a nicely put together backing track.

The vocal might benefit from a bit of compression plus a gentle reverb and you might consider moving projects out of BiaB into Realband to add vocals. It's much easier there to perform overdubs and add effects.

For a first original song on the forum it's great. Keep at it.

Cheers, ROG.

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Impressive write, mix and production. I liked Rog's suggestions to getting your vocal to sit into the mix better but also agree with him this is a fine effort on your part.

Charlie


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Thanks for sharing, lambada! This is definitely an enjoyable take on the classic country song, and the lyrics are really quite stimulating here. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future - keep up the great work!


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Deryk
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lambada,

A nice job of putting this together. Impressive if, as you imply, it is an "early effort" at writing. The lyric flows well. Story fleshed out well (a sad one, though). I've never tried adding a vocal to a BIAB files - you did well there, too... I would think recording into RealBand (or another DAW) would have benefits over recording direct to BIAB...

Keep 'em coming.

fj

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Thanks guys. Onward and upward. grin


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Enjoyed it!

Nice arrangement, write and performance.

Think about, as mentioned, using a DAW and have fun!!

Look forward to more...

J&B

Last edited by Janice & Bud; 06/18/17 08:13 AM.
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Very nice listen. Super lyric and vocal


Scott Collingwood
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Thanks again for the encouragement. A bit more processing next time.


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Very nice song - I also like the fade out... Great job.

Bob

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I enjoyed the song. laugh

I think floyd jane gave the most important advice: Keep 'em coming.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Thanks Bob, David, Scott, Janice and Bud, Floyd, Deryk. Charlie and ROG and anyone I missed. Just got to make some time.....


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Well done!! There are some good things here. The lyrics are on the poetic side for a country song (usually more conversational) but they are well written. I think you need more of a difference in the word/music pattern between verse/chorus. The vocal sounds well sung but poorly recorded. Enjoyed the tune! Take care. Greg

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Even before I listen I like the title

I read it as a play on words on the old phase Drug Store Cowboy

or a poser, now to listen.

well, you can't judge this book by it's cover

Ode to a troubadour, The Cowboy King

this sounds like a fine poem set to music

the melody is very nice, well done

I enjoyed my listen

for some reason I kept thinking about the EJ song Roy Rogers

keep em coming!

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Nice sound and relaxing listening.
Sergio



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Thanks Sergio and Kenny. I'm a big Elton John fan from the early days and saw him live about 5 years back. Greg, thanks for the comments. I never really thought about the nature of country lyrics. I agree about the chorus and verse. I may embellish the chorus melody later and put in eg a pre-chorus. I just wanted to get it out, get some feedback and move on. So far I haven't moved.... lol.


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Hi!

This is a really nice take on the old traditional country sound. We think everyone else has already said everything else we had in mind to say. great start on this project. Loved the chord pattern/arrangement.

Nicely done! Best to you.

Alan & Di


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Thanks so much Alan and Di.


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Very impressive write. The story line is very clear and well written. If this is your first, I really look forward to hearing much more!

Steve


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Thanks Steve, you're very kind.


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