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#487431 - 08/23/18 07:09 AM
[User Showcase]
The Dream
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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This is a song I originally wrote in 2013 after I, along with members of my family, ran into some serious health battles. I have two recordings from 2013 and figured I would try to re-imagine this tune using BIAB. I decided on a very simple arrangement. I am not at my "BIAB computer," so I will have to post the backing tracks later. The Dream(c)2018 David S. Becker Music https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/the-dream-redux-2018Intro
Verse 1I'm walking Down a narrow road I'm carrying Such a heavy load I'm losing my breath Trying not to fall behind I'm struggling To stay within the lines Verse 2A weight it lifts No more need to fight A blast of air And a radiant light I'm for once at ease As the air it fills my lungs The pain is gone My body and mind go numb Pre-ChorusBut I can't escape This nightmare Why must I have to wake This existence I'd forsake I've survived too long In this hospice In my dream I'm set free It's where I want to be ChorusI want to go home Home There's nothing here for me But pain & misery Home I need to go home Won't someone set me free Take these shackles off of me BridgeWell I have a pulse My heart's beating I can take a breath I'm breathing But the pain is never easing And to suffer there's no meaning
Verse 3I am sleeping With a peaceful ease No bitter cold Just a soothing breeze There's a voice that's faint Screaming "stay with me" A shock to the heart Why can't they let me be Repeat Pre-chorus
Repeat Chorus
Outro
Edited by GocartMoz (08/25/18 05:10 AM)
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#487437 - 08/23/18 07:38 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3706
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3706
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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A very powerful and moving song!
Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.
Nicely done!
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#487446 - 08/23/18 08:31 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10139
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10139
Loc: GA USA
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That'll rip the paint off your heart.
Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.
We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.
Great work!
J&B
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#487459 - 08/23/18 09:26 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
PG Music Staff
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
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Really well done  Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced. Great work and thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk
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#487497 - 08/23/18 02:49 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: BlueAttitude]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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A very powerful and moving song!
Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.
Nicely done! Thank you for the listen and comments. It is greatly appreciated. Dave
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#487514 - 08/23/18 04:19 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
PG Music Staff
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
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Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe
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#487517 - 08/23/18 04:27 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 3247
Loc: Missouri
Veteran
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 3247
Loc: Missouri
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What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey
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#487557 - 08/24/18 02:46 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: Janice & Bud]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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That'll rip the paint off your heart.
Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.
We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.
Great work!
J&B Hey J & B , Always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks much for giving this a listen and commenting. Dave
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#487563 - 08/24/18 03:36 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Veteran
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
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What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.
Alan
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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#487573 - 08/24/18 07:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9146
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9146
Loc: Florida
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Dave,
A very powerful write and a very powerful performance and presentation.
The piano/organ combination works really well for this. Nice production and mix. The "touch of fiddle", works well, too...
Seems like you have quickly "gotten comfortable" with the BAND!
Well done.
fj
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#487578 - 08/24/18 07:43 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
Veteran
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
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A strong and emotional write, great performance
Florida is well represented on these forums by
really good songwriters!
I love the sparse backing, it's my "go to" very often
good storytelling, it put me in the "Lord save me from this fate"
frame of mind.
Kenny
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#487703 - 08/25/18 05:04 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: Deryk - PG Music]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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Really well done Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced. Great work and thanks for sharing! Thank you Derek, I appreciate the comments. Dave
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#487704 - 08/25/18 05:06 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: Joe -PG Music]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done! Thx for the listen. Interestingly though there is no guitar in this recording. I originally included some acoustic tracks with me playing, but decided to nix them as I wanted to keep it sparse. Appreciate the listen. Thanks, Dave
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#487705 - 08/25/18 05:08 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: Torrey Bliss]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey Thank you Torrey. I appreciate your thoughts. Dave
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#487709 - 08/25/18 07:20 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Veteran
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
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A remarkable song Dave, incredibly moving, sincere and so well put together.
Well done my friend.
John
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#487735 - 08/25/18 09:29 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: Al-David]
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Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Apprentice
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
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What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.
Alan Thank you Alan. I appreciate your time listening and commenting. Dave
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#487754 - 08/25/18 11:18 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4506
Loc: New York
Veteran
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4506
Loc: New York
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David,
This is very moving... I love the song and performance. Some very fine production here as well.
Bob
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#487774 - 08/25/18 01:46 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6215
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6215
Loc: Davis, CA
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POWERFUL, riveting, passionate!!! Beautifully done. I would not change a thing about this. BTW, is the piano an RT? I'd like to check that one out. My mom is 87 and this pretty much describes her life. It is difficult to watch. Fortunately her pain is relatively mild most of the time but there is so little there for her that I wonder how she pushes on. GREAT work here!! Take care. Greg
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#487795 - 08/25/18 03:59 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1830
Expert
Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 1830
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Your vocal is filled with emotion! Wonderful choice of instruments and arrangement!
very much enjoyed!
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#487807 - 08/25/18 08:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: The Dream
[Re: GocartMoz]
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
Veteran
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
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Well that was a powerful and sad song. Really nicely produced written and performed.
A strong composition.
Peter
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