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#521534 - 01/30/19 11:26 PM [User Showcase] Ashes
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Deej56 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Hi, all:

Here's another co-write with John Vaughn. Seemed fitting to go with a harder rock style with these lyrics . . . but I hadn't quite gone there before with BIAB, and certainly not quite vocally. John was especially patient with me as I seemingly took forever to come up with something somewhat listenable (at least I hope).

For better or worse, here's the result. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated (my mix, as always, is ever a work in progress). Thanks in advance for taking the time to listen.

My best regards to you all.

Here's the song:

ASHES

Here are the lyrics:

(V) When the wind howls
keeping you awake;
when your dog barks
at your creaking gate;
go bury your head and try to hide,
because I won’t be there
to keep the boogie man outside.

(V) When your phone rings,
it won’t be me;
I heard the fat girl sing,
so our love is history
I’m building a funeral pyre
of sad memories,
I’m burning them to ashes
so finally I’m free . . .

(C) Ashes—they might even blow your way—
Ashes—from all the bridges that I’ve burned today—
Ashes—there’ll be no rising like a phoenix—
Ashes, ashes—burn what’s between us.

(V) No, I won’t be there
keeping you from harm,
saying it’s all right,
cuddlin’ up real warm.
Somewhere on the interstate
a madman screams—
cause you're the woman
who turned all my dreams into . . .

(C) Ashes—they might even blow your way—
Ashes—from all the bridges that I’ve burned today—
Ashes—there’ll be no rising like a phoenix—
Ashes, ashes—burn what’s between us.

(B) Our love was hot, we were writhing in the flames;
You touched that spot and I’ll never be the same;
But it all turned cold when you whispered his name . . .

(C) Ashes—they might even blow your way—
Ashes—from the bridges that I’ve burned today—
Ashes—there’ll be no rising like a phoenix—
Ashes, ashes—burn what’s between us.

(c)2019 John Vaughn/DJ Lekich

And here's the band:

Drums: Real Drums Rock Classic Brit Ev^2
Bass: Real 388 Bass, Electric, Metal Ev 120
Lead Guitar: Real 395 Soloist Metal
Guitar 1: Real 1026 Electric Strumming Dirty Open
Guitar 2: Real 496 Guitar, Electric Rhythm StoneZ
Guitar (Backup): Real 391 Electric Rhythm Metal Ev 120
Guitar (Backup) Real 659 Electric Rhythm Texas Rock Chop

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#521548 - 01/31/19 02:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 495
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 495
Loc: Texas
You song turned out quite well...
I really like that lyric line in the bridge "Our love was hot, we were writhing in the flames"...
Nice vivid images throughout your lyrics...
I enjoyed the listen!
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#521584 - 01/31/19 07:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6689
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6689
Loc: Florida
Deej,

You did a good job with this. John's lyric works well in a rock format (which is more lenient with lyrics that shoot off in different directions).

A good rock arrangement. A cool opening. Drums sound good. Bass is nice, too (a little "beefier" for a good bottom end wouldn't hurt). The guitars work - a "darker", meatier guitar on one side would give you a bit more "beef", too - but that is a "personal choice" - a lot of indie rock has the kind of "crisp" rock guitars you have here...

A good vocal. You have the power to pull of this type song. Another "personal choice" - I would have it "sit in the mix" a bit more. Adding some bottom using EQ to bump the low mids, perhaps - and rolling off the highs some.

This is a good one. Y'all should go down this road further...

fj
_________________________
125+ BIAB Songs

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#521587 - 01/31/19 07:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 9038
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
VideoTrack Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 9038
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
I really liked the lyrics and the phrasing.

Balance was good and the vocals sit really well throughout the song.
_________________________
BIAB&RB2019(Audiophile),Win-10Pro, SonarPlatinum, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, Synthogy Ivory, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, KorgX3R, RodeNGT2, AM802mixer, NS40M StudioMonitors, Pioneer Act. Mons, AKG K271 Studio H'phones

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#521594 - 01/31/19 07:49 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1047
Loc: Finland
jannesan Offline
Expert

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1047
Loc: Finland
Good sounding rocking arrangement, almost like punk. Very catchy chorus. Muting guitar and letting bass shine at some bars is a nice trick. Interesting lyrics with modified quotes like fat girl sing, and no rising like a Phoenix.

Janne

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#521603 - 01/31/19 08:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 1866
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 1866
Nice work on this - I loved the raw energy behind it, and your vocals were stunning. It has a really modern feel to it, and it is nicely catchy too. The groove is excellent I thought the mix was professional too. I can imagine this sounding unreal in a live setting.

Thanks for sharing smile
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#521609 - 01/31/19 08:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 293
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 293
Loc: Virginia USA
Fabulous rock and roll vocal!!! I love the twist on the cliche: "I heard the fat girl sing,
so our love is history." -- excellent! Great production!

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#521621 - 01/31/19 09:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 1309
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 1309
Loc: Victoria, BC
"I’m burning them to ashes so finally I’m free" has to be my favourite part. Thanks for sharing with us!
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#521625 - 01/31/19 09:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 1929
Robertkc Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 1929
Deej,
You deliver an intense vocal so well! I was glad to hear the bridge bring that intensity down just a little there- then back to the burn.
I like the lyrics,the metal guitar and above all the energy.
One very small nit - the background chorus vocals sound a bit loose & don`t quite meld with your lead to my hearing.
An excellent collaboration.

Robert

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#521656 - 01/31/19 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1122
Joe -PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1122
Nice work Deej56, I really enjoyed the overall tone of this. Fantastic selection of instruments here and the instruments are layered nicely. That guitar tone is very warm! The vocals harmonize well with the other instruments. Looking forward to hear more!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe

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#521781 - 02/01/19 06:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 3911
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 3911
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Excellent vocal. |heard a little Geddy Lee in there. Super backtrack and lyric. Well done
_________________________
Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709

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#521879 - 02/01/19 06:21 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 1935
Loc: Middletown, PA.
44kfl Offline
Expert

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 1935
Loc: Middletown, PA.
cool song

interesting lyrics

good arrangement

enjoyed the listen,

Kenny

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#521897 - 02/01/19 09:22 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1683
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Steve Young Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1683
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Really good job here. I like the energy in this one. Floyd has some good suggestions. I agree, y'all should do more of this!

Steve
_________________________
Steve Young
Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

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#522156 - 02/03/19 01:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 434
Loc: Germany
Crossroads Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 434
Loc: Germany
Hi Deej5,

that's a real cool rocking song. You got a marvellous voice for that genre. Excellent !

Stefan
_________________________
What do you mean, 'The guitar's out of tune'?

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#522182 - 02/03/19 02:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 2048
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 2048
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Yeah! This is great, love your vocal, it is well suited for this type of material.

Good song, enjoyed the listen.
_________________________
Dave

Blue Attitude Website
CD release: Blue Line

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#522204 - 02/03/19 04:43 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3652
Loc: Woodstock, NY
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3652
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Deej,

What a great song - awesome mix and a hot vocal.

Loved it!

Bob
_________________________
SoundCloud Tracks


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#522274 - 02/03/19 11:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 1982
Loc: Missouri
Torrey Bliss Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 1982
Loc: Missouri
Deej56, this track sounds really good to me! You have it mixed well and you have done a great job with the vocals! Your vocal reminds me a lot of Tom Petty! Thanks, Torrey
_________________________
Torrey Bliss
www.soundcloud.com/torrey-bliss
BMI

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#522303 - 02/03/19 01:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2914
Loc: Florida
tommyad Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 2914
Loc: Florida
Deej, that is rockin. Great lyrics and a super vocal. Nicely edited. I love the holds. Well mixed and I enjoyed my listen, Tom

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#522372 - 02/03/19 11:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Deej56 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Jim, VideoTrack, jannesan, Ezkiel, Ember, Joe, Kenny, Steve, Crossroads, Blue, radeon, Torrey, and tommyad:

Thank you all for the listen and kind comments. It seems a never-ending battle to muster what little talents I have to make BIAB sound close to what I hear in my head. In the end, if I can make it sound somewhat listenable, then I’m a happy man—and it seems for the most part that you all enjoyed. This tune has its flaws, but I’m glad it resonated notwithstanding.

All the best to each fo you,

Deej

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#522373 - 02/03/19 11:22 PM [User Showcase] Re: Ashes [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Deej56 Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 180
Floyd,

Your comments and suggestions are astute as always. Yes, the rock genre gives a bit more leniency lyrically. And I hear where you are coming from with the sound of the guitars. I was going for, as you say, the indie rock “crisp” sound—and actually, I couldn’t get it just like I wanted—but there’s a part of me wondering if I should have went for a bit more depth.

I struggle a ton with finding the balance between my vocal and the mix. On this and other songs. I don’t have a lot of control on my vocal . . . kinda too strong in spots and not enough in others. And I really have little idea when it comes to massaging it on the EQ. But I try.

Glad the song had some merit nonetheless.

As always, your feedback and guidance is very much appreciated.

All the best to you, friend,

Deej

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