You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#528846 - 03/15/19 10:40 AM [User Showcase] Lizzy love singing
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi everyone,

I noticed it's very crowded on the forum at this moment. Lots of inspiration, lots of songs. That's nice!

I couldn't stay behind and made a song about two girls, Lizzy and Charlotte. In a certain way they are each other's opposite. And like it always goes, this could not end well.

I made this song some days ago. I had the melody in my head, but also a cold. So I wasnt able to sing it then.
Maybe some will say that this is still the case...

The style is Careen, but I changed the most instruments, except the bassguitar and one other guitar. The tempo is 112. the drums are Heavy4x4 with tambourine.
I made two versions, singing solo and in harmony. I prefered the solo-version, the one you hear if you click the link to soundcloud.
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/lizzy-loves-singing-v16-s

Let me know what I can improve (if you can find any ;-)). That's why we're doing this, don't we?


Thanks already,
Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

Top
#528875 - 03/15/19 05:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 871
Rustyspoon# Offline
Expert

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 871
Hello Hans!

I liked your arrangement! Especially what you did at 2:30 smile Lyrics are fun, maybe write them down. Some folks here (including me) like to read lyrics while listening. Overall, very good feel of this tune, I wholeheartedly enjoyed it.

Since you asked for suggestions... I think the only true weakness is the mix separation of vocals and instrumentals. Your instrumental arrangement is clear and balanced well (to my ears), but vocals seem to be a little detached and over reverbed, which makes it a little difficult to follow story line, (which is great)! When you have your bridge (or spoken word)part presence is much better. If it was my mix, I would bring vocals a couple of db louder and took out some of the reverb.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Top
#528878 - 03/15/19 05:21 PM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 711
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 711
Loc: Denmark
"Oh, Lizzy is a beauty
But Charlotte sings so nice"

That is a problem many people around the world knows quite well! smile

I enjoyed listening to your song - the lyrics are a good mix of being fun - and then sad.

Thank you very much for sharing - looking forward to hear more of your music!

Will

Top
#528919 - 03/16/19 02:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi Rustyspoon and Will,

Thanks for you compliments and especially the suggestions.
I thought I brought down the reverb too much so added a litte. Too much, I understand.
And about the volume: some said my voice was too loud. So brougt that down too. Same conclusion as with the reverb.
And I hear some traces of the cold I had. I will correct all of that this weekend (promise).

And the lyrics are on Soundcloud. But for your convenience I place them in here as well:

Lizzy loves singing
(c) HWBerkhout, 09032019

Lizzy loves singing
And Charlotte too
but it's much better
to hear both do

'cause Lizzy can't sing well
And Charlotte does
Together they call it
their fuzz

Oh, Lizzy is a beauty
But Charlotte sings so nice
It's her voice that makes her lovely
While Lizzy needs some advise

Lizzy loves Rocksongs
And Charlotte don't
She's more romantic
But Lizzy won't

She never change that
It felt not right
Although her voice
ain't that bright

Oh, Lizzy is a beauty
But Charlotte sings so nice
It's her voice that makes her lovely
While Lizzy needs more advise

Yes, Lizzy is a beauty
But Charlotte sings so nice
It's her voice that makes her lovely
While Lizzy needs some advise

Lizzy went shopping
the whole day long
but then something
went very wrong

They called Charlotte
it drilled her head
when they told her
Lizzy was dead

Yes Lizzy, little beauty
All went so fast that dark day
Charlotte could not comprehend
Lizzy met her end

Lizzy loved singing
but never can be heard...
Charlotte quits singing, she could only cry
This was the day when two birds die...

Lizzy loved singing, and Charlotte was good
But together they sounded so smooth
Oh, Lizzy loved singing, though Charlotte reigned
But their voices still remain

Lizzy loved singing, and Charlotte too
They keep touching you
I hear their voices every day
But Lizzy and Charlotte, they'd fade away

Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

Top
#528923 - 03/16/19 03:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 986
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 986
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Pretty cool - though the vocal effects made them sound fuzzy on the edges.
Interesting narrative.
Lyrically it hangs together except for

It felt not right
which isn't particularly bad but it does clunk a bit.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#528967 - 03/16/19 09:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 511
Loc: Virginia
Belladonna Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 511
Loc: Virginia
This story happens a lot in bands when one member dies, especially a charismatic one. The whole band is never the same again or may not even survive. Also, reflects some of the rivalries between band members. I like the way you told the story with these two girls. I thought your vocals were fine as well as the production.

Top
#528968 - 03/16/19 09:27 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 984
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 984
Loc: Texas
Thanks, Hans, for writing down the lyrics...
You've put together a good storyline about Lizzy and Charlotte...
I can't think of anything you need to do to improve it...
To me its pretty pleasing as is...
I enjoyed listening to your creativity.
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

Top
#528970 - 03/16/19 09:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 4821
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 4821
Loc: North Carolina

This is a very cool song to me.

I love the instrument bed and tracks, and that is a very cool effect on the vocal.

It sounds really original. I liked it a lot. Fun listen.
_________________________
David Snyder
Audiophile Everything + Studio + Instruments + Fingers
ASCAP, NSAI

www.davidsnydermusic.com
www.reverbnation.com/davidpsnyder
www.soundcloud.com/davidsnyderchannel
www.songtradr.com/user/profile/david.snyder







Top
#529056 - 03/17/19 06:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Dear Belladona, Jim, Ray and David,

Thanks for all your compliments/ opinions.
I re-recorded the song this weekend.
Less reverb, voice bit louder and a little textchange, because RayC found it cluncky (and in spite of what the Americans said).
He was right (a littlebit), so now I sing:
"She never change that
It's her scope
Although her voice
hardly cope"

https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/lizzy-loves-singing

Nice day,
Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

Top
#529223 - 03/18/19 12:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 4143
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 4143
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Just listened to the updated link. Excellent vocal and backtrack. Guitar sounds great. Well done
_________________________
Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709

Top
#529350 - 03/19/19 09:26 AM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 984
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 984
Loc: Texas
I just finished listening to the updated link...
Very nicely done.
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

Top
#529386 - 03/19/19 02:16 PM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 91
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Thanks for listening Jim and Scott!

Yesterday I was singing this song in E. The version you heard was in C. My voice was a bit lower because of a cold I had.
But I hesitate to change the C version for the E version, because than you have to hear it again. That would probably be too much, though the song changed a bit because of this choice of mine.
I think I will just change the song and don't mention it here. You agree?

Hans
Ps: Jim, what is the meaning of those signs under you name? I can think of Religious, but mainy for the sake of Peace and Love. Is that correct?
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

Top
#529395 - 03/19/19 02:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: Lizzy love singing [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 1641
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 1641
Loc: Victoria, BC
You definitely painted a particular image of these two girls. Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

Top


PG Music News
Polish Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows is Here!

Istnieje wiele ekscytujących nowych funkcji w Band-in-a-Box 2019!

Band-in-a-Box® z RealBand 2019: Pakiety
Band-in-a-Box® z RealBand 2019 dla Windows : Nowych Funkcji

Spanish Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 para Windows® está aquí!

Nuevas características
Todos los Paquetes

Video - Repeats & Endings Dialog Overview for Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows

In our latest video, video we go over the Repeats & Endings Dialog within Band-in-a-Box® 2019 - Learn more...

This video includes information on repeats, 1st/2nd endings, dc al coda, ds al coda, dc al fine, ds al fine, and Fake Sheet Mode.

Testimonial - Woody Piano Shack's Thoughts on Band-in-a-Box®

Check out our latest Video Testimonial from Woody of Woody Piano Shack! Woody uses Band-in-a-Box primarily as a training tool within his YouTube channel and private lessons. He's been a Band-in-a-Box user since the Atari ST days, and is very impressed with the evolution of our program - watch and you'll see! Click here...

Video - Audio Harmony Overview in Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows

We've updated our Audio Harmony Overview video using the latest Band-in-a-Box 2019 for Windows program! Watch now...

Learn even more about Audio Harmonies using the Online Manual, here.

Danish Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 til Windows® er klar!

Pakker
Nye funktioner

Dutch Band-in-a-Box® 2019 for Windows is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 voor Windows® is hier!

Pakketten
Nieuwe Functies

Forum Stats
29501 Members
60 Forums
58138 Topics
488393 Posts

Max Online: 2434 @ 11/14/17 12:37 AM
Newest Members
sga2, DZibman, fredgfredg, CSS, Bill Shafer

29501 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
Jim 140
Noel96 132
Janice & Bud 119
rsdean 111
Ember - PG Music 110
Tangmo 104
rayc 95
Jim Fogle 90
Joe -PG Music 88
floyd jane 81
Today's Birthdays
Harvey Gerst, patlam, trumpet