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#552830 - 09/04/19 07:07 AM [User Showcase] It's gonna be lonely
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi everyone,

Here is my 'contribute' for september. https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/gonna-be-lonely



This song I made in januari 2018, long before I participated in this forum. I didn't dare to at that time.
I couldn't mix or master, and the song sounded very harsh.
Now I think I have learned more, so dare more.

This song is based on the style Merfolk, the key is C and the tempo is 100.
I added an funky electric guitar and 2690 as an electric sologuitar.
I did the harmony with VoiceLive3 from TC Helicon.

The lyrics are a fantasy. I am exaggerating a bit about relationproblems.
I more liked the melody and the singing.

I hope you like it. Let me know,
Hans

Lyrics:
Gonna be lonely
(c) HwBerkhout, jan. 2018/ 2019

Oh, lonely me

You found out this evening
what happened
between our silky sheets
I had filthy feet

You don't have to ask me
how I know
Your eyes have that piercing, scary light
It better have a lonely night

But it's aching, you never told me
You had secrets of your own, I'd see
Oh, it's gonna be a lonely night
For you and for me

What to do now?
Who's got to go?
Our hands are free
So it ain't me

Before you leave here
I must tell you
Maybe you won't understand
But this was not planned

Oh, it's so cold now
It started raining
The stars don't shine so bright
Ah, it's gonna be a lonely night

I felt sorry, what I have done?
Can we mend what we cannot see?
Ah, it's gonna be a lonely night
For you and me

I admit, about you
I had my doubts too
But don't make that much fuzz
That's really not us

Can't we talk it over
and end like friends?
Maybe there remains one tiny light
Or we gonna have a lonely night

Don't leave tomorrow, stay some more time
Get your love back out of that old tree
Or it's gonna be a lonely night
For you and for me

We have to do some talking
Don't whist anyway
But please let me stay...

Alright, I pack my things
And I go someplace else
I will look for what I won't find
Because you stay on my mind

Oh, let's talk it over
and see what is left
Or did our love really died?
Then there gonna be a lonely night

I leave tomorrow, why should I stay?
We can't go back, and that's so true
Ah, another lonely night
For me and for you
Ah, another lonely night
for me and for you


Edited by Birchwood (09/04/19 07:16 AM)
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

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#552971 - 09/05/19 03:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2191
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2191
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
The writing and arrangement are solid.
I vacillate between enjoying and disliking the vocal effects you've used.
It's one of those things.
As a demo of a cool song it works a treat any way.
The only real quibble would be that in my head I sing
"For you and for me" with the same notes but different phrasing.
You've succeeded in driving me nuts with your song - I enjoyed it too!
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#553003 - 09/05/19 07:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8344
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8344
Loc: Florida
Hans,

A cool sounding song. The BAND is cookin'... nicely mixed.

The vocals are nice. During the chorus when there are multiple vocal tracks it gets a bit loud, but they sound cool (perhaps the group could be backed off a bit).

A good listen.

fj

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#553043 - 09/05/19 09:35 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2711
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2711
Hans,
I enjoyed your rocking song. I like your vocals- energetic, good phrasing and a bit raspy ( reminds me of John Hiatt). I agree that backing off the chorus harmonies would reduce the harsh edge there.

Robert

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#553056 - 09/05/19 10:29 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 1888
Rustyspoon# Online   content
Expert

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 1888
Hans,
Looks like you had fun with it! Very catchy tune! Strong vocals. Interesting phrasing and arrangement.

Since, I believe you have strong nerves, here is an opinion. The vocals and arrangement do have different feel to them. I wish there would be more "common" tonal balance between them. You like vocals on HF (I have that issue too smile ) but arrangement has a more balanced EQ feel, so the vocals to my ear stand out a bit more than comfort level. Still, song is powerful and done very tastefully. I enjoyed it.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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#553079 - 09/05/19 12:16 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 8939
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 8939
Loc: GA USA
We like the vocal effects and the overall sound.

Everything holds together well when cranked up on our monitors.

Robert said: "I reminds me of John Hiatt"

Good point! We have listened to him over the years and there is a similarity...a good thing!

This is a fine rocker that we enjoyed!

J&B

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#553095 - 09/05/19 01:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi Ray, Floyd, Robert, Misha, Janice and Bud,

I thought it would be some sort of Popsong, not a Rocker. But I think you are more right than I. feels strange, me being a rocker!
Actually I had the BeeGees in mind. Not their high voices but the way they arrange their songs. i can say here (just for us) I was a fan of them and could sing that high, once...
But I like a lot of music/styles. and one of my sons had compared me with John Hiatt. I still have to get used to it, when you come from far (BG's).
And i heard what you said about my group. Back off! I told them to do so, cause Floyd said so, as did Ray, Robert, Misha. Only Janicew and Bud could stand it, because their monitors hold even when cranked up to their max.!
But Ray was teasing me with his post. I had to use google-Translate for nearly every sentence he wrote. The nicest part was I drove him nuts!!! I thought he was doing that to me with his language.

But thanks everyone for giving me tips and instructions.
I made some adjustments and did that backoff request. Maybe it's somewhat better now.

I appreciate it very much,
Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

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#553096 - 09/05/19 01:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4383
Loc: Woodstock, NY
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4383
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Hans,

This is a great rock song... Good song, vocal and mix. I thoroughly enjoyed this one!

Bob
_________________________
SoundCloud Tracks


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#553104 - 09/05/19 02:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2281
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2281
Loc: Victoria, BC
The vocal sounds a little loud at times, but otherwise the song is pretty solid. Really great job!
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#553197 - 09/06/19 06:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5049
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5049
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Excellent tune Hans. Super vocal. Loved the guitar. Well done

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#553211 - 09/06/19 07:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3264
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3264
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Good song, Hans!

I especially like those layered vocals, very effective.

Enjoyed the listen!
_________________________
Dave

Blue Attitude Website

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#553212 - 09/06/19 07:17 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3148
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3148
Wow - you did a number on this one! The arrangement is excellent and your vocals are stunning. The harmonies on the chorus soar, and I really thought the instrumentation was well blended, personally.

Thanks for sharing smile
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#553242 - 09/06/19 10:43 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1918
Loc: Finland
jannesan Offline
Expert

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1918
Loc: Finland
Very catchy chorus, those backing vocals make it really powerful. The solo guitar hides the vocals during verses, maybe you could pan it differently? The selected band works very well with the lyrical message and your strong voice, although I was also thinking how Neil Young and his simple arrangement would work.

Janne

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#553272 - 09/06/19 02:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 798
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 798
Loc: Maryland
I liked it for the most part. It felt like there was always a guitar, background vocal, or something else competing with the lead vocal. Otherwise, a lot to like here.
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core 2 Quad Q9450, 6 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, M-Audio Keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 9, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

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#553278 - 09/06/19 02:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 3602
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 3602
Loc: Sydney Australia
Hans

A nice rocking number, with a good sounding band. Some good mixing advice in the posts.

Nice work.

Peter

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#553376 - 09/07/19 05:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 673
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi Bob, Ember, Scott, Dave, Deryk, Jannsan, Tunemonger and Peter,

At first, thanks for listening to the song and secondly the remarks, tips and advises.
I consider this forum to be a place to interact and learn. So never be shy when you judge my songs. But do it with a friendly tone, otherwise I'm of my track for some days. And you all succeeded to do that (that tone).

Bob, Scott and Dave and Deryk, thanks you liked the song. Made me smile for a day now!
Ember, you mentioned those vocals come in a bit too loud. I changed that, because some others said the same and were right. Maybe I was too hasty showing you this song.
That is also the case with the mixing between instruments and vocals as Jannesan, Tunemonger and Peter meant. Tunemonger was using the word 'competing' and I found out he was right. So I remixed the song on those aspects. The electric guitar softer and more to the left, like the sologuitar on certain aspects. And I had to listen where to place the vocals. All the backgroundvocals are now moved to the right. At first I had them spread out left and right for a 'wide' effect.

And I changed the label 'Pop' into 'Rock', although I was convinced this song was not at all a Rocksong...

Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

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#553454 - 09/07/19 12:16 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 199
Mark K Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 08/15/17
Posts: 199
Enjoyable listen. The vocals parts with harmony have a very modern pop sound to them.

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#553507 - 09/07/19 03:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16570
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16570
Loc: Australia
Hi Hans,

This is a great listen! I love this groove heaps.

Your songwriting is excellent and your song-presentation is confident and very enjoyable to listen to. The arrangement shines. One of many things that really impressed me was how you managed to weave a solo guitar around vocals... that's no mean feet at all. It's something that I've very rarely managed to achieve but, as I listened to this arrangement, you made it sound super easy. You're a talented man.

From start to end, I was with you all the way!

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#553555 - 09/07/19 07:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3443
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3443
Loc: Sacramento, California
Cool! To me, your vocal delivery reminds me a lot of David Byrne of Talking Heads.

I really like the asymmetrical pattern you use.

This definitely goes in the "enjoyed" category for me! smile
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#553699 - 09/08/19 12:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: It's gonna be lonely [Re: Birchwood]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 5646
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 5646
Loc: Davis, CA
Great sounding rock ballad!! You really have that Lennon vibe in your vocals, which I love!! Great job on this one!! Take care. Greg

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