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#602278 06/16/20 06:26 AM
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In The Deep

Kids; communicating, but not too much- I`m still working on the balance and finding a good supply of songs there.
Listens appreciated and comments welcome.


Style is _LONEBOY.STY (Lone Boy Acoustic Guitar Ballad)

RealTracks in song: 3119:Bass, Acoustic, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2195:Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm CoolJazzPopHeld Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2914:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Folky16thsBrent Ev16 085
RealTracks in song: 1761:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 085
RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
RealDrums [in Song:ShakerFolkEv16: a: Shaker b: ShakerFolkEv16




In The Deep

the brush of wings
sensing things
down our road tonight

touching your cheek
the answer I seek
flies out of sight

I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place

a moments storm
wordless borne
across your lovely face

take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep

drawing circles in squares
what`s in there
at the heart of black

every child`s dread
reach under the bed
what will you bring back

take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep

brave vivid strong
your unwritten song
waiting in the deep

take me with you
show me all the hues
that make up your blues
in the deep


© Robert Cordrey June 2020

Robertkc #602348 06/16/20 03:10 PM
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What a beautiful song Robert. Lovely lyric and perfect vocal. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Robertkc #602390 06/17/20 01:27 AM
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I really like this, Robert. Well written as always.

Love the the harmonies during the chorus, and very effective bringing back that first verse for the ending.

Enjoyed!

Robertkc #602393 06/17/20 02:06 AM
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Style fits the (very poetic) lyrics perfectly, cello enhances the mood and the sound fx clinches the deal. Well done.


My music may not set the world on fire but if it causes a glow in just one person's heart, it has all been worthwhile smile
Robertkc #602411 06/17/20 04:42 AM
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Robert,

This is really good. On every level.

Excellent write. Definitely a new favorite. The short phrases really show off your lyric strengths.

Good BAND. Good vocal. They fit together really well. The shaker is the perfect choice for RD/percussion. There are times when the cello and acoustic bass get pretty "bass-y" (like at the first "take me with you") - the combination of their low frequencies - rolling off a bit of low end on one of them might open that up some.

Cool ending. (maybe a little louder than it needs to be?)

I very much enjoyed this. Great job.

fj

Robertkc #602425 06/17/20 07:17 AM
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Robert,
Nice airy tune. Cello was an excellent choice!
Lyrics...something I look up to smile
A good contrast to your denser tunes. Listens very well.
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Robertkc #602455 06/17/20 12:24 PM
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Great song, I love when I completely 'get' your lyrics as I did with this one. (Cryptic is good, too, usually) Really like all your musical choices, made for a great piece. Excellent!

Last edited by TuneMonger; 06/18/20 10:44 PM.

Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
Robertkc #602509 06/17/20 03:18 PM
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Robert,

A very poetic write, coupled with your usual stellar vocals—real pretty tune. I was particularly struck by these lines:

"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

But there were a bunch that really resonated here. Very well done, Robert!

All my best,

Deej

floyd jane #602608 06/18/20 06:06 AM
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Originally Posted By: Scott C
What a beautiful song Robert. Lovely lyric and perfect vocal. Well done


Thank you, Scott!



Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
I really like this, Robert. Well written as always.

Love the the harmonies during the chorus, and very effective bringing back that first verse for the ending.

Enjoyed!


Dave,
Glad you liked this- thank you for your consistent support!

Originally Posted By: Ghostgum
Style fits the (very poetic) lyrics perfectly, cello enhances the mood and the sound fx clinches the deal. Well done.



Thanks for those positive comments!

Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Robert,

This is really good. On every level.

Excellent write. Definitely a new favorite. The short phrases really show off your lyric strengths.

Good BAND. Good vocal. They fit together really well. The shaker is the perfect choice for RD/percussion. There are times when the cello and acoustic bass get pretty "bass-y" (like at the first "take me with you") - the combination of their low frequencies - rolling off a bit of low end on one of them might open that up some.

Cool ending. (maybe a little louder than it needs to be?)

I very much enjoyed this. Great job.

fj



Thanks Floyd,
Combining a cello and bass is tricky ( I dropped the bowed bass in the style as the clash was too much)- will have a look at the low end eq again.
I appreciate your alert listen and kind comments!

Robert

Robertkc #602633 06/18/20 09:20 AM
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"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

Deej already quoted that but, hey, it's our fav too.

Well, another fav that Janice just mentioned smile

"take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep"

We much like the vocals, nice harmony, and the acoustic guitars
and cello were tailor made for the composition.

Janice, the eternal child, said she was already envisioning tree frogs
and fireflies (lightening bugs as us Southerners call them) before the tag.

I sometimes speculate that perhaps children are not meant to be understood...

Nice!

J&B

Robertkc #602663 06/18/20 02:58 PM
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Another great song. I listened through some of your tracks on soundcloud and I really love your poetic lyrics and the sensitive arrangements. Really good stuff...


Chris
More of my music at: https://soundcloud.com/user-663569023
Robertkc #602677 06/18/20 06:57 PM
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Robert ...

You give poetic music a new and higher definition. So much said in so few words. And the vocal is wonderful! The acoustic backing, with such a nice arrangement, only adds to the sentiment and power presented the well-chosen words. This is really something to be proud of. So very nice!

Best to you. Be safe ...

Alan


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Robertkc #602794 06/19/20 06:45 PM
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Well crafted tune. Lovely lyrics and vocals. I too love that cello. Beautiful touch. Nice one.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
Robertkc #602799 06/19/20 09:58 PM
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Wow, I'm stunned. Loved every bit of the song - vocals, arrangement, harmony.

Robertkc #602809 06/20/20 12:25 AM
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Very cool.
Personally I'd've ditched the bass and let the cello cover the bottom end with a little EQ to increase the bottom E on the finger picked acoustic, and panned those up the middle I suppose.


Cheers
rayc
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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Robert,
Nice airy tune. Cello was an excellent choice!
Lyrics...something I look up to smile
A good contrast to your denser tunes. Listens very well.
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.


Thank you, Misha!

Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great song, I love when I completely 'get' your lyrics as I did with this one. (Cryptic is good, too, usually) Really like all your musical choices, made for a great piece. Excellent!


Cryptic service will be resumed soon; thank you for your appreciative comments!


Originally Posted By: Deej56
Robert,

A very poetic write, coupled with your usual stellar vocals—real pretty tune. I was particularly struck by these lines:

"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

But there were a bunch that really resonated here. Very well done, Robert!

All my best,

Deej


That`s very kind- thank you!

Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
"I know that look
in your open book
you lost your place"

Deej already quoted that but, hey, it's our fav too.

Well, another fav that Janice just mentioned smile

"take me with you
show me all the hues
that makeup your blues
in the deep"

We much like the vocals, nice harmony, and the acoustic guitars
and cello were tailor made for the composition.

Janice, the eternal child, said she was already envisioning tree frogs
and fireflies (lightening bugs as us Southerners call them) before the tag.

I sometimes speculate that perhaps children are not meant to be understood...

Nice!

J&B





Please let Janice know that the opening lines ( which is where the song idea came from) were exactly that experience of night creatures (bats/bugs/birds- heard, felt, not seen) from tropical nights.
I agree with your observation about understanding kids... one that level the song is an example of trying too hard to make sense of their world!

Robert


Last edited by Robertkc; 06/20/20 08:29 AM.
Robertkc #602884 06/20/20 08:58 AM
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Hi Robert,

A sweet melody, melancholic and so nicely sung!
As others already said; the cello fits so nice in it, a good instrument for this song!

And -as usual- brilliant lyrics!
I hope one day I can write one of this kind...

Hans


Hans Berkhout
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https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
Robertkc #602901 06/20/20 12:53 PM
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Robert

A lovely delicate piece (almost a Nick Drake feel) well performed and arranged.
A very enticing lyric, and overall very well done.

Peter

Robertkc #602922 06/20/20 03:28 PM
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A lyric to melt into delivered with soft grace. The band is all it needs to be, and the progression (and melody wrung from it) moves me as well. Excellent package.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
Robertkc #602996 06/21/20 07:49 AM
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I enjoyed the simple poetic lyric, mysterious imagery expressed in few words. Not a haiku but I had to count the syllables smile The beautiful chording works very well with the picking guitar and that nice melodic cello. Great ending like falling into a colorful dream.

Janne


Hear My Music:

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