Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#615793 - 09/19/20 10:53 PM [User Showcase] The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Hello Folks,
on another forum a chap told me I ought to play chords for longer than a bar, sing more softly and, without saying so, be more like him. A chap who writes slower songs with intricate chords, beautiful picking styles and so forth. I have few of the skills needed to do the things he recommended. I did have a go though. Before my last track, Idee Fixx, I wrote and recorded something as an exercise in the suggested processes, forms, etc.
This track has Rock Northern ^4 drums as well as two iterations of Celtic Strings and a Cello track to help disguise the shortcomings.
HB 12 string electric on one side, Squire Bullet Mustang on the other with a knock off Hofner bass up the centre.
[Link no longer valid]
Remix based on fj's comments primarily...
[Link no longer valid]

Lyrics...(dragged out of a folio of my scribblings from the late 70s to very early 80s.)

The Dismissal
V1
I’m reading the letters
You wrote me long ago
The memories are there
But the letters come no more, I know
Each page holds you there
Between the words and the sorrow
Between the words and the sorrow
Chorus
It’s cold so I lie on my bed
And remember
The 1st and the last time
I saw you
And in these memories I’ve found
A reason to be
And in these letters I’ve found
Your dreams I couldn’t see
V2
The paper has browned
From my touch as I read them
Each word burnt in my memory
But I need them.
I’ll read them again
And again come tomorrow
Come tomorrow
SOLO

Chorus

I’m reading the letters
You wrote me long ago
The memories are there
But the letters come no more, I know
They are words
And words are all that I have now
Merely words
But the words are you somehow

Chorus


Edited by Andrew - PG Music (10/13/20 11:06 PM)
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#615833 - 09/20/20 07:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 845
Loc: Belgium
Derochette Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 845
Loc: Belgium
Hello Rayc,

Your chord progression is quite original because it allows you to immerse us in a strange and interesting atmosphere In this context, we are really attentive to your well thought out lyric. Good work.

Best regards

Dero13
aliasJaniJackFlash

Top
#615837 - 09/20/20 08:02 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
ray,

I applaud your willingness to explore new avenues. I don't think you need advice from "..A chap who writes slower songs with intricate chords, beautiful picking styles and so forth." Your upbeat Punk-leaning songs/production are some of the coolest offerings on these forums.

The instrumentation is cool. Very well done. The combination of strings/synths/guitars is excellent. Pink Floydish. It gets a bit repetitive after a while - some change-up along the way would be nice. Or some BGVs. The drums are a bit "plodding" and are the "weak link" (opinion).

The mix sounds good.

fj

Top
#615858 - 09/20/20 09:13 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1363
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1363
I think it's pretty cool that you took somebody's suggestions and subverted them, converted them to your own sensibility. The results of the experiment are quirky, expressive, and emotionally impactful. Success. Sounds good on these monitors too.


Edited by Tangmo (09/20/20 09:14 AM)
Edit Reason: punctuation and grammar for the English teacher.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

Top
#615888 - 09/20/20 03:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: Derochette]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: Dero13
Hello Rayc,
Your chord progression is quite original because it allows you to immerse us in a strange and interesting atmosphere In this context, we are really attentive to your well thought out lyric. Good work.
Best regards
Dero13
aliasJaniJackFlash

Thanks Dero,
A maj & F Min with no minor chords is a little odd I'll grant you.
I can't really take credit for a lyric I wrote about 40 years ago...that was a different animal entirely.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#615889 - 09/20/20 03:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
ray,
It gets a bit repetitive after a while - some change-up along the way would be nice. Or some BGVs. The drums are a bit "plodding" and are the "weak link" (opinion).
fj

I'll have a bash at those suggestions. The song is a useful experimentation platform.
Thanks.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#615891 - 09/20/20 03:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: Tangmo]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: Tangmo
I think it's pretty cool that you took somebody's suggestions and subverted them, converted them to your own sensibility. The results of the experiment are quirky, expressive, and emotionally impactful. Success. Sounds good on these monitors too.

Thanks Tangmo, I appreciate your appraisal.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#615912 - 09/20/20 07:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1367
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1367
Loc: Maryland
I liked it and thought it was a bit different from your usual fare. I wished the vocals were a little more prominent, maybe more than a little. Cool vibe to song that is your own thing, as I hear it. Well done!
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

Top
#615951 - 09/21/20 02:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: TuneMonger]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3295
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
I liked it and thought it was a bit different from your usual fare. I wished the vocals were a little more prominent, maybe more than a little. Cool vibe to song that is your own thing, as I hear it. Well done!

Thanks TuneMonger,
The updated mix has louder vocals, less string and a changed drum.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

Top
#615953 - 09/21/20 03:02 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3931
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I had a listen to the original mix yesterday (didn't have time to comment) and the new mix this morning. Updated mix is better, vocals are now sitting where they should be I think.

Very different from what I'm used to hearing from you, and I prefer your punk stuff to be honest, but this is cool too.

Top
#615978 - 09/21/20 07:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
F.M.M. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2247
Hi Rayc love this excellent mix very progressive song engaging all the way through love this kind of stuff thanks for sharing Eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series

Top
#615995 - 09/21/20 10:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2352
Loc: Finland
jannesan Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2352
Loc: Finland
Fascinating soundtrack type of intro, nice mix of progressive rock ballad and new wave. I like the feeling of 'early recordings' both musically and lyrically and how you have turned it to a well produced experience with nice use of the string and gospel vocal RTs. Intriguing chording.

Janne
_________________________
Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube


Top
#616024 - 09/21/20 01:27 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 848
jptjptjpt Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 848
I always like the moods you capture in your songs. This one too. Good production. I don't know what instruments are live and which are BnB, but they all sound good. Interesting lyrics. Unsettling. Good work.
_________________________
My latest video upload is a tongue-in-cheek country song called "I Won't Be Home Tonight":

https://youtu.be/JwblUfdbsEk

My music can be heard at: http://thecracks.bandcamp.com/

Top
#616039 - 09/21/20 03:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 1219
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Birchwood Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/30/16
Posts: 1219
Loc: Netherlands, Haarlem
Hi Ray,

Some years ago a drummer told me to put in an extra bar between verses and chorusses, although it's wrong if you look at it musically.
But it gives a singer more space or rest and it sounds more relaxed.
Well I do this quite often in my songs and it works well. Now you wrote a more or less similair story about that extra bar.
It was nice to read it.

The song is nice and indeed slow. But I prefer slower songs, as you might have noticed. I think the way you sang in your last songs before this one is more how I like it. in this song your voice sounds a bit thin and sharp. It gives the impression you were somewhat insecure. I know you're not, so try your more blacker/darker voice also on this nice song. It will sound more powerful, I think.
But don't change the melody. It is good, even with extra bars in it.

Hans
_________________________
Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130

Top
#616109 - 09/22/20 06:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9498
Loc: Florida
ray,

Excellent.

The re-work really took this to a different level. The changes are all well done and help keep the ear engaged. Good mix.

Great job.

fj

Top
#616171 - 09/22/20 05:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 535
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Hi Ray
Go your own way, I say. That said, this is a moody and intriguing piece. By no means an easy one to sing, so I think you did pretty well. Judging by the lyrics, your younger self clearly had some insight into the bittersweet pain of lost love. Your video for Idee Fixx looks good, by the way.
Regards,
Leon

Top
#616179 - 09/22/20 06:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5974
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Very cool tune. Loved the vocal. Loved the reverb in the vocal. I got a Pink Floyd vibe as well. Excellent instrument choice. Well done

Top
#616186 - 09/22/20 07:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2979
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2979
Ray,
Listened 2 side by side. Re-mix wins! I just think it can be just a hint louder overall (it maybe that I am going deaf too.)
----
Disorienting smile
I believe that experiments like this, even if they are outside of comfort zone, still very important and beneficial to creative processes. It is a quirky tune, which is distant from what I have heard by you, but surely has a place to "live". I like it because I find flow unusual and hypnotic, but not to the point of rejection. Keeps attention afloat.

P.S. An side idea on this, if one day you decide to try something else. Maybe straight talking vocals? Soft, but without emotion. Meaning, letting music do the emotion part and non-melodic lyrics just to add another dimension.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Top
#616284 - 09/23/20 01:05 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1166
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
Expert

Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1166
Loc: Illinois
Sounds better.
I think it's a great idea to take advantage of useful criticism but, I believe songs should be an expression of owns own unique character.
_________________________
An Old Man Make'n Music

https://sites.google.com/view/captainmoto-com/home?authuser=0

Top
#616460 - 09/24/20 02:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Dismissal - An Exercise In Other People's Shoes [Re: rayc]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3128
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3128
Ray,
A bold and sensitive progressive ballad from the Pygmy Beat!
The chord progression and arrangement held my attention... and the core lines are well written:

in these letters I’ve found
Your dreams I couldn’t see

I like that and the hazy feel of the whole:like an album song that`s not the headliner but soaks in with listens.

Robert

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


PG Music News
RealBand® Works Great in Windows® 11!

Here's an introductory look at RealBand® running on the preview version of Windows® 11!

Watch the video.

Customers LOVE Band-in-a-Box® 2021!

Check out some of the latest Band-in-a-Box® feedback we've received:

"There's a saying 'Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.' That's exactly what my friend did in 1990. He taught me how to use BIAB and I've used it hundreds of time to do arraignment and to jam with any style band."

"Love BIAB. I use it daily. Their support is great too!"

"RealTracks are amazing!!! I use BIAB for backtracks in my solo act... Still using the basic package and it's all need..."

"I have used Band in A Box for many years. If it would have been around when I was young, I would have been a much better musician. I use it for all my songs I have written and recorded. With Band In A Box I can sit in my room and sound like a whole band without having to put up with them!"

"If you know something about music and take the time to learn the program, you can make it do some amazing things. It is a great help to songwriters who want to demo their song without paying for studio time. It makes changes and tweaks much easier as well."

"Been using it for so many years. It's a great tool. The instruments that I don't have or play make up the void and it saves so much time. I use this program for every song I write."

"Great tool for the songwriter!"

"An essential part of my studio! I write songs on piano, but I'm not a pianist by a long way. BIAB is like having a roomful of session players in your studio, and just the simple act of taking your basic idea and hearing a skilled pianist play it presents so many new ideas and options you hadn't thought of."

"Powerful, easy to use, inexpensive and they even split the modest payments up if you want. No complaints. Lots of satisfaction."

"I added a steel guitar to a fully produced original. He followed every change like he was in the studio reading the chart. Fascinating technology!"

"I have used it to make backing tracks for six CD's with about 12 songs on each. They make a great gift!"

"It's simply a necessity - buy it now - the staff and support do a great job as well!"

"A great tool for us songwriters!"

"I LOVE Band-in-a-Box!"

"I see it as a very worthwhile investment. In fact, from initial purchase about 8 years ago, using the backing tracks I have made, my income from that investment has returned over 5,000% on the investment!"

continued...

Do you have something to say about Band-in-a-Box®? Post your own thoughts for Windows or Mac version today!

Band-in-a-Box® - Boxing Clever - Sound on Sound #TBT

Did you know that Band-in-a-Box® is more than 30 years old? I stumbled across this 1990 magazine article explaining the relatively new program, and think it's an enjoyable read for any Band-in-a-Box user - it really shows that we are always listening to user feedback when developing our program!

Read the article: Boxing Clever: Band-In-A-Box Software

A few of my favorite statements:

"The intention of PG Music's Band-In-A-Box package is to couple that speed and convenience with the improved flexibility of the personal computer. Versions are available for the Atari ST, Mac, and PC compatibles. Have the programmers succeeded? And can they rid themselves of the stigma of the auto-accompaniment section? Given the above state of affairs, the first hurdle that the program has to overcome is one of acceptance and, frankly, a name like 'Band-In-A-Box' is a bad start."

(I think our name was a great start!)

"The final results are, to say the least, impressive. Band-In-A-Box achieves something that most hardwired auto-accompaniment sections have never been able to do - inject a degree of feel into the music. It really does sound more human than so many of the computer generated pieces I've heard."

"...I'm quite convinced that PG Music will have a winner on their hands. This is one piece of software that you can get more out of than you put in."

#TipTuesday Convert RealDrums to MIDI!

Did you know that you can convert RealDrums to MIDI?

VintageGibson shared this tip to our Tips & Tricks forum, which is a great place to look for program tips from other Band-in-a-Box users!

Read this handy trick.

Have a program tip or trick of your own? Share it on our Tips & Tricks forum today!

Band-in-a-Box® 2021 Italian for Mac is Here!

Abbiamo lavorato tanto e abbiamo aggiunto 80 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria collezione di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 202 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, SuperTracks MIDI, Studi Strumentali, Performance degli Artisti, Bonus RealDrums "Singoli", trascrizioni RealDrums, MultiStyles PAK 1, Xtra Styles PAKs 10 e 11, e altro ancora!

Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche

Export / Print a List of Selected Styles (Band-in-a-Box®)

Did you know that you can export a list of your Styles from Band-in-a-Box®?

Head to this forum post in our "Tips & Tricks" forum, where VideoTrack shares another handy tip for Band-in-a-Box® users!

Band-in-a-Box® Chord List Resource

Ever wonder which chords are supported in Band-in-a-Box®? Access the information from the Help file in the program, or read through the list with our Online Manual!

Chord List - Mac Online Manual
Chord List - Windows Online Manual

Review the other Reference topcs while you're there - with explanations of the different menus and the Keystroke Commands (Hot Keys), you'll definitely learn something new!

Forum Stats
34896 Members
66 Forums
70902 Topics
614177 Posts

Max Online: 2537 @ 01/19/20 07:09 AM
Newest Members
Tobi, map23, KrystalRobinson, Sachmo, DeborahRoughton

34895 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
VideoTrack 211
swingbabymix 211
Pipeline 166
Simon - PG Music 158
Jim Fogle 147
Matt Finley 145
David Snyder 124
MarioD 117
rayc 112
MusicStudent 110
Today's Birthdays
chardin, Steve Ducote