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#619982 - 10/21/20 06:24 PM [User Showcase] The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger)
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
HI, all:

Here’s a first time collaboration with TuneMonger, who penned the lyrics. First off, much thanks to Tune for his patience with me on this one . . . and more so for his many listens and thoughtful feedback along the way. I’m sure he’s as sick of listening to this as I am by now. smirk Truly, he was a pleasure to work with!

With regard to the tune, I’m certain there’s much in the mix that needs fine-tuning, but I find when I’m at that point where I’m fiddling with no specific purpose and at risk of mucking it up all the more, it’s time to let it go, warts and all. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. A little bit more of an ambitious arrangement and different sound (for me at least), which made it fun to do. We hope you enjoy it!

Here’s the song:

THE MOON HAS LOST ITS GLOW

Here are the lyrics:

Moonlight was my whole world,
swaying to Glenn Miller,
then her hair came uncurled
when I had hoped to thrill her.
It’s hard to face the night I know;
who needs all the extra woe—
it seems the moon has lost its glow.

Ain’t no say or play about it,
love just hit the rocks—
all its pieces fit
on display within a box.
It’s hard to face the night I know;
who needs all the extra woe—
just seems the moon has lost its glow.

Well, it seems the moon has lost its glow;
city lights lost power.
Where's a couple gonna go
when he wants a chance to wow her?
Well, it's hard to face the night I know;
who needs all the extra woe—
just seems the moon has lost its glow.

I spend my nights in neon bars
where shadows hide the lonely.
But it covers up all my scars,
so here's my number, phone me.
Yeah, it's hard to face the night I know;
who needs all the extra woe—
just seems the moon has lost its glow.

How many fell in love by moonlight?
How many wished upon a star?
Where in the world is my true love so right?
Why does she seem to be so very far?

That clarinet blew oh so sweet,
everyone got up to dance.
What a brilliant way to meet;
what a moment, what a chance.
But I'm alone and very low.
It seems the moon has lost its glow.
It could be me, alright, I know—
Am I the only one with woe?
Yes, it's hard to face the night I know;
who needs all the extra woe—
it seems the moon has lost its glow.

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 519: Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 120
RealTracks 884: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm TexasBluesRockLowA-B Ev 165
RealTracks 882: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm TexasBluesRockHighOffbeat Ev 165
RealTracks 502: Electric, Rhythm, StoneZ Honky
RealTracks 2151: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm NewOrleansBoogieKevin Ev 165
RealTracks 715: Sax, Tenor, Soloist Rock Boogie Ev 160
RealTracks 686: Organ, B3, Background Pop Ev 120
RealTracks 1967: Clarinet, Soloist DixielandMediumA-B Sw 110 (Bluesy)
RealDrums: NashvilleEven8^8-a:Snare, HiHat Open , b:Snare, Ride

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#619992 - 10/21/20 06:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5569
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5569
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Very cool collaboration. Another super vocal and loved the lyric. Excellent backtrack. Loved the bass runs and the drums were perfect.

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#620007 - 10/21/20 07:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 662
jptjptjpt Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 662
Wow! A big production. Great 50s Rock and Roll swing. Great lyrics. Nice recording. Good job to both of you. Well done.


Edited by jptjptjpt (10/21/20 07:54 PM)
_________________________
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#620019 - 10/21/20 11:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 372
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 372
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Excellent collaboration, guys. Big, toe-tapping sound, super vocal performance. Much enjoyed.
Regards,
Leon

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#620051 - 10/22/20 04:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2789
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2789
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Big.
It's a strange melange of sounds but it works a treat.
As always a melody with your voice is always going to sound cool.
TuneMonger's rhyming of woe is a treat too- nice narrative.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#620082 - 10/22/20 06:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Really enjoyed this - it has a uniqueness to that I found appeal, and the lyrics are top notch. Love the groove as well and thought the vocals were delivered well. Thanks for sharing smile
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#620093 - 10/22/20 07:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9044
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9044
Loc: Florida
Deej & TM,

A lot of good things happening here.

The lyrics are colorful and unique, original.

The BAND is full and Rockin'. The piano and sax are notable.

The vocal is energetic and powerful. Lively.

All good stuff. But, I thought there was a real disconnect between the lyric verbiage/story and the music. I listened several times to "give it a chance" and I just couldn't get over the they-don't-work-together feeling. I'm obviously an outlier in that regard - everyone else seems to love the combination.
The mix was good level-wise and instrument-wise, but to my ear (on detailed speakers) it was overly bright-EQ'd. The piano brightness was good to help it cut through the mix, but the rhythm guitar was bright, too, so there was a lack of "balance" there. And the sax had a "brightness" as well. All that brightness competed with the vocal (which had an excellent tone - the right amount of "bright").

Good to see you guys hook up - both talented music makers.

fj

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#620106 - 10/22/20 08:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 859
Loc: Illinois
CaptainMoto Offline
Expert

Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 859
Loc: Illinois
Nice to have a collaborating partner.

I'm torn.
On one hand, the massive instrumentation with the vocal bouncing around on top of it, kept me listening.
On the flip side, I have to agree with FJ, there's not much tonal separation making it a little harsh listening.

I fully understand the mixing fatigue that can cause unnecessary adjustments.
Stick with it.
My recommendation is, find a few good reference tracks with the same vibe and try some critical listening against those to guide any improvements.


Edited by CaptainMoto (10/22/20 08:15 AM)
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#620109 - 10/22/20 08:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Hi, all:

Thanks all for the listen and thoughts.

A quick comment here on the mix based on the feedback above. I just went back into my DAW and realized that either I had never EQ'd the guitars and sax or somewhere along the line the program dropped it. I'd like to blame the latter however unlikely, but it's more likely an oversight on my part. I'll see what I can do to tone down the brightness a bit more on the guitars and sax, which might help address some of the concerns above.

Unfortunately, I can't do much to address Floyd's other feedback regarding the style of music relative to the lyric . . . just they way I went with it, and that lies with me, not TuneMonger. I'm happy enough with the combination, but appreciate Floyd's thoughts and reaction.

I'll circle back shortly with, hopefully, a slightly better mix, if my limited skills can pull it off.

Deej

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#620117 - 10/22/20 09:29 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 718
Loc: Virginia
Belladonna Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 718
Loc: Virginia
Deej, I can see you've been hard at work. I love the 50s upbeat swing sound. I do agree doesn't exactly match the lyrics which seem to be brooding and sort of sad, so a slower more moody match would have told the story better IMHO. An Andy Williams or Frank Sinatra crooner style.

However, I thought it would have been interesting to have the verses tell the lost my lover story with a slow, moody type sound and then the chorus, amp it up with a but I'm so glad she's gone and I don't care if the moon lost it's glow, let's party.

Would be a lot of contrast there. But great job you both, the lyrics are well written and interesting and your music is still a good song and production. I do agree with Floyd, just doesn't mesh well with the lyrics.

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#620123 - 10/22/20 09:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3003
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3003
Deej & Tunemonger,
The storyline is fun and well developed with those cute rhymes, like these:

I spend my nights in neon bars
where shadows hide the lonely.
But it covers up all my scars,
so here's my number, phone me.

The pace of the song had me listening close to keep up, but you sing with great energy and clarity.
You already have lots of feedback on the mix; I enjoyed this as is and will be interested to hear a redo if that`s where you take it.

Robert

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#620131 - 10/22/20 10:37 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 919
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Scott, jpt3, rayc, Deryk, Floyd, CaptainMoto, Belladonna, and Robert:

Thanks again, all, for the listen and great feedback. More to my note above, I've jumped in and done a "quick" EQ fix on the guitars and sax, and a few other minor adjustments. The link should go to the tweaked version. I'm not sure that's made a great difference, but hopefully better. Quite frankly, I need to step away from the mix at this point and come back at it with fresh ears in a week or so.

Floyd and Belladonna,

Appreciate the thoughts on the lyric/music match. The bones of it is what I came up with when I picked up the guitar--and, again, that choice was mine, not Tune's. I'm hopeful it works for most . . . but, if not, then if nothing else we have a great lyric looking for some musical backing, and some musical backing in search of a lyric. And that's something, at least, LOL! smile Again, appreciate the honesty.

My best to you all,

Deej

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#620134 - 10/22/20 10:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 10/02/19
Posts: 186
Loc: Aberdeen, NC
Bawb Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 10/02/19
Posts: 186
Loc: Aberdeen, NC
Hi Deej56,

When I saw the lyrics "Glenn Miller", I wasn't expecting this song to be such a rocker! The sax added in kind of hints at Glenn Miller Band at times.

You've got a fun arrangement with that cool break.

At times, it kind of reminds me of a Sha-Na-Na song, especially with the piano and sax playing at the same time.

I can't really pin down the era, but at this point, it don't matter. Good music is good music and brother, this is a cool rockin tune. Good vocals and nice write.

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#620374 - 10/24/20 06:22 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1320
Loc: Germany
Crossroads Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1320
Loc: Germany
Hi Deej & Tunemonger,

great collab. Couldn't keep my feet from tapping. Good sound, good vocals. A real, real, real good lisen!

Cheers,

Stefan

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#620381 - 10/24/20 06:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 805
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 805
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Deeej & TuneMonger, this is a very cool collab. Man, those lyrics are sooo good. What a wonderful production, and use of instruments. Excellent voice, and I know what you mean about mix fatigue, Deej.
_________________________
Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper & Cakewalk

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#620409 - 10/24/20 08:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1147
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1147
Loc: Maryland
I just want to say I'm really happy with how the song turned out. Deej involved me throughout, even though I was just the lyricist. I heard it when it was just his voice and an acoustic guitar, all the way to the final production and was thrilled with it. I still am. It was a fantastic experience collaborating with a talent like Deej and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
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Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

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#620483 - 10/25/20 04:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3639
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3639
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Good song, guys!

TuneMonger certainly has some seriously good writing chops, and I thought you did a good job bringing the words to life with the music you created.

Enjoyed.

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#620501 - 10/25/20 06:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1025
Loc: United Kingdom
musician17 Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1025
Loc: United Kingdom
Good job! Deej's writing, voice, the brilliant lyrics by Tunemonger and that PG Music piano in the background make this song, for me. Not to forget Deej's interpretation with a good dollop of a sense of a humour in it! By the last stanza, I was actually dancing (attempting to, at least). That stanza took it to the level before and then some :-)

On my second listen, now - but, if I may be allowed to say this, this is vintage Deej. One of his best - making the very best of these great lyrics. Bravo to both!!!
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#620576 - 10/25/20 03:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6131
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6131
Loc: Davis, CA
Fun song!! Clever, fun lyric and a nice upbeat musical accompaniment!! Really cool collab guys!! Take care. Greg

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#620701 - 10/26/20 01:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Moon Has Lost Its Glow (w/TuneMonger) [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 9976
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 9976
Loc: GA USA
We liked the juxtaposing of big band era references set to a rock groove.

The story line is timeless ... dancing to a big band or rock. And DJ put his rock
vocal stamp on it big time. Great collab.

That number of tracks is above my mixing pay grade but it all laid out well on the monitors.

TM said, "Deej involved me throughout, even though I was just the lyricist." Well that "even though"
is a huge part of the song. There are a lot of folks who would love to be just the lyricist if they
could write like you.

Good one y'all!

J&B

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