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#654747 05/07/21 05:13 AM
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A co-write with my buddy Reid Richmond.
This was published by Millhouse Music.
They pitched it hard for a while (mid 90's). Mostly to the hat acts at the time.
It was heard by someone from Tanya Tucker's camp and they thought it would be right for her if we could rewrite the opening lines to change the gender.
Which, of course, we did... and sent it over.
They put it on hold. That lasted a few weeks and then was dropped. Typical.

I hadn't ever recorded it myself, so I thought I would.
I asked my musical-sister to join me for the harmonies (no brainer).



THAT'S MY HEART

hey you, watch what you're doing, girl, that ain't no toy
it's the only thing in this whole world belongs to this ol' boy
i never would have let you have it if i'd ever known
you weren't gonna handle it as if it were your own
hey, you, be careful that's my heart

   that's my heart that you've put through the ringer
   wrapped around your little finger
   strung it out, then hung it out to dry
   that's my heart , girl, that you've been trashin'
   in your worst cold-hearted fashion
   been unfair to, left it there to cry
   if you can't love it like you promised why don't you just give it back
   if you must be cruel to something, don't be cruel to that
   that's my heart

hey, you, watch what you're doing, take a little care
you've got me picking up pieces everywhere
you said you'd give me yours for mine, cause that's how it's meant to be
but i've just got an empty space and you got the best of me
hey, you, be careful that's my heart

   that's my heart that you've put through the ringer...

©1996 floyd jane and reid richmond.



The BAND:
Style is M_RBILBC.STY (Rockabilly Billy Even 100 w/ MST)

RealTracks in style: 2421:Bass, Acoustic, RockabillySlapBoomChicka Ev16 100
MIDI SuperTracks in style: 2470:Piano, Rhythm RockabillyBoomChickaKevin Ev 100
RealDrums [in style:BoomChickaEv16^01-a: Brush, Train, b: Rods, Train

RealTracks in song: 1518:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryWorkinBrent Ev16 090
RealTracks in song: 2913:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm CountryTrainBeatBrent12-key Ev16 090
RealTracks in song: 2518:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking BoomChickJoe Ev16 110 (Simple)
RealTracks in song: ~597:Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Ev 100

Harmonies: The Amazing Janice Merritt
(Thanks! y'all!!!)


Comments welcomed, as always.
Have at it.

fj

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Great write! laugh

Strong intro, leading directly to the hook.

Despite having read the title, I didn't guess the "reveal" until it showed up at the end of the first verse. Like good pop, it felt obvious and inevitable.

Clever lyrics, catchy melody.

Excellent vocals - front and back.

Driving backing track... almost "bouncy". The band is hot.

Favorite clever line among many: if you must be cruel to something, don't be cruel to that

I was thinking "Wow, this is a short song!, but it's not really - it just makes me want to hear it again once I get to the end.

laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Floyd,

For a write from the mid 90s this has a completely fresh sound. A great vocal delivery by you (and harmonies by Janice) as always and a crisp mix.

I could also hear Dwight Yoakam doing this song. It has that kind of authentic feel that is so hard to get - would make a great album title and opening cut...

Excellent stuff! Loved it!

Bob

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Nice one. I could hear TT singing that.

Nice work.


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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
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Hi floyd jane,

Your composition has not aged any more. The lyrics fit perfectly with the musical arrangement. It's very catchy. Janice's double voice is well positioned and enriches your composition. Your compositions are always so pleasant to listen to.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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floyd

Great song. Hard to see why that one wasn't recorded as it is instantly engaging.

Lovely vocal and a great backing vocal by Janice.

Superb arrangement and mix.

Pro all the way.

Peter

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Very catchy and sounds current to me. Not that I'm an expert on the genre mind you! wink

Love the arrangement (great intro) and of course the mix is spot on.

And something special always happens with Janice in the mix, you two sound great together.

Good one, floyd, enjoyed.

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Love it! A deceptively upbeat song :-) Pro job - both from you and from Janice and her seamless harmonies. Congrats to all! :-)

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More great internal rhyme than inside the covers of a book on internal rhyme...or something. It's kinda rare when the lyric grabs me first, but this one did. It has the feel of a country song the Beatles would have covered back in the day if the stars had aligned and time was more malleable. Just great.


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dcuny #654954 05/09/21 05:27 AM
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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Great write! laugh

Strong intro, leading directly to the hook.

Despite having read the title, I didn't guess the "reveal" until it showed up at the end of the first verse. Like good pop, it felt obvious and inevitable.

Clever lyrics, catchy melody.

Excellent vocals - front and back.

Driving backing track... almost "bouncy". The band is hot.

Favorite clever line among many: if you must be cruel to something, don't be cruel to that

I was thinking "Wow, this is a short song!, but it's not really - it just makes me want to hear it again once I get to the end.

laugh


David - you touched on all the parts that make it work...Thanks!!

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very current love this. great production and very pro sound !!! thanks Eric


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rsdean #655023 05/09/21 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted By: rsdean
Floyd,

For a write from the mid 90s this has a completely fresh sound. A great vocal delivery by you (and harmonies by Janice) as always and a crisp mix.

I could also hear Dwight Yoakam doing this song. It has that kind of authentic feel that is so hard to get - would make a great album title and opening cut...

Excellent stuff! Loved it!

Bob


Thanks, Bob. Appreciate that...

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What a cool intro Floyd. Must have been thrilling then ultimately disappointing that the song was not developed. I think they made a mistake. This is an excellent tune. Super vocal and just loved the chicken picken..


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Floyd,

This sounds really great. Love the older Nashville sound and Janice's work.

The vocals are super classy. Really an excellent write and production.

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A bouncer in the backseat. One of those songs that when you're out for a ride just listening to music with friends and the driver kicks it into overdrive because she just can't sit still through this one. After that harrowing experience you just ask her to play it again. Grewat write and excellent choice of harmony skills.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Floyd,
A clever write nicely paired to the bouncy rhythm - your vocals are a great example of how to sing tight, fast paced lyrics and its always a pleasure to hear Janice joining in.
I can definitely hear how a country singer with real twang would have fun with this.

Robert

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Nice song. Well written. Nice vocals by both of you. The band plays along nicely. Too bad that Nashville doesn't play this style of country any longer. We are all the worse for it.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
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Bob & Derochette,

Thanks very much for mentioning my harmony. It was a delight to be invited in on this.

Janice

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Top job Floyd, this really packs in everything.

The driving bass sits absolutely perfectly in the mix and keeps everything swinging along really nicely.

Lots to like about this. Lots.


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Great song with lots of tasty internal rhyme! Performance and production both stellar. I'm sure it has you wondering just how close it was to being a hit. Sounds like one to me.


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Excellent write Floyd (and Reid). The band you've assembled sounds great, as of course do you and Janice. A real shame it wasn't picked up by Tanya Tucker or one of the hats. Bob mentioned Dwight Yoakam - I can totally hear him doing it.
Regards,
Leon

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Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Nice one. I could hear TT singing that.

Nice work.


Thanks, Herb...


Originally Posted By: Derochette
Hi floyd jane,

Your composition has not aged any more. The lyrics fit perfectly with the musical arrangement. It's very catchy. Janice's double voice is well positioned and enriches your composition. Your compositions are always so pleasant to listen to.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Thanks, Derochette. Janice always takes things to a new level.

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Darn good stuff. Shame they didn't pick it up. Excellent vocal performances.

Your production sounds like an authentic band.

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Originally Posted By: PeterF
floyd

Great song. Hard to see why that one wasn't recorded as it is instantly engaging.

Lovely vocal and a great backing vocal by Janice.

Superb arrangement and mix.

Pro all the way.

Peter


Thanks for the nice comments, Peter...


Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Very catchy and sounds current to me. Not that I'm an expert on the genre mind you! wink

Love the arrangement (great intro) and of course the mix is spot on.

And something special always happens with Janice in the mix, you two sound great together.

Good one, floyd, enjoyed.


Thanks, Dave. Like I said, having Janice join me on this was a no-brainer...just the right touch...

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FJ/Reid & Janice,
Wow, this is different and unexpected. Fun tune! Cool opening. Excellent rhyming with all these stops. Excellent vocals from both of you. Easy listening, airy backing. Goes in very well. Mix is nice and crisp. Would be interesting to hear original ver. too.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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Not Honky Tonk, not Brownsville but a whole lot of both...the honey trap in the 1st two lines is like a jag hook.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi floyd,

Another masterpiece! And as others have already said, there’s nothing that sounds dated about this at all. It’s still rings fresh to the ears.

Your work is always superb. This is no exception. Your band is a perfect fit. You and Reid Richmond have written a really fine song. And the cream in this cup of coffee is the best backup (and lead) singer I know. Janice’s vocals never fail to work magic smile Everything about this is a credit to all involved.

The chorus intrigued me! I love, love, love that triple rhyme in line 3 (strung it out/hung it out) and then paralleled using two syllables in line 6 ([un]fair to/there to). This is sophisticated lyric writing by every measure (no pun intended).

That’s when I thought I’d better analyse your chorus. As you know, you’ve been inspirational for me when it comes to lyrics and it’s been a while since I’ve seriously analysed any of your work. I’ve discovered that if I want to enhance my own writing ability, I need to understand how it’s done by competent people such as yourself.

So let’s go...

I’ve colour-coded the rhymes and I’ve looked at the rhyme scheme and the poetic meter (that is, the number of stressed syllables in a line). And putting everything together, I created the table below. Yellow and green end-of-line rhymes are used to separate the first section from the second section with it's gray and blue end-of-line rhymes.





This is what stands out to me at first glance…

► Lines 7 and 9 don’t rhyme but there is a strong connection of consonance through “s” and “m”. Also the “o” sound in “promised” is close to the “u” sound in “something”. So, while there’s not a strict rhyme between these two words, there is definitely some sonic paste that glues them together a bit.

► By and large, the lines scan as 3, 4 and 5 feet (strong syllables). Moreover, there is a kind of symmetry in how the meter flows (e.g. 4-4-5, 4-4-5, 4-3, 4-3). Then the last line stands all by itself—lonely—with just two strong/stressed syllables. This is a powerful way to isolate that last line and shine lots of sonic spotlights on it. It’s also the eleventh line and it interrupts the laid back flow of symmetrical lyrics. All this make it 100% perfect for the title!

► Moving from 4-4-5, 4-4-5 meter to 4-3, 4-3 meter brings some lyric acceleration. When I say the lyrics aloud, I can feel this. This makes the words give a feeling of speeding up as they head into the last line.

► It’s interesting that the chorus is also book-ended in that the first three words and the last three words are identical. Nice!

This is excellent material to understand and deconstructing it has been very valuable for me.

I didn’t stop with the above. But I shan’t bore you with adding what followed into this post. If you want to discover where I went next, after thinking about the above, it’s on the below pdf file.

Here’s the link…

Continued on this pdf (Link)...

All the best and thank you! I'm really, really grateful for all the guidance that your work has provided me over the years.

Noel


MY SONGS...
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I can see why there was interest in this, it's a winner1
Too bad they couldn't make it happen.............yet.

moto

Noel96 #655562 05/13/21 10:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: Noel96

► Lines 7 and 9 don’t rhyme but there is a strong connection of consonance through “s” and “m”. Also the “o” sound in “promised” is close to the “u” sound in “something”. So, while there’s not a strict rhyme between these two words, there is definitely some sonic paste that glues them together a bit.

It would be the same for lines eight and ten of your matrix: "back" and "that" have a strong "a" which carries the day rather than a strict rhyme. It reads well enough and "RIGHT".


Cheers
rayc
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Tangmo #655589 05/14/21 04:24 AM
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Originally Posted By: musician17
Love it! A deceptively upbeat song :-) Pro job - both from you and from Janice and her seamless harmonies. Congrats to all! :-)


Thanks, James. "Seamless" - that is a good description of Janice's harmonies on this...


Originally Posted By: Tangmo
More great internal rhyme than inside the covers of a book on internal rhyme...or something. It's kinda rare when the lyric grabs me first, but this one did. It has the feel of a country song the Beatles would have covered back in the day if the stars had aligned and time was more malleable. Just great.


HA! If you find that malleable time, let me know...I've been looking... smile smile

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Peter and Dave

Thanks for the harmony comments!

Janice

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As stated many time, very clever write. Timeless subject, ages well (actually doesn't age at all), and the backing is fresh. I am always intrigued by songs that have a "down" subject with a very upbeat melody and backing. It fascinates me how well that works. I have written several like that, myself.

Thia is really great, in every way. The words are very well placed. The band is hot. And your vocals, as well as your musical-sister's spot on harmonies make for a very nice listen!

Steve


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Hi Floyd,

Foot-tapping good. You can dance to it as well - a good workout.

Absolutely classic Floyd all the way through.

Great performances and a wonderful "live" sounding mix.

Proper job.

ROG.

Scott C #655797 05/16/21 05:01 AM
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Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
very current love this. great production and very pro sound !!! thanks Eric


Thanks, Eric!


Originally Posted By: Scott C
What a cool intro Floyd. Must have been thrilling then ultimately disappointing that the song was not developed. I think they made a mistake. This is an excellent tune. Super vocal and just loved the chicken picken..


Really appreciate that, Scott...

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Delightful write, arrangement, production and performance. This was right in the bullseye for what I recall of 90's hits. For me, this song sounds like it would fit into the wheelhouse of the Oak Ridge Boys during that time period unless the band was wanting to move into another direction and this one was too close to their current work.

No matter, the 90's came and went without it but fortunately for us, it's still a winner today. As always, you and Janet sound great together. Enjoyed my listen.


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Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Floyd,

This sounds really great. Love the older Nashville sound and Janice's work.

The vocals are super classy. Really an excellent write and production.


Thanks, Mr. Snyder...


Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
A bouncer in the backseat. One of those songs that when you're out for a ride just listening to music with friends and the driver kicks it into overdrive because she just can't sit still through this one. After that harrowing experience you just ask her to play it again. Grewat write and excellent choice of harmony skills.


Well...if your music cannot provide a harrowing experience, what good is it?
shocked smile wink
Thanks, Marty!...

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M17, David S., Robert, JPT & Leon,

Thanks y’all for mentioning my small part on floyd’s wonderful song!

Janice

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Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Floyd,
A clever write nicely paired to the bouncy rhythm - your vocals are a great example of how to sing tight, fast paced lyrics and its always a pleasure to hear Janice joining in.
I can definitely hear how a country singer with real twang would have fun with this.

Robert


Thanks for the nice comments, Robert...


Originally Posted By: jptjptjpt
Nice song. Well written. Nice vocals by both of you. The band plays along nicely. Too bad that Nashville doesn't play this style of country any longer. We are all the worse for it.


Thanks, jpt3...

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Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
Top job Floyd, this really packs in everything.

The driving bass sits absolutely perfectly in the mix and keeps everything swinging along really nicely.

Lots to like about this. Lots.


Trev - always appreciate you dropping in... thanks!


Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great song with lots of tasty internal rhyme! Performance and production both stellar. I'm sure it has you wondering just how close it was to being a hit. Sounds like one to me.



Thanks, TM. It was always nice (sometimes exciting) to have a song put on hold - regardless of how long (or short) - but it was/is a very crowded market. There are literally hundreds of thousand of songs on the shelves in Nashville that no one will ever hear...and they ALL sound like hits...

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Originally Posted By: Leon1
Excellent write Floyd (and Reid). The band you've assembled sounds great, as of course do you and Janice. A real shame it wasn't picked up by Tanya Tucker or one of the hats. Bob mentioned Dwight Yoakam - I can totally hear him doing it.
Regards,
Leon


Thanks, Leon!!!


Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
Darn good stuff. Shame they didn't pick it up. Excellent vocal performances.

Your production sounds like an authentic band.


Appreciate that, Scott....


Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
FJ/Reid & Janice,
Wow, this is different and unexpected. Fun tune! Cool opening. Excellent rhyming with all these stops. Excellent vocals from both of you. Easy listening, airy backing. Goes in very well. Mix is nice and crisp. Would be interesting to hear original ver. too.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.


Thanks, Misha. The original demo was, of course, done in Nashville - top studio and top studio musicians...Reid actually did the vocals. The only copy that I have found is a very worn cassette tape and the sound does not do it justice. If I can find a better copy, I'll see about adding it to the thread...

rayc #656444 05/21/21 04:18 AM
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Originally Posted By: rayc
Not Honky Tonk, not Brownsville but a whole lot of both...the honey trap in the 1st two lines is like a jag hook.


Thanks, ray...

Noel96 #656448 05/21/21 04:33 AM
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Originally Posted By: Noel96
Hi floyd,

Another masterpiece! And as others have already said, there’s nothing that sounds dated about this at all. It’s still rings fresh to the ears.


It has been a nice surprise that folks seem to think that this has "held up" and does sound "dated"...

Quote:

Your work is always superb. This is no exception. Your band is a perfect fit. You and Reid Richmond have written a really fine song. And the cream in this cup of coffee is the best backup (and lead) singer I know. Janice’s vocals never fail to work magic smile Everything about this is a credit to all involved.


...and we all appreciate that!!

Quote:

The chorus intrigued me! I love, love, love that triple rhyme in line 3 (strung it out/hung it out) and then paralleled using two syllables in line 6 ([un]fair to/there to). This is sophisticated lyric writing by every measure (no pun intended).


Thanks! those type "songwriting tools" have always played a big role for me... internal rhymes, quick short rhyme lines, alliteration (especially). Anything like that that you use often eventually become "second nature"....you do it without really thinking about it.


Quote:

That’s when I thought I’d better analyse your chorus. As you know, you’ve been inspirational for me when it comes to lyrics and it’s been a while since I’ve seriously analysed any of your work. I’ve discovered that if I want to enhance my own writing ability, I need to understand how it’s done by competent people such as yourself.

So let’s go...

I’ve colour-coded the rhymes and I’ve looked at the rhyme scheme and the poetic meter (that is, the number of stressed syllables in a line). And putting everything together, I created the table below. Yellow and green end-of-line rhymes are used to separate the first section from the second section with it's gray and blue end-of-line rhymes.





This is what stands out to me at first glance…

► Lines 7 and 9 don’t rhyme but there is a strong connection of consonance through “s” and “m”. Also the “o” sound in “promised” is close to the “u” sound in “something”. So, while there’s not a strict rhyme between these two words, there is definitely some sonic paste that glues them together a bit.

► By and large, the lines scan as 3, 4 and 5 feet (strong syllables). Moreover, there is a kind of symmetry in how the meter flows (e.g. 4-4-5, 4-4-5, 4-3, 4-3). Then the last line stands all by itself—lonely—with just two strong/stressed syllables. This is a powerful way to isolate that last line and shine lots of sonic spotlights on it. It’s also the eleventh line and it interrupts the laid back flow of symmetrical lyrics. All this make it 100% perfect for the title!

► Moving from 4-4-5, 4-4-5 meter to 4-3, 4-3 meter brings some lyric acceleration. When I say the lyrics aloud, I can feel this. This makes the words give a feeling of speeding up as they head into the last line.

► It’s interesting that the chorus is also book-ended in that the first three words and the last three words are identical. Nice!

This is excellent material to understand and deconstructing it has been very valuable for me.

I didn’t stop with the above. But I shan’t bore you with adding what followed into this post. If you want to discover where I went next, after thinking about the above, it’s on the below pdf file.

Here’s the link…

Continued on this pdf (Link)...

All the best and thank you! I'm really, really grateful for all the guidance that your work has provided me over the years.

Noel


That is quite the extensive analysis!! As I said above, I don't really "think about" a lot of this stuff as it happens...it "just happens". But that's because I've done it a lot - and for a long time - so most of those things just "fall into place" as I write. It is cool to see you break it down from your own perspective...

Thanks for taking the time to listen AND for the extensive write-up!!..


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Originally Posted By: CaptainMoto
I can see why there was interest in this, it's a winner1
Too bad they couldn't make it happen.............yet.

moto


moto - We just have to "make 'em happen" here amongst friends... thanks for being part of that!!

rayc #656680 05/23/21 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted By: rayc
Originally Posted By: Noel96

► Lines 7 and 9 don’t rhyme but there is a strong connection of consonance through “s” and “m”. Also the “o” sound in “promised” is close to the “u” sound in “something”. So, while there’s not a strict rhyme between these two words, there is definitely some sonic paste that glues them together a bit.

It would be the same for lines eight and ten of your matrix: "back" and "that" have a strong "a" which carries the day rather than a strict rhyme. It reads well enough and "RIGHT".


smile

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Thank you Ezekiel’s S and Misha for the harmony mention.
I do appreciate it.

Janice

Noel, I am humbled by your comments about my small role in this great production.
Thank you so much!

Janicr

ROG #656823 05/24/21 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted By: Steve Young
As stated many time, very clever write. Timeless subject, ages well (actually doesn't age at all), and the backing is fresh. I am always intrigued by songs that have a "down" subject with a very upbeat melody and backing. It fascinates me how well that works. I have written several like that, myself.

Thia is really great, in every way. The words are very well placed. The band is hot. And your vocals, as well as your musical-sister's spot on harmonies make for a very nice listen!

Steve


Thanks, Steve. Very much appreciated!!


Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd,

Foot-tapping good. You can dance to it as well - a good workout.

Absolutely classic Floyd all the way through.

Great performances and a wonderful "live" sounding mix.

Proper job.

ROG.


Thanks, ROG!!

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Late on this one, but I like it a lot. I'd really like to hear the original demo.

Regards,

Bob

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Great vocals. Really like the harmonies with your sister. A talented family!


Chris
More of my music at: https://soundcloud.com/user-663569023
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Steve & Chris

Thanks for the nice harmony comments.

It’s always a pleasure to be invited in on a song with my music brother!

J&B

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Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
Delightful write, arrangement, production and performance. This was right in the bullseye for what I recall of 90's hits. For me, this song sounds like it would fit into the wheelhouse of the Oak Ridge Boys during that time period unless the band was wanting to move into another direction and this one was too close to their current work.

No matter, the 90's came and went without it but fortunately for us, it's still a winner today. As always, you and Janet sound great together. Enjoyed my listen.


Charlie - Thanks! as always....


Originally Posted By: 90 dB
Late on this one, but I like it a lot. I'd really like to hear the original demo.

Regards,

Bob


Thanks, Bob!! (I'm still looking for it....)


Originally Posted By: Chris Dent
Great vocals. Really like the harmonies with your sister. A talented family!


Thanks for stopping by, Chris...



JANICE - THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANKS YOU!!! smile

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So what was the rewrite of the opening lines you gave her? I mean if you're gonna bring it up...enquiring minds want to know. smile
This sounds good to me. I like the toe tapping 90's hats' vibe you got going on.
90's male country - hats, hunks or bands.
I remember that. grin

Josie

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