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If you ever need a laugh, pull up Craigslist and look at the musician ads. Hilarious stuff. Every kid who thinks he is the next rock star recruiting for COPY BANDS!
There was one about 6 weeks ago here that made a powerful, impassioned request to recruit a guitar player for (get ready for it) A Dream Theater tribute band.
Seriously, dude? DO you think a guy who is good enough to play Petrucci licks is trolling Craigslist looking for work? If he can play that well he has more work than he can handle.
I replied to the ad and asked him why he thinks someone at that level is looking or a gig on Craigslist, knowing the caliber of people who try to find players there. His reply was:
"Ha. Smart a** (I did that myself)! I have already had 3 people reply to that ad!"
My reply to that was "Drop me a line after the auditions. And I am DYING to know who is playing keyboards. I play keyboards. I know every keyboard player in the city. There are 3 who could come close to handling what Rudess plays. None of them are going to be interested in a startup, mainly because they are too busy already to take on a project requiring that much woodshedding and rehearsal time. Also because they are old."
Those ads are the best thing ever!! Clubs looking for bands to play in the "pay to play" model, wannabe agents trying to find suckers who believe they will be put on tour, really bad bands looking for a player who will make them a little less really bad...
Funny stuff.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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Many years ago we needed a bass player for our wedding band so I put an add in the paper. What a joke that turned out to be!
One of the best ones went something like this "I am a bass player experienced in many styles of music so I should fit perfectly in your wedding band. One question, do you have a bass and amp that I can use?".
Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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The latest wave here has no middle ground. It's either a bunch of kids starting out or a bunch of old guys who made no money at their day gig for the last year and need to try and make some money somehow. Never considering, apparently, the fact that the music scene here is dead because bars are on such limited schedule opportunity due to state closures.
I have never seen a group of people so unable to interpret information as the US is since the vaccine started. They said when it started that the vaccine will not prevent you from catching Covid. It will only limit the symptomatic effect people who catch it will see.
This is similar to taking every mirror out of your house thinking it will mean you have lost weight because you can no longer see your fat azz.
The idea that stores are going to say "If you have been vaccinated you don't have to wear a mask in the store" is ridiculous. What that boils down to is "We believe that EVERYBODY coming through our doors will be honest. AND we still don't understand/believe that masks keep YOU from contracting the virus. (Nobody ever said they would. They keep YOU from passing it along to others. Remember, because of the vaccine you can have Covid and not know it because you don't see symptoms.)
And frankly, as I have said, I have seen no difference in my life during even the most strict quarantine periods because I never go anywhere anyway. I quit a band for several reasons, one of them being that the other people refused to wear masks when we crammed 10 people into a small room to rehears, despite one of the being a doctor and another catching Covid. The main reason was that I just don't want to do it anymore.
Last edited by eddie1261; 05/18/21 06:28 AM.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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The latest wave here has no middle ground. It's either a bunch of kids starting out or a bunch of old guys who made no money at their day gig for the last year and need to try and make some money somehow. Never considering, apparently, the fact that the music scene here is dead because bars are on such limited schedule opportunity due to state closures.
I have never seen a group of people so unable to interpret information as the US is since the vaccine started. They said when it started that the vaccine will not prevent you from catching Covid. It will only limit the symptomatic effect people who catch it will see.
This is similar to taking every mirror out of your house thinking it will mean you have lost weight because you can no longer see your fat azz.
The idea that stores are going to say "If you have been vaccinated you don't have to wear a mask in the store" is ridiculous. What that boils down to is "We believe that EVERYBODY coming through our doors will be honest. AND we still don't understand/believe that masks keep YOU from contracting the virus. (Nobody ever said they would. They keep YOU from passing it along to others. Remember, because of the vaccine you can have Covid and not know it because you don't see symptoms.)
And frankly, as I have said, I have seen no difference in my life during even the most strict quarantine periods because I never go anywhere anyway. I quit a band for several reasons, one of them being that the other people refused to wear masks when we crammed 10 people into a small room to rehears, despite one of the being a doctor and another catching Covid. The main reason was that I just don't want to do it anymore.
First part... yep that's some funny stuff..... I never reply to those kinds of things because..... I have been there, done that, and don't wish to do it again. Part 2. There's a federal law called HIPPA that says it's none of your ######## business. PERIOD. Part 3.... ditto
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Part 2. There's a federal law called HIPPA that says it's none of your ######## business. PERIOD.
And there's an amendment to the constitution that says I can state my opinion with flack from you. Though it's not my favorite amendment... The one right after it is. And actually, HIPPA is about limiting disclosure of information by a medical provider, not my opinion. If you are going to cite law, know law. If people are too stupid to understand facts and interpret data, maybe they should have stayed in school beyond the 9th grade rather than starting fist fights in Walmart.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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Part 2. There's a federal law called HIPPA that says it's none of your ######## business. PERIOD.
And there's an amendment to the constitution that says I can state my opinion with flack from you. Though it's not my favorite amendment... The one right after it is. And actually, HIPPA is about limiting disclosure of information by a medical provider, not my opinion. If you are going to cite law, know law. If people are too stupid to understand facts and interpret data, maybe they should have stayed in school beyond the 9th grade rather than starting fist fights in Walmart. Oh come on... you know fist fights at Walmart are quality redneck entertainment. Nothing like a Friday night or Sunday afternoon around the first of the month at the local Walmart. Heck... we've had a few gun fights at our local Walmart ( high schools kids headed to the prom none the less) and actual bombs exploding in the paint dept.... ( Oh wait, that bomb thing was a Lowes store up state) Besides... the greeters and mask enforcers and soon to be vaccine passport enforcers don't know the laws either.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Speaking of 'laws', I suggest you don't take this away from the theme of the initial post (which was funny and very much music-related), or it will be yet another thread soon blown away.
BIAB 2024 Win Audiophile. Software: Studio One 6.5 Pro, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6; Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Roland Integra-7, Presonus Studio 192, Presonus Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors
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Matt's right guys, let's get this back on track.
About 50 years ago (can it really be that long?) I was playing "DEP" just to earn some cash. If you don't know "DEP" it means deputising for someone who's not able to play for whatever reason and it can be for one gig or maybe for several weeks. I got a call from a guy who played guitar and his wife was the singer. They did mainly Country and always worked with DEP bass and drums because, as I found out later, no one would work with them for more than a few gigs. I was on bass and as we stood on stage one night his wife announced a song we hadn't done and which I had never heard of. I whispered to the guy to see what the key was and he just shrugged. I asked what the opening chord was and he said - I don't know, so I asked him to face me so I could watch his hands. We got through the song and the audience cheered. The point of the story?
1) It illustrates what we have to do to earn a crust.
2) The audience can still be entertained by people who haven't got a clue.
I left after that gig.
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Herb, do I have a "laws" story for you, but not in public. Just last night, and it took some doing to convince the right people I was right, but I won... LOL!
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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Here's one that was posted today.
Established Huey Lewis and the News Tribute seeking Vocalist.
We have Shows booked this Summer at top venues
but need replacement vocalist able to cover the sights and sounds of Huey.
Harmonica ability is a plus.
Okay, let's start with this. Shows and Summer do not need a capital S. Then let's move on to the fact that I know who this band is. The OLD singer sucked! I promise you that NO "top venues" are booking this band. And finally, this is mid May. There is nothing in this area booking acts yet for anything before September.
And at the crux of every one of these ads is this. If somebody is good enough to sing that soul music of Huey Lewis, he isn't trolling Craigslist for a job. He is already probably in 3 or 4 bands.
For an area like the Cleveland area with the reputation of being this major music city, it really isn't. Most of the bands are trios with a singer and nobody else can sing, or your basic inner city hood rat who thinks he is a "rappa" and plays in front of a laptop making awful 4 bar looped noises. Most of the clubs are pay to play clubs where unless you see the most tickets you have no chance to headline the 6 band show where each band gets 30 minutes. Almost every band is a "wives and girlfriends" band because no bands really have followings beyond wives, girlfriends, and the wives coworkers. The main thing is that as the "my age" people die off, there is nobody coming up behind them. The young 'uns know how to press the play button on their looping machine but not how to play. How many times can you go listen to people reciting bad beat poetry that is angry, racist and sexist?
And that's who is running the ads!!
Does any area actually have a good music scene anymore?
Last edited by eddie1261; 05/20/21 07:07 AM.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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"For an area like the Cleveland area with the reputation of being this major music city, it really isn't."
Huh, I've never heard Cleveland called a major music city. I've heard it called a lot of things but that ain't one of them. <grin>
Then again I'm from that great state up north.
.. and no, it's been a couple years since any area has had any kind of a music scene, let alone a good one.
My best friend and I tried for a lot of years, and managed to make some chatter, but it's not like it was, nor do I expect it to be any time soon, if ever again.
FWIW we are trying to mentor some younger people, if for no other reason than to try to keep music alive around here.
Considering the things my parents accomplished, it is the very least I can do.
Make your sound your own!
.. I do not work here, but the benefits are still awesome
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Huh, I've never heard Cleveland called a major music city. I've heard it called a lot of things but that ain't one of them. That became the party line (spewed mainly by people who DON'T play) because of the Hall of Fame being here. I have been to that place once and frankly found it kind of boring. Typical tourist trap that makes money selling t-shirts and shot glasses. They bring on those themed exhibits that stay 90 days or so before the next one comes in, but as I have said often I get no thrill from someone else's accomplishments. Clapton's SG, Janis Joplin's Porsche... my life is no better or worse because I saw them. Kind of like my perspective about nostalgia tours by old bands. A guy called me to go to the last Eagles tour before Frye died. The tickets he had were $400 each. $400. That's a mortgage payment. To watch a bunch of old guys play songs for 2 hours that I heard them play when they were actually good? I'd rather make the mortgage payment for 30 more days than trade it for 2 hours of being bored. Ringo played the casino near me. Nope. 3/5 of Journey. Nope. 2/5 of REO Speedwagon. Nope. 4/5 of Styx. Nope. I honestly doubt that I would go to anything now short of them trying to bring back the 2 dead guys and have a Beatles reunion. The music scene here USED to be good. Raising the drinking age from 18 to 21 ruined it. A lot of bars closed and suddenly there were more bands than clubs so the price wars started. When it was still a seller's market we made decent money. As soon as it became a buyer's market the prices fell quickly.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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The rock hall of fame has one event that I positively love to attend. The high school rock off. High school age kid bands get to play over several weekends at the rock hall. The kids play their hearts out. Yes, it is loud but so much fun. $10.00 admission fee including the exhibits. Last time I attended I had to get tickets from one of the bands. Before next year, I need to find a high school band that auditions and gets to play there. (Hopefully!) Rockoff ...Deb
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And that is the pay to play model clubs use now. I despise that the bar wants the band to do their job. My job is to entertain their customers, not do their promotion.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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So.....
I joined a band once upon a time. It was being put together by a guy who used to do an "Elvis impersonation show". And not very well..... I was never a big Elvis fan and aside from a few of the old rock standards, really despised playing Elvis tunes.
So I asked him about the "Elvis thing". He assured us all that he really didn't want this to be an Elvis band and that he was done with that part of his musical career. OK.... taking him at his word, we worked up a bunch of rock standards and country stuff.
Fast forward to our first gig. He held true to his word.... but at the end of the night he handed us $5.00 each. I said what's this? He says, we were playing for the door and the club only took in $25 on the door.... didn't even cover the gas to get there.
Several shows later..... (no more playing for the door).... we're about halfway through the night.... he says... Gimme a G. And he whips into an unrehearsed ELVIS song..... whiskey tango foxtrot?.... Ok I'm a good sport.... I play along. Several of us sang a few songs....and one of mine was Lukenbach Texas.... It was on the set list.... On the intro chord.... he jumps in and starts singing it... double Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?? Coming out of that he goes into Blue Suede Shoes.....
At the end of the night I confronted him about the jump in and the EP music at which point he announced that he had booked a really good paying show in a few weeks..... and , oh yeah..... it was an Elvis Show.... so we'd be working up a bunch of EP music over the next few weeks.
I tendered my resignation.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Wow. With my temper that would probably not have ended with my "tendering my resignation"... I likely would have tendered a knee to the crotch and a left jab followed by a straight right hand to the jaw. To flat out lie that way is just wrong and he needed a lesson in honesty.
I am using the new 1040XTRAEZ form this year. It has just 2 lines.
1. How much did you make in 2023?
2. Send it to us.
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Elvis.
A band found me because they were doing an Elvis impersonator show and wanted horns but no one knew how to write music. I wrote the charts and played the gig, too.
Many Elvis clones (Elvii ?) and a crowd estimated well over 10,000. Still the biggest audience I ever played for, but I doubt anyone would recognize me again because I no longer wear the purple ruffled shirt open to the waist.
BIAB 2024 Win Audiophile. Software: Studio One 6.5 Pro, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6; Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Roland Integra-7, Presonus Studio 192, Presonus Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors
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I no longer wear the purple ruffled shirt open to the waist. That would be quite the sight at any age..... LOL
 Steve BIAB/RB 2022, Pro Tools 2020, Korg N5, JBL LSR 4328 Powered Monitors, AKG/Shure Mics.
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Matt, re: purple ruffled shirt open to the waist: Did you mean "I doubt anyone would recognize me again" or "I hope no one would recognize me again" 
BIAB & RB2024 Win.(Audiophile), Sonar Platinum, Cakewalk by Bandlab, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, Synthogy Ivory, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, NS40M Monitors, Pioneer Active Monitors, AKG K271 Studio H'phones
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BIAB 2024 Win Audiophile. Software: Studio One 6.5 Pro, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6; Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Roland Integra-7, Presonus Studio 192, Presonus Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors
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I was asked to be in the backing band for The Trammps (Disco Inferno) in the late 1970s, but I turned that one down. $200/week, riding in the band bus, and sharing rooms in motels.
I was making more than that playing in singles bars with a cover band.
Notes
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https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
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For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
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Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
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If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
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The User Showcase Forum is an excellent place to share your Band-in-a-Box® songs and listen to songs other program users are creating!
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If you'd rather listen to these songs in one place, head to our Band-in-a-Box® Radio, where you'll have the option to select the genre playlist for your listening pleasure. This page has SoundCloud built in, so it won't redirect you. We've also added the link to the Artists SoundCloud page here, and a link to their forum post.
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Congratulations to the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
We've just announced the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
There are 45 winners, each receiving a Band-in-a-Box 2024 UltraPAK! Read the official announcement to see if you've won.
Our User Showcase Forum receives more than 50 posts per day, with people sharing their Band-in-a-Box songs and providing feedback for other songs posted.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed!
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