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Originally Posted By: CaptainMoto
Sung with powerful feeling!

Another well written piece for sure.
Band sounds great and as always, vocals sell it!

moto


Thanks, moto...


Originally Posted By: Bawb
Hi Floyd,
This song has a somewhat nostalgic sound to it, very 70-ish. Especially the chorus. Good build that just doesn't exist in a lot of today's music. Great playing and vocals. Man, it is just so nice to go back through time like this sometimes. Give my regards to Lisa Gundling who also helped with the write. Thanks for posting, I enjoyed the listen...


Bawb - I can see that. Not necessarily going for a '70s sound, but was after a BIG ballad melody and sound - and that IS that era... Thanks for listening. We appreciate it...

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Originally Posted By: rayc

FJ,
The melody through
"you were giving me headaches day after day
thought my head would stop hurting when you went away"
is wonderful: as is the rest of the melody in the song but the "cadence & cascade" through those lines really, really is extra wonderful.
Left me wanting more, too.


Thanks, ray. Have to say, this is one of my favorite melodies that I've ever written. I like the way it sings. Always wished I was better at that. It's an important factor. One that many that call themselves songwriters don't pay enough attention to - if at all. I'm often guilty of that myself...



Originally Posted By: NigelSpiers
Hi Floyd,

Brilliant - I simply couldn't improve on anything.

I particularly liked the vocals - terrific.

One of the best songs I have ever heard on this forum.

Best Regards
Nigel


That's nice stuff to say...Thanks, Nigel!!

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Sounds really good Floyd.

I agree it has a nostalgic feel, and I love that about it.

It says 2014 on it. Is this a new version that you update from that time? Just curious.

It sounds awesome either way.

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floyd,

What an emotional song!
Truly excellent vocal as usual.
The construction of the song that gradually gets excited is wonderful.
The sounds of the chords are a little dissonant in some places, but the power of the song cancels them out, resulting in a wonderful work.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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Very pretty song Floyd. Loved your phrasing in the vocal. Gave the song so much emotion. Beautiful lyric. Cello and violins were a very nice add. Well done


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https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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You are going to think I'm nuts! Wait, you are STILL going to think I'm nuts. Anyway, I could so see this as a Taylor Swift song. Like the earlier version of her. Not so much the current one.

I guess to that I would add, it shows how well you write in every aspect. Of course, YOU delivering it never hurts either. Emotion. That's what it's all about. You've got it in spades, clubs, diamonds, and especially hearts.

Quote:
saving up laughter with chuckles to spare
in a house filled with lonely because you're not here


When you know two words are near rhymes and know "yeah, I can make that work. It's all in how you sing it"...always impressive. I struggle with that, not being a singer of your caliber. I sing words too literally. I can't imagine how much that expands your choices. I mean, I work with near rhymes, but they kind sound like that. I hope that makes sense.

Great instrumentation and production choices. It breathes very well with it's tensions and releases all the way around.

So I'm jumping off the compliment wagon before it goes off the cliff. I think this song is pretty damn awesome!


Chad (Hope that makes it easier)

TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Oh, Wow, Floyd.

You are the absolute master composer when it comes to your collaboration for this product.

Fantastic phrasing, outstanding layering, dynamic delivery.

You never fail. Another masterpiece.


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Originally Posted By: justanoldmuso
i'm not a country style bloke fj,,,
BUT I KNOW TALENT..and youve got it in spades.
you should be in nashville.
hey theres a song idea for you...
title >I'm Going to Nashville.<

best to you always.
om


om - Thanks! Gotta say..."been there, done that"... I lived in Nashville for 15 years...


Originally Posted By: PeterF
floyd

Stunning.

Incredibly impressive vocal, and the entire production just oozes class.

A true masterclass.

Peter


Really appreciate that, Peter....


Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Another wonderful song delivered by a world-class singer.

I'm guessing Lisa wrote a fair share of the lyrics, am I wrong? (Just guessing for the fun of it).

Liked the new age piano and the Celtic strings a lot. The piano RT gave you a nice ending, I'm not usually as fortunate.

Thanks for the great music, and all the help you've been to so many on this forum.


Thanks, TM. The bones of the lyric were all Lisa. The song actually had a different melody when I first heard it. I thought that melody really "missed the mark", so I asked Lisa if I could do a different version - which she was fine with. I modified the lyric some and moved a few things around, but for the most part, the bones are still there.

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Love this tune. The arc and development of the lyric/story really draws one in and is a universal theme. Chord progression and melody is beautiful as is your vocal. Top shelf.


Frank

Some tunes from me and my collaborator: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvGqM6ktMW5ltTnyit1KWPg/videos


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Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
SMILE. Let's let that be my perpetual comment for any Floyd Jane song, k? It stands for the awe I have for your talentS, man. There is nothing I can say, but that everything is perfect --as always. I listen to your songs more than any others as I drive. So henceforth I'll just type SMILE to let you know I'm still here. Carry on.


SMILE.

smile


Originally Posted By: jannesan
Lots of emotions in the story and the interpretation really brings them forth, "saving up laughter with chuckles to spare" nice line. The lead to the chorus is very enjoyable and then the chorus starts with unexpectedly beautiful chord progression, singing and great sounding strings. The piano sounds nice also. The song feels too short, I would have listened this high-quality song much longer.

Janne


Janne - thanks for having a listen and for the nice comments. (That "chuckles" line is my least favorite smile )



Originally Posted By: vicarn
You always sound good Floyd.

Vic

Thanks, Vic.

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Those Vocals!! You are Obiwan for Janice, as you know, and your vocals on this one are a perfect example of why. Powerful, soulful, and beautiful.

"you'd think i'd be happy, quiet as it is now
i finish book after book but miss the music somehow"

These lines in particular tug at my (Janice's) heartstrings as I think often of the laughter of loved ones as being music for my soul.

Well, in addition to your vocals and lyric and your mighty fine guitar playing, the cello, viola and piano certainly make for an excellent choice of Biab tracks.

It would be perfect over closing credits for the right film.

Throw in the fj spot on mix and the whole package is simply spectacular.

J&B

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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
FJ,
Solid collaboration!
Within couple of short years you redefined and expanded my understanding of modern country pop/rock.
Very powerful tune. Fantastic production and vocals. Excellent title and set of lyrics. Enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing.

Misha.


Thanks, Misha. Likewise, you have expanded my listening realm to include your very original style of music creation (I don't know how to "label" it - or even if one could. So unique, so good.)


Originally Posted By: jptjptjpt
Bravo! Outstanding recording. Another well crafted story song. Your vocals are the real attraction here. The chorus is sung so fully. The band was great too, especially that piano players.


jpt3 - thanks! that is a really nice summary...


Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Man! This is just absolutely fantastic.

Just a great song, outstanding vocal, totally pro mix.

One of your best I think, perfect from start to finish.


Appreciate that, Dave, as always...

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Originally Posted By: musician17
The writing is SUPERB - congratulations to you both. But: that VOICE ... what a storyteller you really are. A joy to listen to you sing.


Thanks, James!!!

Originally Posted By: Jim Fogle
Nice doubling of the vocals. Excellent, as always, production.


Jim - nice to have you drop by....

Originally Posted By: MarioD
I'm late to the party but glad that I came.

I agree with everything that has been said.

This is another pro sounding winner.


Thanks, Mario!!

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Originally Posted By: dcuny
It's got the feels and the sounds. Plus, a killer title!

Really, that's all I need to say. Excellent song, lovely to listen to.

Thanks!

Quote:

But this song got me thinking, you said "have at it"... So in no particular order:

Love the sparse opening and build. But it feels like there's one too many guitars there. And I should know, because I've written and arranged zero successful songs. wink

You might be right. There are 2 fingerpick acoustics. In phones, they weave between each other, but through speakers they can seem crowded.

Quote:

This lyric surprised me:

   you'd turn up the music. i'd close my book

I figured it would be the opposite, like

   i'd hide in a book.

If the music is too loud, you can't really concentrate on reading...

Quote:

Because I'm way too literal, this line was a bit confusing:

   i thought they were losers just after your money

Are her friends a bunch of gold-diggers trying to marry her? Yeah, this is why I'm never invited to parties. (Because I'm literal, not because I'm a gold-digger).

That was one of the original lines. I'm not wild about it myself, but left it as is. If I were writing this myself, it is not something I would have put in...

Quote:

I was just pointing out to my daughter the other day why I'm no good at writing pop music: I have a compulsion to write more words, instead of using repetition. Repetition is good, and these lines remind me of exactly that:

   thought my head would stop hurtin' out of the blue
   thought my head would stop hurtin' once you said we were through


Heck, that's nothing...Just wait for my next one. It has a a whole bunch more repetition....

Quote:

Lyrically, this chorus looks like like a bridge, but melodically it's a chorus.

(This is the point where I double-check to see if the title of the song is "You Said We Were Through").

That was, in fact, the original title. I changed it to differentiate this version from the original - which had an entirely different melody (which I felt was wrong for the lyric - so I scraped it and wrote a whole new melody...


Quote:

There are some interesting word choices when you call back to the first verse - "chuckles" and "spare":

   saving up laughter with chuckles to spare
   in a house filled with lonely because you're not here


I wouldn't have gone with "chuckles", but then... zero hit songs to my name! laugh

I did NOT care for the "chuckles" myself, but it was in the original and Lisa was quite fond of it, so I did not touch that part (I wrote the "lonely" line.)

Quote:

I didn't initially notice the first chorus was "head" and the second "heart". Subtle and clever.

The head/heart thing is Lisa's doing. She is a clever lyricist.

Quote:

There is one bit that confuses me, though. I noticed the first verse sets up the singer as the one who's complaining, who seemingly can't wait to be alone. But it's revealed at the end of the first verse that he's not the one that said goodbye first:

   thought my head would stop hurtin' once you said we were through

But... it really feels like the song is structured to hide that particular bit of information until the very last line of the song, as a final twist payoff.

That is, if that hadn't been at the end of the first verse, I'd be totally convinced that he told her goodbye first.

And then I'd get to the end and be all "Oh, Henry snap, I didn't see that coming!"

I agree with you on this. But, again, was the way the song was originally structured and changing that would have been difficult. That being said, it is more an expectation (on our part) than a "mistake"...

Quote:

Or maybe I'm just overthinking things.

Nah.

Quote:

Anyway, I had fun listening, and fun spending way too much time analyzing it.

I always enjoy your musings on our musings.

Quote:

Also, after looking at your formatting, I finally figured how to get those indents working. I didn't think non-breaking spaces could be used, but now I know better! laugh


smile

Thanks for the in-depth review!!

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The opening acoustics set the mood. I see a lot of RTs on the list, but the song doesn't feel or sound over produced. Each instrument is in its place.

Excellent emotional performance.

This is a must have in a bar's jukebox (if they still have them)--a quarter for a mournful slow dance.

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Hi Floyd,

I see I am very late in responding to your so nice song.
Your vocals in the song are very beautiful. I liked those high notes of yours in this song (you call it like that?)
Makes the song very sensitive.

I agree with everyone who said the song has a sentimental feeling from the old days in it. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Enjoyed listening, but that I always do with your songs...
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Sounds really good Floyd.

I agree it has a nostalgic feel, and I love that about it.

It says 2014 on it. Is this a new version that you update from that time? Just curious.

It sounds awesome either way.


Thanks, Mr. Snyder. This was done in 2014. Funny how THAT is beginning to seem like a long time ago. Used to be "how did it ever get to be 20-something?". Seems so Ray-Bradbury-ish....


Originally Posted By: animarorecords
floyd,

What an emotional song!
Truly excellent vocal as usual.
The construction of the song that gradually gets excited is wonderful.
The sounds of the chords are a little dissonant in some places, but the power of the song cancels them out, resulting in a wonderful work.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi


Shigeki Adachi - Thanks for the nice comments.



Originally Posted By: Scott C
Very pretty song Floyd. Loved your phrasing in the vocal. Gave the song so much emotion. Beautiful lyric. Cello and violins were a very nice add. Well done


Thanks, Scott!!!

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FJ at his epic best!!!!!! I love songs with naked emotion in the melody and lyric, and this one delivers beautifully!!! It has the soulfulness of some of my favorite Buffett ballads with a hint of Bacharach and David! A KILLER SONG my friend!!!! Take care. Greg

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Great collaboration, floyd. Fine lyrics and your vocal conveys so much emotion, reinforced by the excellent band, arrangement and flawless production.
Regards,
Leon

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Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
You are going to think I'm nuts! Wait, you are STILL going to think I'm nuts. Anyway, I could so see this as a Taylor Swift song. Like the earlier version of her. Not so much the current one.

I guess to that I would add, it shows how well you write in every aspect. Of course, YOU delivering it never hurts either. Emotion. That's what it's all about. You've got it in spades, clubs, diamonds, and especially hearts.

Quote:
saving up laughter with chuckles to spare
in a house filled with lonely because you're not here


When you know two words are near rhymes and know "yeah, I can make that work. It's all in how you sing it"...always impressive. I struggle with that, not being a singer of your caliber. I sing words too literally. I can't imagine how much that expands your choices. I mean, I work with near rhymes, but they kind sound like that. I hope that makes sense.

Great instrumentation and production choices. It breathes very well with it's tensions and releases all the way around.

So I'm jumping off the compliment wagon before it goes off the cliff. I think this song is pretty damn awesome!





smile

An interesting choice for comparison (Swift). That's a hard reach for me. BUT...if you run into her and she wants it..... smile

HA!


Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
Oh, Wow, Floyd.

You are the absolute master composer when it comes to your collaboration for this product.

Fantastic phrasing, outstanding layering, dynamic delivery.

You never fail. Another masterpiece.


Nice of you to say, Trev. Always appreciate you stopping by....

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