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#732417 09/23/22 05:03 AM
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https://soundcloud.com/user-770148857/back-on-the-street-again

First, let me apologize that the song, at 5:10, is too long. I won't do it again, I promise.


3121:Bass, Acoustic, PopHalfNotesPush Ev 085
1877:Fiddle, Soloist CountryRob Ev 120
~542:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy Ev 085
~1118:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085
RealDrums [in style:BluesRockEv^2-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

I sang the lead, which is usually not a good thing. But it's not too bad on this one, I hope. Jess of fiverr sang the harmonies on the chorus.

LYRICS:
She signed herself out of St. E's
Didn't know where to go,
Picked her kid up from the orphanage (was "Boys Town")
Took him to the picture show

Where would they sleep that night
She finally found them a room
Toilet down the hall, bed kinda small
Hot plate, iron and broom

The Fathers, they gave her five dollars
Last til she draws a check
Gotta get down upon her knees
Beg for her old job back

CHORUS
How long will she last this time
How long can she fend
Sooner or later, sure as you're born,
They'll be back on the street again

The fan ain't running lately
The weather's hot as hell
Dampen up a dish cloth
Cause the kid ain't feeling well

She'd sure like some whiskey
The meds are not enough
There's ways to get the things you need
But men can be so rough

Soda pop's a nickel
Burgers cost a dime
Poor folks they eat cheaply
In 1959

CHORUS
How long will she last this time
How long can she fend
Sooner or later, sure as you're born,
They'll be back on the street again

The world is on her shoulders
There's voices in her head
Ask the Lord for room and board
He might as well be dead

Heat of summer passes
Winter's on its way
Hope the radiator works
And keeps the cold at bay

Didn't get so lucky
Does anybody care?
Both of them start hacking
In the frigid air.

CHORUS
How long will she last this time
How long can she fend
Sooner or later, sure as you're born,
They'll be back on the street again





Last edited by TuneMonger; 09/25/22 09:56 AM.

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TM,

Give ya a WOW on this one.
A gritty, 5-minute-movie lyric. Pictures painted with words (in black and white, I think).
An excellent write.

You have the perfect voice for this. (the way no one but Waits can sing a Waits song).
(I thought the vocal was just slightly "hot" in the mix, but only VERY slightly)

COOL song. Well done.

fj

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It is indeed long, but you have a lot to tell, so that's absolutely no problem, I like it.

I would prefer a steel guitar solo instead of fiddle, but that's just my personal taste.


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This is such a well told story; you completely held my attention- all the sad lyric details just pile on the feeling its real...and your voice adds to that feeling.
I agree with Floyd`s comment on your vocal recording; the harmony sounds sweet and could maybe come forward a little.

Robert

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Hi Tunemonger,

I think this is one of your best songs and performances.

I agree with others re vocals - I would be tempted to try a dip in the EQ in the lower mids/bass at around 120 Hz to make your vocal sit down in the mix.

Best Regards
Nigel


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Good stereo image.
Excellent story and good arrangement to support it.
I'm a bit iffy about...
"Soda pop's a nickel
Burgers cost a dime
Poor folks they eat cheaply
In 1959"
as the costs are relative and that supposedly translates to US$1.75 today but 15c was a lot back then. I remember the halcyon days of getting 20c pocket money as a ten year old in 67, (that didn't last more than a year though...money became tight & the 20c was absorbed into the household spending again). $1.49 for a cheese burger and $1.29 for a soda is the US average at the moment so that the relative thing is interesting. Getting the 15c would've been harder back then for the poor even in the baby boom era.
Your voice most definitely works for the song...a bit of grit and reality without "selling" it as pop often does these days.
GOOD ONE!


Cheers
rayc
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Floyd,

Thanks so much, that is SO encouraging to read! I made an EQ cut on the vocal as Nigel suggested, not sure it helped, but my ear wants to believe it did.


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Thanks, B.D., glad the length wasn't a problem for you.


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Thanks so much, Robert, glad you were drawn in by the story. I think you're right on the harmony level and I increased it quite a bit.


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Nigel,

Thanks for the encouraging words! I tried a deep cut at 120 and didn't hear much difference, then I tried it at 100 and felt like it improved a little. That may have been wishful hearing on the part of my ear, we'll see. Thanks again for the suggestion, specific advice like that is just what I need.


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Ray,

Thanks for the kind words on this tune! I agree with you 100% on the stanza in question, I rewrote it several times and was still iffy about it when I posted it. I will fix it whenever I get up the gumption to re-sing it. Interestingly, a bottle of coke was a nickel from 1887 to 1959. And you're right, even twenty cents was a lot of money back then. Green beans were 4 cents a pound. I saw people physically fight over a quarter, not just kids but grown men. It sure was a different time and place.


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Your voice is PERFECT for this small masterpiece of a song. And a small masterpiece it really is - wow. Bravo.

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Hi TuneMonger,


Lovely song full of emotion. The violin solo is very well done. The vocal is pleasant. I apprecied.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


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Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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Rob...I don't worry about the length of a song if the story grabs you and holds your attention...and yours does...great story telling... the story is sad but true in too many cases...I love the fiddle solo...I do agree with Ray about the "1959" stanza...if you left it out completely it would not affect the song at all (but I know that editing out stuff you've written can be a very painful process sometimes)...it would go better if it were a few BPM faster IMO...well sung and great band production...an eye opening song!


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Originally Posted By: firesong
it would go better if it were a few BPM faster IMO

I had the same thought. The song is not too long, but it is a bit too slow.

A lovely, grittily lyrical piece that takes me back to that side of the early Velvet Underground (though Jess is no Nico.)

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"She'd sure like some whiskey
The meds are not enough
There's ways to get the things you need
But men can be so rough"

Powerful.

This is an Americana melancholy gem. The story is so sad and believable.

Your gritty lead with Jess’s soft, tender harmonies really are a great combination for this sweet melody.

We agree with floyd on this being cinematic, and yes, in black and white!

That’s a nice choice of RT’s and RD, and the fiddle solo was well suited as was the dreamy electric guitar.

Kudos!

J&B

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TuneMonger,

A sad, sad song, done very, very well. Terrific write, chock full of all the specifics that make a song lyric sparkle. Your vocal works for this song and Jess does a really nice job on the harmonies in the chorus—and the fiddle solo is really nice. I wouldn’t worry about the length—a song is as long as it needs to be and this one didn’t overstay it’s welcome at all. Great work here!

All my best to you,

Deej

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Hi Dan,

I think you're dead on with your comments and I appreciate the insight. I tried a sing thru at 5 bpm faster and it sounded great. And it got the song well under five minutes! Only hitch is I'd have to rehire the harmonies and I'm loathe to spit out more money. But a great idea I may do in the future.

I also think you're right, just get rid of the 1959 stanza. Again, for a redo in the future.

Thanks again, comments like these are gold.


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"She'd sure like some whiskey
The meds are not enough
There's ways to get the things you need
But men can be so rough"

J & B,

thanks for quoting the above, it's one of my favorite stanzas. Appreciate your fine review.


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Mark,

So glad to see you're still around, I was wondering about you. Thanks for your comments and I agree, any future version should be faster. Interesting comparison to early Velvet Underground, I'll take it!

Eager to hear your next musical adventure.


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