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Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
Oh, I love the sentiment of the song, and an excellent production, BD. Never too many guitars, but, yeah, it becomes quite difficult to mix them all to make them relate. You did an excellent job on this. AI! Excellent. A friend of mine added some of my lyrics to create some cool images. You did a great job with these. Did you create them, too? In Mid Journey? They really do this cool song justice. Yeah, when it comes to society I'm more of an amused observer than a willing participant.

Thank you for your kind words and of course for proofreading my lyrics, Marty

I did all the pictures myself, but not "in the middle of the journey": I always finish a song first before thinking about the video. I think if I did both at the same time I would never finish anything...
I did it similar to your friend, I fed the AI with (slightly changed) lyrics of my song. It took many tries before I had the final 29 images.


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Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Would changing the last line to "This is what I gonna be" make it better?

That's your call.

I'll be honest: I'm pretty brutal when it comes to edits and rewrites. For example, I think the first verse would be a lot stronger if you shuffled things around a bit:

   A life that seems so good
   It's just a facade, built on wealth and looks
   Born of insecurity
   I live on thin ice
   The expectations I try to fulfill
   Are not for me, or the person I want to be


But that's not the same as thinking you should actually rewrite it.

Because - for me, anyway - rewriting involves throwing old stuff out, and replacing it with new material. Rhymes and lines I love are tossed out, and although I think I end up with a stronger song, it's not the same song.

I'm not sure that something you want to do.

So the minor edits? Do what you think is best. I don't think it'll make that much difference.

But your singers won't care, either way. laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Originally Posted By: PROJECT M
Hi B.D.
Really cool song that works perfectly in conjunction with the video
The vocals are impressively good
Very good work B.D.
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Thanks for listening and your nice feedback, Andi. Very appreciated!


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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Very interesting song B.D.!
Vocal sounds very good, music too.
Really good lyrics, you're absolutely right about it.
And... I love the video!

Anne-Marie

Thank you for your positive feedback, Anne-Marie.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video as well. It was the first time I tried something like this.


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> Thank you for your kind comment, Rob.
> If you find awkward phrases don't be shy and write what's wrong.
> I'm here to learn!

Hey B.D.,

Dave Cuny covered all my points and much more. But in the future I'll point out anything I think is amiss. In general, you do a great job for English not being your primary language.


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Nice! Good message. Lyrics work for me, but I'm certainly not the strongest lyricist here, and I see you have already received good feedback on that aspect.

Music wise I love the way you build the intensity of the track with guitars/drums, then drop it back etc. Great dynamics! Vocal sounds good, delivers the message well.

Really liked the video too, what software do you use if you don't mind my asking? I'm always trying to improve the videos I do.

Overall, really well done, watched a couple of times.

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B.D.,
Neat tune. Good message & good lyrics. Pretty cool things what those vocal synths can do. You did a grand job on making robo girl respect phrasing. Good arrangement. Very clear mix and listens well. In my view does not need Botox. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

P.S. I believe you take critique well... So here is my 2 cents. In recent couple of years I have heard couple of dozen tunes in which vocaloids were used. It starting to sound a bit the "same" as far as voice "characteristics" go. I would try to dust vocals a little with some plugins, like saturation / distortion or some other coloring filters, so it doesn't sound too surgical. I hope it makes sense.

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Hi B.D., really good sound - very modern feel, love the drums and great video as well. Would never have known it was AI vocals, wow!

Cheers,
David


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Originally Posted By: jannesan
I like the message of the song, "Marching to the drums of conformity" is a nice write.

On the first listen, the vocals and guitars seemed to fight for the same frequencies, I couldn't fully hear the lyrics, after reading them that was no more a problem, but maybe a boost on Eleanor's higher frequencies could make things better... or maybe it is just my bad hearing wink Anyway, nice pop band fits with Eleanor's low voice and especially the drums are mixed perfectly. Good work with Eleanor.

Janne

Thanks a lot for listening and your feedback, Janne.

I used "ducking" to get the piano out of the way for vocals, but I didn't do it for the guitars because they are hard panned L/R, so theoretically there shouldn't be a problem.

I haven't tested it in mono, though, so a mono speaker (or stereo speakers far enough away) might show a problem.
I'll check that. Thanks for pointing this out!


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Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Another fine example of the power of this technology in talented hands.

Your piano, the RT's and the mix yielded excellent dynamics.

Your excellent video, while different from the previous, offered images that well supported the lyric.

Nice production ... not nits.

J&B

Thank you both for your nice comment, J&B.

Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Eleanor and her siblings nailed it!

I now have 4 siblings: Eleanor, Natalie, Weina and Kevin.
The plan is to create the digital equivalent of The Corrs and conquer the (music) world grin


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Originally Posted By: olemon
I like the tune. Eleanor has a terrific voice. I actually wanted the vocal to be a bit more up front.

But hey, the production is quite solid.

Thanks for listening and your feedback, Scott. When I do the final mix including all the great feedback from this forum I'll surely have a second look at the vocal levels.


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
I'll be honest: I'm pretty brutal when it comes to edits and rewrites. For example, I think the first verse would be a lot stronger if you shuffled things around a bit:

   A life that seems so good
   It's just a facade, built on wealth and looks
   Born of insecurity
   I live on thin ice
   The expectations I try to fulfill
   Are not for me, or the person I want to be


But that's not the same as thinking you should actually rewrite it.

Because - for me, anyway - rewriting involves throwing old stuff out, and replacing it with new material. Rhymes and lines I love are tossed out, and although I think I end up with a stronger song, it's not the same song.

I'm not sure that something you want to do.

Thank you so much for taking the time (again) to write such detailed feedback, David. I really appreciate it!
I have absolutely no problem throwing out old stuff (okay, if I have a video with lip-synced animations, I have a problem. A different one though...), so I'm always open to help from others.

In my opinion, if you want to write the best song possible, you should leave your ego in the closet and listen to what others have to offer.
And what you offer here is pretty good, especially the last 2 lines make the first verse much stronger.

If you're fine with it I'll try to change the first verse (I hope I can get all the syllables in), give you co-writing credits and you'll be rich and famous grin


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Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
If you're fine with it I'll try to change the first verse (I hope I can get all the syllables in), give you co-writing credits and you'll be rich and famous

If you're fine with it, that's all that matters. laugh

And no co-writing credit, please! I've left all the hard work for you.

For example, I've restructured the first verse to where I think the ideas flow better. But that destroys the rhyme scheme.

So - if you keep that order - you either need to figure out how to move the rhymes, or come up with a different idea that communicates the same sort of thought, and manages to rhyme!

Which is miserably hard for me, because it's hard enough for me to write a cliche in the first place, to say nothing of writing something that's better! (Not that you've written a cliche).

My main consolation is Jimmy Webb agrees that it's hard work, so at least I'm in good company.

Which reminds me - Jimmy Webb wrote "Tunesmith: Inside the Art of Songwriting", which is perhaps one of the best books on songwriting I've ever read, although YMMV. wink


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B.D.Thomas,

Nothing wrong with addressing the vanity embraced by so many in life! Aging gracefully is an art that should be the desire of everyone!

The song sounds really good! Mixed well and the vocal treatment is excellent! This is a super sounding track!

Thanks, Torrey




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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude

Nice! Good message. Lyrics work for me, but I'm certainly not the strongest lyricist here, and I see you have already received good feedback on that aspect.

Music wise I love the way you build the intensity of the track with guitars/drums, then drop it back etc. Great dynamics! Vocal sounds good, delivers the message well.

Really liked the video too, what software do you use if you don't mind my asking? I'm always trying to improve the videos I do.

Overall, really well done, watched a couple of times.

Thank you for listening an your nice feedback, Dave.

The software I've used for the video:
  • Stable Diffusion: it's free, a PITA to get it running locally, but it creates images from text (here: from my lyrics) in a style of your choice.
  • FantaMorph: it is a commercial software that costs from 30 dollars. It does the morphing of the faces pretty well and fast. I already had it, there are many other solutions for this task.
  • Magic Music Visuals: also a commercial software that costs from 45 dollars. It can create visual effects from audio files, and I use it for almost all my videos. Here it is used only to synchronize the video images with the music (slowing down and speeding up the video as needed) and to visualize the "pumping" effect of the bass drum.


Hope this helps smile


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Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
B.D.,
Neat tune. Good message & good lyrics. Pretty cool things what those vocal synths can do. You did a grand job on making robo girl respect phrasing. Good arrangement. Very clear mix and listens well. In my view does not need Botox. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Misha for listening and your nice feedback!

Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
P.S. I believe you take critique well... So here is my 2 cents. In recent couple of years I have heard couple of dozen tunes in which vocaloids were used. It starting to sound a bit the "same" as far as voice "characteristics" go. I would try to dust vocals a little with some plugins, like saturation / distortion or some other coloring filters, so it doesn't sound too surgical. I hope it makes sense.

Exactly, I'm here to get critique ... finding my own songs flawless I can do on my own laugh

I agree that songs done with the same vocaloid sound similar, and I've already tried a few things to get a more distinctive sound. But at least for me, Eleanor's voice sounds best when it's clean, so I won't touch that.
But I have other voice databases where it works. As soon as I write a song which suits them, you'll hear it here first...


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I am 100% on board with your message.

The AI voice is amazing.

I love your arrangement.

I would work on condensing the lyrics---say the same thing with fewer words. Does that makes sense?

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Originally Posted By: djames
Hi B.D., really good sound - very modern feel, love the drums and great video as well. Would never have known it was AI vocals, wow!

Cheers,
David

Thanks for listening and your nice feedback, David smile

And I'm glad you (and others) liked the video, making this kind of video was new to me.


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
If you're fine with it I'll try to change the first verse (I hope I can get all the syllables in), give you co-writing credits and you'll be rich and famous

If you're fine with it, that's all that matters. laugh

And no co-writing credit, please! I've left all the hard work for you.
[...]

Which reminds me - Jimmy Webb wrote "Tunesmith: Inside the Art of Songwriting", which is perhaps one of the best books on songwriting I've ever read, although YMMV. wink

I see... right now I'm working on another song, but as soon as that's done I'll rewrite the lyrics.

And thanks for mentioning the book, until now I've never read a book about songwriting.
Maybe it's time to get some real knowledge smile


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Originally Posted By: Torrey Bliss
B.D.Thomas,

Nothing wrong with addressing the vanity embraced by so many in life! Aging gracefully is an art that should be the desire of everyone!

The song sounds really good! Mixed well and the vocal treatment is excellent! This is a super sounding track!

Thanks, Torrey

Thanks for listening and your kind feedback, Torrey.

I like your phrase "aging gracefully is an art" .... I think this phrase will end up in one of my songs sooner or later smile


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