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#746454 12/25/22 05:27 AM
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Title:The fragile little sparrow

Link: Eleanor Lennox: The fragile little sparrow

Update: The fragile little sparrow (remixed with louder vocals)


A song inspired by the life and early death of Cranberries singer Dolores O'Riordan.
A big thank you to all the forum members who pointed out that my vocal arrangements reminded them a bit of Dolores,
because I started listening to her old stuff again and rediscovered how good she was as a songwriter and singer.

The usual unasked for trivia:
  • since all images are copyrighted these days (i.e., there are almost NO free images of Dolores)
    the background images you see in the video are computer-generated anime-style paintings. Not perfect, but kind of usable.
  • when I investigated her life, a lot of bad things came up (child abuse, bipolar disorder). Poor girl frown
  • even though I personally prefer more upbeat stuff, a ballad here and there is fun and a welcome change.
  • my first attempt at implementing Scott's (Ezekiel's Storm) advice to "say the same thing with fewer words".
    I'm not there yet (sometimes I have trouble saying it at all), but I'm working on it smile

Special thanks (again) to Marty for proofreading the lyrics and encouraging words. His 'more me' request for the bass player has been implemented.
So if anyone thinks there's too much bass, it's all Marty's fault smile

Some technical information:
Style: _LURK.STY

The band:
Drums: NashPopBallad
Bass: 1190 (re-amped)
Guitars: 3738, 3435, 840 (all re-amped)
Viola: 2336
Strings and Synths: yours truly
Vocals: Eleanor Lennox with BG vocals from Solaria.

You can find the lyrics in the next post.


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Title: Natalie Lennox: The fragile little sparrow

Chorus:
The fragile little sparrow
who flew too high
sang her last song
a song that made me cry

The fragile little sparrow
with broken wings
couldn't carry on
and find her way back home

Verse:
She wasn't meant to fly so high
She had a dream
But she had to pay the price
For flying too high

She was searching for a place to belong
And thought she found it in the sky
But she was wrong
She didn't belong there, no

Chorus:
The fragile little sparrow
who flew too high
sang her last song
a song that made me cry

The fragile little sparrow
with broken dreams
couldn't carry on
and find her way back home
home

Bridge:
She had just a fleeting moment
but in that moment she was free
just free

Chorus:
The fragile little sparrow
who flew too high
sang her last song
a song that made me cry

The fragile little sparrow
with broken dreams
couldn't carry on
and find her way back home


Last edited by B.D.Thomas; 12/25/22 05:30 AM. Reason: Lyrics added

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I love the song. It is so sweet and exudes gentleness. For me, the vocals could come up a tad.

Vic

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Hi B.D.
Really very nice
A worthy tribute song
Sounds great and the video is very fitting to the song
I find however there is too much bass in the mix... was just a joke ;-)))
All excellent B.D.
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Originally Posted By: vicarn
I love the song. It is so sweet and exudes gentleness. For me, the vocals could come up a tad.

Vic

Hey Vic, thanks for listening and your feedback, I always appreciate it.
The vocals are indeed less loud than usual, but I thought it fits the mood better. Let's wait for some more feedback before I change anything.
Thanks for suggestion smile


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B.D. you are a master of those A.I. vocals.

This sounds real, great work on that.

Nice harmonies!

I think the vocal could come up a tad during the verses. That would make it fit better with the chorus IMHO.


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Good song!

Nice echoes of Cranberries-type, both in the vocal and the vocal phrasing.

The vocal is competing with a lot things in the same frequency. In "headphones" mode, the vocal is easy to make out. But just about any other speaker setting, the vocal is a bit too far back. So I suspect you depend a bit too much on stereo separation to make the vocal stand out from the instruments.

Lyrically, you're doing more with less, so kudos with that.

And I can hear you build contrast between the different parts. But I think there's a sameness to the song, so even more contrast of some sort would be helpful.

laugh


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B.D., very nice song and well produced. I listened on speakers and thought the vocals may be a little low, but not much - it sounded pretty good. I really liked the harmonies you were able to put together. Nice wright too.

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Nicely done enjoyed the song and the instruments are well chosen.

I agree the vocals could come up a touch.

Peter

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I've had a Cranberries station on Pandora for years and Dolores had such a uniquely beautiful voice. Her light was extinguished far too early; such a tradgedy.

I think you did a great job in the Cranberries style and you did a wonderful job lyrically.


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Nice.

A good write.

An interesting BAND.

Coo video.

Well done.

fj

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Brian...a very pretty and touching song...I'm still amazed at AI...this song fits it perfectly and your talent in that area is evident...my only nit is that the vocal seemed lost in the mix at the beginning of the song but got better (in terms of volume) as the song went on...I loved the melody of the song...the video was very well done...beautiful!

Last edited by firesong; 12/27/22 08:09 AM.

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I really liked this a lot, thought you did a terrific job. The vocal levels were fine for me, but I always use headphones. (Yes, I know, bad for mixing). Great tribute to the source of inspiration. A more intriguing chord progression might've made it more interesting, but I can't say that it would have been better. Probably perfect as is. Great work!


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Nice one!
There're a few spots where the phrasing accentuates the synthetic source.
I'm not a Cranberries fan though I do know a couple of their songs & the Dolores story.
You've done a good job.


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Originally Posted By: PROJECT M
Hi B.D.
Really very nice
A worthy tribute song
Sounds great and the video is very fitting to the song
I find however there is too much bass in the mix... was just a joke ;-)))
All excellent B.D.
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Thanks for listening and your feedback, Andi.
Greetings back from Germany smile


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Originally Posted By: vicarn
I love the song. It is so sweet and exudes gentleness. For me, the vocals could come up a tad.

Vic

Originally Posted By: MarioD
B.D. you are a master of those A.I. vocals.

This sounds real, great work on that.

Nice harmonies!

I think the vocal could come up a tad during the verses. That would make it fit better with the chorus IMHO.

Hello Mario (and Vic again),
thanks a lot for your feedback, especially about the vocal levels smile

I uploaded a remix with the following changes:
  • the original mix has only the center guitar ducked by the vocals. The remix does the same (slightly) with both guitars on the sides, so the vocals don't have to compete so much
  • the vocals got about 3dB more (slightly less because the compressor took some away)

If you can still stand the song, you can listen to the remixed version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYvZ_TLzCCk


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Good song!

Nice echoes of Cranberries-type, both in the vocal and the vocal phrasing.

The vocal is competing with a lot things in the same frequency. In "headphones" mode, the vocal is easy to make out. But just about any other speaker setting, the vocal is a bit too far back. So I suspect you depend a bit too much on stereo separation to make the vocal stand out from the instruments.

Lyrically, you're doing more with less, so kudos with that.

And I can hear you build contrast between the different parts. But I think there's a sameness to the song, so even more contrast of some sort would be helpful.

laugh


Hi David,
thanks a lot for listening and your detailed analysis, I really appreciate it!
I checked it again, I think with speakers (as long as they are not too close together) it's still okay-ish, but in mono (which I forgot to check this time frown ) or when I walk away from the speakers the separation indeed relies too much on a proper stereo setup.

I upped the vocals by about 3dB and ducked the guitars on the sides a bit, the result is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYvZ_TLzCCk

I didn't change the contrast, but I keep that in mind for my next song smile


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Ah, the bass sounds perfect, BD. smile What a wonderful tribute. I'm not familiar with her, but looked her up after hearing your song. Man, you did a fine job on the images too. The vocals do sound a lot better on the new mix. You may be sending your lyrics to the wrong guy if you want them succinct. I've never been known as one who follows Ben Franklin's advice of "why use two words when one will do." My 8-year-old granddaughter said, "You teach me a lot, Babu. Sometimes I'm afraid to ask." Don'tr listen to her, BD. I enjoy hearing your works in progress.


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BDT, it is mind blowing how you get these vocaloids to work so well. I enjoyed the song and the levels of the mix sound perfect to me. Very well written and produced,Tom

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I loved the Cranberries music. Vocals and harmonies were just awesome. Lovely lyric and backtrack. Excellent mix. Happy New Year. Well done..


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