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Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
What a heart-touching story lyric. Everything about this sounds good, particularly the guitar sound and the melody. Just as Ray said, the chorus stays with you. This one just shot up the Floyd chart.


Thanks, Scott...


Originally Posted By: tommyad
It's a good thing the tempo wasn't any slower or I might have ended up sobbing. Clever use of the 21,32,43. I always know the mix will be good, the choice and editing of the real tracks will be good and your harmonies will be spot on. So I concentrate my listening to your lead vocal and how the emotion hits me. Yes it worked-great job! Of course I study the write which is my favorite part of your work. This one is high up there along with many of your greatest hits catalogue. You are just really good at this, especially love songs. Looking forward to the next one, Tom


Appreciated, Tom....


Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
Hi FloyD I agree this is a bar razor. loved the way you choose instruments, for me the lyrics were very thought provoking and bittersweet express nicely. a well written story thanks for sharing, Eric


Thanks, eric...


Originally Posted By: Achordocaster
Hey Floyd,

I'm back! smile

This is such a nice listen. For sure up to your normal excellence! I love that chord progression. (Always have)

The instrumentation is wonderful. I really like the cello in the bridge! The story caught me a little off guard... wasn't expecting her to die.

Anyway, another song that proves what a talent you are! Nice job!

Greg

PS
I'm finishing up a new song and should be posting it soon.


Good to see you back, Greg...

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This is my favorite song of yours. Great job-- I was right there with you in the mall--
Bob

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Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Nicely done....

I liked how you changed the lyrics in the choruses to move the time line along.

I liked the twist at the end. Wasn't expecting that. I had to go back and reexamine the lyrics in V1 after that.

Good work. For me personally, the bass was a bit light but it worked well in the context of the song as you recorded it.


Thanks, Herb...


Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
Seriously Floyd, give a guy/gal a warning!
Do you not realize that people might listen to songs in their vehicle, in heavy traffic, that's not moving, with people looking staring at them with concern? Not cool. Not cool at all.

Anyway...

It's hard for me NOT to go into all the things I hear you and Bill are doing so well. There are just too many. The phrase "next level" is used a bit too often these days, but in this case, I really do believe it applies.

There are a number of words I wouldn't think to put together as "rhymes" that you made work so well. Once quick example green grass/cactus. There are others obviously as well, but it's THAT kind of thing that notches everything up.

The time progression treatment with numbers, as others have mentioned, uniquely creates interest. Also 1st chorus sitting in the hot Georgia Sun then later clear Georgia night. Brilliant. Small view being day to night, larger view being early life to a passing. Crazy good!

Of course, I always like it when someone can lead into a chorus lyrically as well as musically...

Quote:
i started a new life, i thought i'd relearn how to smile
and sometimes i'm better, but way more than once in a while

i find i'm back in athens
when i was married and thirty-two

I'm not sure what's yours and what would be Bill's so you reach get a prize.

The choice and placement of instruments also had me wowed. Again, without going into too much, adding lap steel in the second chorus really moved it in a slightly different way without being too obvious. I hate using the phrase "ear candy" because people seem to throw that phrase around a bit too much in my opinion however how you did it…THAT is how it's done! Fantastic!
How else? Well, let's add cello for the bridge! Loved that!
Final chorus, why not fiddle?
NONE of it was obnoxious, maybe at times for a lot of people, not noticed. But without it, a song can become a bit repetitive and boring without knowing why. THAT is what ear candy is supposed to take care of...as though you didn't know that. eek

The last thing I will say is I also REALLY appreciate that you do NOT do. Everything has it's pacing and isn't rushed. You allow the melody and sections of the song to breathe when they need to. It's not filling every space. I don't mean from an orchestration standpoint, but from that combination of arrangement and production that is very difficult to truly teach. Example you say? Just one would be the space between the 2nd chorus and the bridge. PERFECTION in my opinion. Nothing long, just time to pause for a moment and take in what you've already taken in before moving on. You do this in your individual lines as well, as I'm sure you know.

Anyway, this is one reason I don't post as much. I could go on and on and spend 2 days on a reply. Instead I speak it and have the voice to text do it's thing...poorly I might add. If something's not clear or seems way off in what I said, my apologies in advance. I've really learned I don't care for leaving comments. They are much less conversation and edited...aside from me obviously not proofing mine. This time, I just felt overwhelmed in the need to say something. If you knew how much I dislike writing comments, you would understand how much I loved what you have done with this song.

Thanks a million for sharing a song of this caliber. The forum is very lucky to have your and Bill's contributions !

Again, consider a slight heads up though. $268 later my therapist agrees it's a great song. grin



C - thanks for the great review/comments.
Most of the things you mention regarding the lyric is all Bill's doing. He is an excellent lyricist with a terrific sense of prosody.
I can take credit for the music/instrumentation/etc...
Your therapist can take credit for whatever she chooses
smile


Originally Posted By: RnAM
A melancholic story turned into a beautiful song.
Bill and you did a wonderful job!

Rob and Anne-Marie


Thanks, y'all...


Originally Posted By: Deej56
Floyd,

Love the ascending chord progression on the acoustic guitar in the opening (and thereafter)--nice production choice there. Terrific write--sadly sweet and touching. Great vocal and harmonies to go with a stellar production. Not much I can add to the many deserving accolades above. Just so, so well done!

My best to you,

Deej


Appreciated, Deej...

Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Your interpretation of Bill’s lyric is powerful (as Janice just said.)

Those sublime vocals and your melody, along with the stellar arrangement and clean, open mix made this sad story somehow hopeful.

I want to learn how to use RT’s the way you do when I grow up. wink The way you bring them in and out to subtly enhance the melody is remarkable.

Great collab!

J&B


Thanks! (I think you know just what to do with those RTs already... smile )

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"i traded our green grass for cactus and rocks on the lawn
threw out my old red bulldog sweatshirt, the one you always had on
two golden rings are stuck way in the back of a drawer
along with the pictures i can't bear to see anymore"

I loved these particular lyrics, but the whole song is beautiful. I cried. Well done - that doesn't happen so often any more.

You have this particular voice that is recogniseable a mile away ... no-one can beat you at what you do, and this kind of song is easily something you excel at, i.e. that kind of experienced, mature voice - looking, somewhat wryly, back over the years - understating things and letting them speak for themselves. Most importantly, you've moved me - and, I suspect, many more - to tears. Well done.

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Originally Posted By: Leon1
Hi Floyd
Another first class song. Beautifully sung as usual, lovely choice of instruments and an unexpected twist in the story. Kudos to Bill on the lyrics.
Regards,
Leon


Thanks, Leon.


Originally Posted By: Torrey Bliss
Floyd,

I payed special attention to how the realtracks worked together on this track and couldn't hear anything that sounded out of place or awkward as they sometimes will in conjunction with chord changes and how they fit the melody! You did a brilliant job making sure this sounded top shelf!

It's another beautiful FJ Country ballad, with excellent lyrics, performance and production!

Thanks, T


Thanks, Torrey....


Originally Posted By: ChicagoBob
This is my favorite song of yours. Great job-- I was right there with you in the mall--
Bob


Appreciate that, Bob...


Originally Posted By: musician17
"i traded our green grass for cactus and rocks on the lawn
threw out my old red bulldog sweatshirt, the one you always had on
two golden rings are stuck way in the back of a drawer
along with the pictures i can't bear to see anymore"

I loved these particular lyrics, but the whole song is beautiful. I cried. Well done - that doesn't happen so often any more.

You have this particular voice that is recogniseable a mile away ... no-one can beat you at what you do, and this kind of song is easily something you excel at, i.e. that kind of experienced, mature voice - looking, somewhat wryly, back over the years - understating things and letting them speak for themselves. Most importantly, you've moved me - and, I suspect, many more - to tears. Well done.


Thanks, James...

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Hi, Floyd !

Your best undoubtedly (so far) !
that´s for sure !
I just loved those chords, the
lovely background and your sublime
singing !

Number one hit, straight for the charts !

Another Masterpiece !

Thanks Dani

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