nice work on the tune.

The mix sounds good.

I read all the comments and well..... I often write tunes just to write them. It's about writing somethings just for the sake of writing something. No commercial aspirations in mind.... just write a song.

I did a challenge to myself one year.... not unlike the 50/90 mentioned...it was 26/52 or basically one song in 2 weeks. Having a family and not being a songwriter who can devote much time to this, I thought that was a reasonable goal. I did exceed the goal.

I will struggle and fret over a line or two and even words... looking for the best, most natural way to say something. The last tune I wrote (soon to be posted) gave me fits over 2 lines....and that was after all the rewrites I did on the entire tune.

all in all a good song....corney, IDK.. but still a good exercise in writing. Having a look at the lyrics a bit closer and doing a lyrical re-write might solve that issue. The trick is to grab the heart strings and engage the listener in the emotion without being to obvious that that is your intention. Some of the co-writes I have done in the past have been quite extensive.... bouncing the lyric back and forth 7 or more times, deleting lines, words, entire verses and choruses and reworking things until we were satisfied that we had done all that we could to "get it right".....

I feel it's better to write something...anything... than to write nothing at all.

One more side bar note: Jeffry Steele..... hit country writer with well over 24 #1 hits... says he writes at least one song a day, every day and out of a full years worth of songs, about 1 in 100 are actually worthy to be pitched to artists. You gotta write alot of songs, and by doing so, you get better as you learn the skills..... it is obvious that you are working on that aspect ..... keep writing my friend.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.