Guitarhacker (Herb),

I appreciate the advice. Although, I did think that this song was a pretty solid write. I'd be interested in what you think needs to be re-written and how you would go about it....

Here is the lyric:

walking home from school down by the railroad tracks
i found a treasure in a burlap sack
a half-starved, half-drowned, mixed-breed mutt
she licked my face when i picked her up
i named her "hobo".... she stole my heart
i took her home, cleaned her up, and went to mom and dad
for the hardest part

can i keep her
i'll do whatever i'm asked
i won't make the same mistakes
i may have in the past
she'll have tender care
when she needs me...i'll be there
no one could ever love her any deeper
is that enough
can i keep her

me and hobo... we're both now grown
found a place in town to call our own
hobo wandered off when we first moved in
she was rescued by the girl down the hall in 210
a perfect angel... we fell in love
it's so hard to believe.... every night ask
the heavens above....

can i keep her
i'll do whatever i'm asked
i won't make the same mistakes
i may have in the past
she'll have tender care
when she needs me....i'll be there
no one could ever love her any deeper
is that enough
can i keep her