Hi George,

Wow! This is great. It's one of the best first posts I've heard. As floyd says, "pull up a chair and sit a while". I'm really looking forward to what comes next. You've got a terrific voice and sense of musicianship.

You asked for any critical thoughts ... I only have two.

When I listened to the chorus, I found myself wondering about the last line. Let me explain. The first two lines ground the chorus in the present tense while the last line moves the lyrics into future tense. The lyrics work ok but I found myself wondering whether or not "By the creek everything's alright" would work better since it would maintain a consistency of tense throughout the chorus.

My second thought is regarding the song's structure of "verse verse chorus verse verse chorus" (i.e. V V C V V C). Did you try this as a potential "V V C V C B C (or melodic variation of verse 4 instead of a Bridge) structure. I mention this for a few reasons. These reasons are: (a) adding a new melody for what is currently the fourth verse would help boost a listener's interest by way of adding the unexpected (if you're interested, have a listen to floyd's "One More Star" to hear this song-structure in action) - alternatively V V C V C C would also be an interesting structure to try out; (b) the future tense of the fourth verse makes it potentially great Bridge material; (c) the chorus is very very strong and I bet you'd have people singing along with you on the third time through.

I offer the above thoughts simply because of your request. Please feel completely free to ignore anything I've said.

Overall, I really enjoyed the listen a great deal.

All the best,
Noel


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